The physical part of sex is too significant to ignore. Yes, most bodies are capable of performing sexual acts, but that’s not what I’m getting at. I’m talking about compatibility in terms of personal preference, not ability. Different people have different sexual appetites even though each is more than capable of actually doing all of them. Why gamble on that compatibility for an exclusive life long commitment if you don’t have to?
Also, why should sex be viewed as a final sign of commitment to that person when we already have marriage and/or personal vows taking care of that? I understand the argument is that if you save yourself for one person, the sex will be “better and special” when you lose your virginity to each other… but if you take a step back and actually think about it, that doesn’t make any sense. Especially for the girl… Sex SUCKS for the girl during the first 2 or 3 times. On top of that physical issue, sex takes experience to get really good at it. These reasons are why it is so common for people who have had sex a couple of times to joke about how much their first time sucked compared to their current sex life. I don’t see the appeal in having your honeymoon sex turn out like that.
Ignoring the most important aspect of physical compatibility (i.e. sex) is about as bad as ignoring any emotional or intellectual part of the relationship.
If you dont sleep with ANYONE before getting married, you are essentially gambling. Not only do you not know what you personally like, but you know nothing about your partner sexually.
Sex is a huge part of a successful marriage. Even assuming everything else about the marriage is great, can you imagine spending the rest of your life with someone who doesn’t satisfy you? Not just sexually, but in ANY area. Don’t even bother imagining that, because you wouldn’t–you’d get divorced.
Also, I am married.
So if you’re purposefully waiting for marriage you should probably have a good reason for it. For instance, religion.
How should I go about refuting these arguments? (One thing I have in mind is that sexual preference is preceded and necessarily formed by sexual experience.) There must be several secular arguments I can use to persuade someone (non-religious) to keep their virginity until marriage and I hope I can get some good input.