No More Christian Nice Guy


I’m in the middle of a controversial book called “No More Christian Nice Guy: When Being Nice -Instead of Good Hurts Men
Women and Children” by Paul Coughlin. (There’s also another book for women called No more Christian Nice Girl)
This book is directed at a protestant audience so I’m not sure if this even applies to the Catholic Church. Some of the themes in this
book is that the image of Jesus has been somewhat feminized over the years. That qualities of His meekness and gentleness have been emphasized over his more masculine qualities of courage and wisdom.
Christian men are taught to be nice but not to be good, to “play it safe” and not cause a ruckus. Standing up for and defending the innocent, weak and the marginalized does not even occur to
these “Christian Nice Guy’s”. Jesus was not necessarily always nice. He was nice when he was needed to be, but he was also brave and had a backbone. He called the Pharisees a “brood of vipers fit for hell”. He overthrew the tables of the money changers in the the temple etc. Anyone have any thoughts on this?


I would very much agree with this… the secular world has fallen into the whole “Jesus was a good guy and a great teacher, but no more” kind of view of Christ, when His true nature was so much more…


Sounds like another entry in the ever-growing list of books and blogs trying to make Christianity/ religion more of a masculine thing and get men back in the pews. I think they have some good points.

I was also heartened by the fact that I went to a weekday Mass the other day with about 15 people at it and about 12 of them were adult men under retirement age. Nice change from what is usually the exact opposite. I always wonder what influences non-elderly men to attend Mass - perhaps the location of the Church being near men’s workplaces, or the time of day of the Mass?



It’s just catering to the wanna-be red pill society guys who just don’t want to commit to that whole line of thinking.

If you really want to understand cultural change, Susan Cain’s book “Quiet!” is really good as it shows how our globalistic society has rewarded extroverts and punished introverts to a level that even 100 years ago would be unthinkable.


I personally like it when people emphasize the ‘hard’ parts of Jesus, and I’m a woman. I think many Christians in general have the wrong impression of him. That because he was friends with sinners, we are not allowed to say that _____ is a sin, because that’s ‘judging’. In reality, the man was literally preaching about hell and repentance most of the time!


I haven’t read the book but the female counterpart seems to encourage women to be more assertive and bold, which is honestly the red pill fear, so I don’t know if your judgment is accurate


An interesting thing I have noticed is that the Facebook group associated with romancatholicman blog is populated in the vast majority by middle-aged and older women, including myself.


Of course, good does not always mean nice.
Sometimes you have to really snap somebody back into shape.

Be gentle as doves, wise as the serpent.


I read at least some of this book years ago. I know that Fr. Peter Damien Fehlner of the Franciscan Friars of the Immaculate has even referred to the “feminization” of the clergy. Of course it’s always best to emphasize the infinite Mercy of Jesus, in the context of teaching the truth. Unfortunately parts of basic morality and the Gospel are ignored, and Divine Mercy and Marian devotion are not preached enough. Actually, weak Marian devotion–and the decline of Rosary in particular–is what has weakened men so much.


This ‘feminization’ of Jesus isn’t about masculinity or femininity. It shouldn’t even be called the ‘feminization’. Standing up for the innocent, weak and marginalized isn’t only a man’s job, it’s also for women. Compassion isn’t for women, it’s also for men.
The real issue in these omissions is some are trying to justify sin. It’s part of the movement interested in making ‘go and sin no more’ into ‘go and continue sinning’, to cheapen the great cost at Calvary. A movement that wants to ignore personal conduct and morality and focus only on political issues. Fears sinful people instead of God.


Which is why I call it “red pill” lite. It’s for those who can’t swallow the theory as it is, it’s parceled out with a few things that appeal to women.


I’m sorry but what is the “red pill”? When I google it, it seems like some kind of “neo-masculinity” movement


You’ve got it.

There are some elements in the book that appeals to those who seem to want to like neo-masculinity but aren’t so callous and jaded and unreasonable to do so.


I was just listening yet again to Chesterton’s ‘Orthodoxy’ and this post reminds me of how he defines Christianity. He says Christianity is a superhuman paradox whereby two opposite passions may blaze beside each other. Jesus was complex, as you say. He blazed. There simply isn’t much blazing at all in modern Christians but it is particularly missing in the more traditional masculine manifestations.


They are like all other forms of men, including non-Christians and non-believers. Some of them are nice guys, and some are not. I have met nice Muslims, nice Jewish men, and nice atheists as well as nice Christians, and I have also met total jerks in all of those categories.

Not to mention the men who hold themselves out as being “nice guys” but are really seething with hostilities under the guise of “niceness”.


The venerable Fullton Sheen has stated that modern western culture has seperated Christ from his cross and oppressive governments like N. Korea, China and Cuba have taken up the cross without Christ. He did include the Soviet Union before their collapse.

Bless all


Jesus wasn’t nice much of the time. He had a sarcastic streak and was always yelling at his disciples. He did have fits of rage and depression. I don’t know where the idea of wonderful, nice, “lit up the room” Jesus came from. It surely doesn’t come from the bible. Is it because Jesus was sinless that people think he was always nice? Did Jesus sin when he raged at the money changers and called people names? Just my random thoughts about Jesus’ personality.


@Nap66 You make Jesus sound like a petulant dink.

Where do you get this idea that Jesus was “always yelling at his disciples” and prone to “fits of rage”?

His anger was righteous, he didn’t have “fits”. And I’m not aware of him EVER yelling at his disciples…


I’m genuinely curious; can you offer me some biblical verses that show this side of Jesus? I’ve never heard of him yelling at his disciples or having fits of rage.


He said to peter “Get behind me Satan!”. That’s divine sarcasm

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