No sex before marriage: Does anyone of my age still believe in it?

Just asking as I’m feeling very down at the moment and need some affirmation that I’m not just an out of touch person on this issue.

I’m the only person I know barring a few people who abstain for purely cultural reasons, that holds true to the idea of abstainence. This is true even in the church I go to.

I’m 22, so not a spring chicken by any stretch of the imagination and though it makes me look weak, I must confess that my faith is being tested.

I was bought up by Catholic parents. They were easy going, allowed me to make my own decisions etc, so the decision to actually abstain from sex has been a cross I’ve made for my own back.

I believe wholeheartedly in the idea of love, with which comes of holding yourself for that one special person. I still do, and even though I am in a very promiscuous setting (university) and though temptation has very nearly gotten hold of me manys a time, I’ve been able to keep to it.

However as mentioned before, I haven’t met ANYONE who holds the same values as me. Everyone I know indulges in it, Catholic or not.

Does anyone of my generation still believe in the idea of no sex before marriage, or am I a relic with antiquated views?

I know it sounds very petty and selfish to be thinking about myself in such a way, but it’s gnawing away at me insidiously. Making me doubt myself. The odd reactions and jokes I get from people I can take, but I want to know that I’m doing the right thing, not just some childlike notion of love.


I suggest you go to Jason & Crystalina Evert are a Catholic couple who do an amazing job of teaching young people the value of chastity. You’ll find a lot of videos there about chastity. Or, you can search for Jason Evert on Youtube.

Jason Evert - Why Chastity? - Youtube Video

I know it may seem that way but it really isnt!

At 22 you really ARE a spring chicken. I know several people at my parish who are chaste. I am close friends with three of them, two girls and a guy. These are not dorks, losers, or ugly people. They are successful professional, faithful, good looking people in their 20s. One of the girls dated a guy for 2 years, he left her because of the chastity thing. It hit her hard but I cannot tell you how much I respect her for not backing down on her morals! She will make a great wife and mother someday! You will find that MANY people who didn’t wait wished they did. I know I do.

Do you really think 22 is “not a spring chicken”? My God, I’m ten years older than you and I still consider myself a young man!

Thank you for the link, I shall check it out now. :slight_smile:

Thanks for your words of support, I appreciate it a lot. I just wish there were people like that in my parish. NOT because I necessarily want to date them, but just so I know that I’m not alone in my convictions.


Young people like you make me feel hopeful for my kids (still little right now, 6, 3, and 3 months). I so wish for them to save themselves for marriage and sometimes I think that that kind of purity has gone the way of the dodo. When I read a message like yours, I get to realize that yes, there are still young people out there with solid morals and values. So thank you. And keep at it. Do not compromise, no matter how lonely or “old fashioned” you may feel at times. Your purity is too valuable to mess with, and your moral compass is obviously right on track. Prayers for you! :hug1:

Haha, I feel old before my time. 22 is old when you get to the area of life that I’m discussing. Most are thoroughly around the block by this age! I would say that most of my friends have had at least 5 girlfriends min, with some in the twenties and thirties.

I’ve had a few girlfriends, but nothing long term. Two of them disintegrated because of the lack of sex.

I know what you mean by that. I had a girlfriend (late 20’s) who broke up with me because I wouldn’t sleep with her. No loss on my part, she obviously wasn’t “the one”.

My advice-Relax. Your 22, not 82. You’ll find the right chick. Just slow it down and realize there are alot of em’ out there that believe in what you do.

No thank you for not thinking me an oddball. Whilst some have no issue, you’d be surprised at how many people think it’s odd. Not many out and out offensive people, but just niggling little things. Even my friends think it’s kinda weird.

Thanks for your prayers, I’ll say a rosary tonight for your children. :slight_smile:

I hope so. I just wish I could find them haha. Maybe I should do some travelling when I’ve finished university. The UK isn’t that religious, so maybe I’m in the wrong place!

When I watch my wife hold my children I never am thinking “boy, I’m glad she got around the block…”
22 is a difficult age. You know you should be acting like an adult but it seems that everyone around you refuses to grow up. They go back to school, party, work at some temp job, sleep around, move in with each other, move back with their parents… It seems like they do ANYTHING just to keep from growing up. Perhaps they dont know how, perhaps we have failed our youth. But YOU know what is the correct thing. It can be hard to be the lone voice in the wilderness and it can seem lonely. But when you have a wife and kids someday, you will have unbelievable power to lead your family BECAUSE of your morals now!:thumbsup:

Oh it’s certainly a lonely path, that much is certain. Ironically, any deviation from conformity in our “liberal” society, certainly is akin to making a rod for your own back.

Ah well.

Thanks for the support. :slight_smile:

You are not the only one by a long shot! Ask God to lead you to the people He wants in your life.

I’m 23 (almost 24), and I haven’t slept with anyone. Nor do I plan to do so before marriage.

I know what you mean, about the temptation and how odd people find it. But we’re out there! I have several friends who are doing the same thing. I had a boyfriend, too (we broke up, but not because of the sex thing – he was/is waiting, himself). So, encouragement!

And I am 25 years older than the OP and still feel like a spring chicken! :thumbsup:

OP, hang in there. You are on the right path. :wink:

I’m 22 as well and am waiting until marriage, and I have a 20 year old roommate who is doing the same.

It’s not the years, it’s the mileage.

I teach young people like you at a Catholic University. I realize that many 22-year-olds think they’re already old and compare themselves to their friends, who may either have more experience in relationships or else pretend they do. It’s a big issue at your age, especially for men. But a few words of “wisdom” from someone considerably older than you. First, you don’t have to follow the pack. This applies not only to dating and relationships but other areas of life as well, such as your choice of vocation. Second, although some say life is short, remember too that life is a marathon, not a sprint. So take it easy and conserve your energy! There’s time enough for following your own moral principles.

My wife and I got married when we were 24, and we didn’t do anything more serious than kiss for the 2 years we were dating/engaged. I wouldn’t have it any other way. We’ve never had to worry about STDs, no pre-marital pregnancy scares, no illegitimate kids out there somewhere. None of that.

Stay strong. It’s worth it.

Sam, the Neon Orange Knight

Thanks for the advice. It’s one of the area’s of my life that I have been quite open on. I’ve been honest with people, it’s a contentious area of my life, but it’s been my decision so I stand by it.

Thanks for the advice, hopefully the path will be made clear with some more prayer.

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