No funeral for baby?


#1

Last Friday I gave birth to my daughter at 22 weeks. She had passed inutero. We had her blessed at the hospital. My husband and I had her cremated and were going to keep ashes in my home until we decide where we want her laid to rest. We were not planning on doing a funeral and if we did it would be a small one in a few months just with family. My mom is saying that I should do a funeral and that she needs to have final resting place sooner than latter. I am just wondering if people know church doctrine on this. Would be it horrible if we didn't give her a funeral? I am Catholic and my husband is not religious.


#2

I’m not positive on this one, but I would think this would still be treated like a miscarriage where a funeral is allowable, but certainly not required.


#3

I also want to say that I'm very sorry for your loss.


#4

I am sorry for your loss.

The Church does have a funeral for stillborn/miscarried children. If you want to do this (it is not required) speak to your pastor.

The Church teaches that the cremated remains of the faithful must be buried (in ground or above ground) and my not be kept in one's home or scattered. As your beautiful daughter was not baptized, I am not sure this technically applies to her however this is also something you should take to your priest.

A small service and burial might also assist in the grieving process.


#5

Yes, you can have a funeral. You should talk to your pastor, he will guide you. Also, cremated remains are to be interred-- in a Catholic cemetery or colombarium. They should indeed be interred sooner than later, as your finances allow.

I am sorry for your loss. this must be a difficult time.


#6

Joie,

We lost one at 4 weeks. We had no problem having a funeral for our dear one. A funeral is an appropriate way to say goodbye no matter how old your beloved one is.

As for timing, the interment should be sooner, as your mother said. Your child's remains are not your possession. You were given care of your child for 22 precious weeks. Now, it is your turn to return your daughter to God's care.

I'll pray for your family.


#7

[quote="1ke, post:5, topic:328032"]
Yes, you can have a funeral. You should talk to your pastor, he will guide you. Also, cremated remains are to be interred-- in a Catholic cemetery or colombarium. They should indeed be interred sooner than later, as your finances allow.

I am sorry for your loss. this must be a difficult time.

[/quote]

I believe it is not a requirement that one's remains be buried in a Catholic cemetery although that is certainly desirable.

Can. 1180 §1. If a parish has its own cemetery, the deceased members of the faithful must be buried in it unless the deceased or those competent to take care of the burial of the deceased have chosen another cemetery legitimately.§2. Everyone, however, is permitted to choose the cemetery of burial unless prohibited by law.

My bold.


#8

[quote="OraLabora, post:7, topic:328032"]
I believe it is not a requirement that one's remains be buried in a Catholic cemetery although that is certainly desirable.

My bold.

[/quote]

You are correct. It is not required that it be a Catholic cemetery. I have had relatives who have had Catholic Masses and not been buried in a Catholic cemetery (for example, a military cemetery).


#9

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.