No young people in the parish help?


#1

Hi i am a young person ,16 going on 17 and I just wanted to get some advice there are Young people in the parish that I can intract with becuase they come with there parents and leave straight afterwards and I would like a young person who isn’t dragged there becuase of there parents ! So I sit inbetween the old people which is okay but I’m struggling to get to known even the old people because i am new to the parish and the other parish in my area is exactly the same and I don’t know what todo becuase I go by myself and I do feel Lonley in a way, should I just stick it out and go untill I can afford to go to other parishes further afield or make do and accept there it ? Any ideas about what to do ? I know it’s about god and not all about the socialness but I am a sociable person so what do I do and I do feel at home with the church but not with any of the people ? I find it hard being young and in church.

Sorry if I’m ranting on
Love in Christ chuck


#2

Sounds like something to bring up to your youth pastor (if your church has one), or perhaps your priest.


#3

Hey Chuck, if your parish has an altar serving program, there are usually young people involved with that. My parish has a school where there are many young people! Bring it up to the pastor if you do not have a youth group.


#4

Hi Chuck,
Actually, I am some years older than you and I still go to mass with my parents/family. It’s not because I’m dragged there by them, but that they like to go as a family. If you want to get to know youth in your parish, join a youth group. If you find someone that you enjoy talking to, ask them if they would like to go to mass with you sometime. Also, if you wanted to talk with someone you saw with a family (I promise, they are not always dragged by parents to be there! :)) then, politely tap one of them on the shoulder as you are exiting mass and introduce yourself.


#5

Chuck, I seem to remember that you were thinking of RCIA. If I am right, and if you went ahead with this, ask one of the RCIA team what to do.


#6

I don’t know what youth ministry is like in your part of the world. Here in the US, at least in my diocese, youth activities are either suspended or hold only one or two events during the summer time. Activities/participation picks up again when the school year resumes in the fall.

Again, not sure about where you are, but my diocese has a youth minitry office that plans many activities throughout the school year for ALL the youth of the diocese as well as our parish has their own youth group activities. I’d start by talking to your priest and then also pursuing activities on the diocese level. If not many options are available, perhaps God is calling you to start a group or activities for your age group.


#7

Why do you need other people? At my OF Parish, I hardlybother with them and they hardly bother with me.


#8

Then how to you worship Jesus as a member of the Lords Family? We are supposed to love one another and not bothering with them to me is not joining in as a community as we do. :slight_smile:


#9

Re-read your post, it sounds very snarky and in addition, sad to most adult readers.

Developing friendships with other teenagers is an intregal part of learning how to be a caring and giving human being. We do not live in a vacuum where we only care about ourselves and our interests and concerns, + isn’t it nice to have someone to attend a movie with once in a while, or talk to about a personal problem? Lastly, if you ever plan on being a part of
any group, whether it be as a priest or in a workplace or, most importantly marry, then teenagers need friends and buddies, both male and female. :wink:

To the OP: Ask your parish priest about starting or restarting a youth group at your parish. It could be that a nearby parish might have more young people and I’m sure you would be welcome in their group too. Also, ask if there are any CYA groups in your town/city. Charity work is also a great way to meet other like-minded teenagers. If there is a homeless shelter in your area, sign up to work and you will meet many young people.


#10

You said in another thread that you are going to the Vigil Mass right now, and in every parish I have gone to, that is indeed, the Oldies’ Mass. :slight_smile: My sons, when they are home and can attend, are two of just a few young people - there are more greyhairs than any other group. I’m not sure why that is, but :shrug:

I don’t know if you can do anything else at this point but you could call the Parish office and see if there are any youth groups meeting. Sometimes there is a Life Teen Mass, and I DO NOT recommend those, because they are sometimes quite irreverent and heterodox, but they also have hang-outs afterward and maybe you could meet some other teens there.

Hang in there, try to be patient. You will soon be out on your own and can find a parish or a Mass that suits you better.


#11

I just re-read it and, though I didn’t find it to be snarky, I apologize it came across as such. May I ask, why is it sad to adult readers?

I think you misunderstood what I meant. I would rather have no friends then have friends of ill repute. No friends is at zero, while bad friends is like negative four. Though I refuse to associate myself with those of ill-repute, I still care about them and I do pray for them. And as I will go on to say below, I unite with them in a most intimate fashion during Mass. No matter what movie I go out to see, none of it will top that. As for personal problems, I leave that to Confession. Any advice my fellow teenagers(at least in my area) can give me would either be scandalous or referring me to a Priest.

Secondly, why did you say “most importantly marry”? I didn’t quite understand what you meant.

I suppose your right. I just like keeping to myself. Mostly. I don’t stay after at all and usually stay in the pew for a half hour. I am part of a community of prayer. I think that is the most intimate relationship I can have and I am thankful I have it. But as for staying after and chit chatting, I don’t do that. I do it at my EF Parish but thats because its pretty small that its hard not to bump into a few people. I love them, and unite myself with them during the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass. If that isn’t community, I don’t know the meaning of the word.

I keep to myself I suppose. I’m usually the only one who wears a suit to mass while allt he other gentlemen (including most of the older men) all wear shorts and t shirts. I feel out of place but I’m obstinate when it comes to apparal.


#12

Like you, I went with my mother to the Saturday evening Mass that was mainly adults and very few young people & kids went to it. But I did get to know many people as my mother got me involved with several church ministries & Scripture studies as at the time there was no youth/teen program, and some of the adults still know me to this day because of them even though I go to a different parish now & come sometimes to my childhood parish.

I hope you can find a chance to get together with other Catholic young people. Talk to your pastor and/or youth minister to find out what is available for young people, or if they have ideas how you can serve your community with other like minded people of your age group.


#13

#14

Just because teens come with their families doesn’t mean they are dragged there. Usually it just means that they are in the habit of attending Mass with their families. And often they continue doing family things on Sundays like visit grandparents or go out to lunch.

If your parish doesn’t have a youth/young adult program, or it isn’t active in the summer, contact your diocese. There may be activities at nearby parishes or diocesean-wide events you can attend to meet people your age.

Also, try attending Mass at different times, you may find that more teens attend a different Mass. I assume you are a new Catholic or new to this parish. Once school starts, you will probably start to recognize kids from your school at Mass. If you are a new Catholic, ask your sponsor or RCIA leader for ideas also.


#15

The girl that you will some day marry will be one of the girls from the gang that you hang out with at Church. If you don’t have a gang that you hang out with at Church, then the girl you would have married will never meet you, and you will most likely remain single for the rest of your life. Girls don’t fall out of Heaven, and they don’t just randomly walk up to boys who aren’t in their group.


#16

Well that’s fine. I intend to enter Seminary :o. I have no intention to court any of the girls at my church. In the past I considered one, but that ship has sailed. No, I am intent upon Seminary and I pray that God delivers me there. So it’s probably for the best that I don’t get tempted by any of the girls.


#17

Please forgive me, I don’t mean to double post but I just saw Kozlosap’s response and I feel that it’s important I respond.

[quote=kozlosap]What I meant was that you have to meet someone in order to marry and most often that happens when friends or companions introduce you to someone. I feel bad that you think so little of your fellow humans. How do you survive at school? As a teacher, I worry about students who do not develop relationships with others. I certainly don’t know any priests with your point of view on human discourse- if they did they could have never made it through the seminary, much less a doctorate in theology - in both cases you must work as part of cooperative groups and learn to trust your study mates. How could you ever counsel a member of your parish if you have never trusted?? I pray that when you go away to college that your horizons are opened and your heart is also softened. One piece of advise - helping those that you consider to be of " ill repute" might just turn around and lift your spirit too.
[/quote]

First off, thank you for your prayers and thank you for your kind words of advice.

I think clarification is still needed, I love everyone in my Parish. They are all fine individuals and fantastic, loyal Catholics I’m sure. I have no intention of marrying(in fact I sometimes avoid the thought like the plague). It is important to make clear that I do socialize. But I am confronted daily at school with such militant heresies. And yes, I do admonish the sinner and do my very best to counsel those who may not know better, but do I associate myself beyond that? Goodness no. I stay true to Balthasar Gracian’s words when he said: “Have naught to do with Occupations of Ill-repute, still less with fads that bring more notoriety than repute. There are many fanciful sects, and from all the prudent man has to flee. There are bizarre tastes that always take to their heart all that wise men repudiate; they live in love with singularity. This may make them well known indeed, but more as objects of ridicule than of repute. A cautious man does not even make profession of his wisdom, still less of those matters that make their followers ridiculous. These need not be specified, for common contempt has sufficiently singled them out.” it could be detrimental to my soul to be lured into it. I am often called upon to sin or to “let it go wild” before seminary. Most at school look at me as a Christian figure, and I like that. I like to do those things. And I’d love to hang out with them too, but at the expense of my own purity? Never.

Those at Church are no better. I know one fellow my age who has decided he wants to be a methodist cause its more “American”. Whatever that means. I am perfectly content with how I am. No problems and all is well.


#18

:blessyou:


#19

[SIGN]Bless you too![/SIGN]


#20

Many prayers for you, we need more young men to choose the priesthood as a vocation. :slight_smile:


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