[quote="Incomplete, post:6, topic:235650"]
But I do get the OPs point. If her husband is doing it most of the time, not just on occasion, I understand her not being happy about it.
Would it help to sit in front? And maybe more importantly, does he sleep well?
My priest pours out his heart in his homilies. He chooses every word carefully. From my daughter's position in the choir, I learned that people fall asleep at every Mass. That must be difficult for a priest to see. Our priest gives the best and most life-changing homilies I've ever heard, so it surprised me that this happens.
I do get it happening on occasion. Everyone has their days where to sit is to sleep! But frequent sleeping...it sounds like he's automatically tuning out the priest. And though the Holy Spirit could wake him, maybe Satan has something to do with him sleeping.
Have you expressed your concern? Does he care? If he doesn't, I'm not sure there's anything you can do except try to listen well yourself and try not to be annoyed (if you are).
Thank you so much to everyone for your input.
He works an average amount of hours each week, and he does sleep well most of the time.
We tried sitting closer to the front of the Church, but that didn't help either. I just felt more embarrassed because the Priest himself could clearly see his eyes shut from that close. He nods off during the homily more often than not - about 8 out of 10 times we go to Mass - for the past few years, and he doesn't care that it happens. Once he even joked when we were getting ready to leave for Mass that he "could use a good nap" there.
I've tried to express my concern as gently as I can about this as well as the Confession issue, but it only makes matters worse. I have often thought of doing as Kaizmom suggests and going without him until he can be more reverent, but I could never bring myself to do it because I've felt like satan would be happier if he weren't at Mass at all. He also will often cross his arms defensively in front of his chest during a good part of the Mass in a gesture which seems to me like he is tuning out what's being said and doesn't agree with much of it (but maybe that's just my imagination in interpreting it).
I've read that it's a duty of a spouse to try to assist the other in becoming closer to God and getting to Heaven, but I'm confused about how much to try when nothing seems to work and often only makes it worse. I keep praying for him - more so for the Confession issue than the sleeping.
Unfortunately he would never consider going with me to a Priest about this or anything of a personal nature. I've tried to get him to go about another prior issue in our marriage, but he refuses. He feels he can do no wrong, has no serious sins that would ever require Confession, and his opinion is always right.
God bless you all for your suggestions - I appreciate them!