"non-traditional" family "members"


#1

First, I'm not talking "non-traditional" as in gay or whatnot. I'm talking non-traditional people such as friends who are like additional family members.

In my teen years (and now in my single life) I have a few friends that I consider family and can't think of not having in my life if I do ever get married.

Friend A- an entire family I consider them uncle/aunt and cousins. They live far away...and I send them gifts, talk on facebook, etc.

Friend B- a nun...she's my second mom

Friend C- a single guy who's like an uncle

Friend D- a married woman with a husband and son I don't know well...she's like an aunt.

These people are important to me especially considering the way my necular family acts.

I was just wondering how people carried their "non-traditional" friendships into marriage or dating lives. Do you integrate them in as realitives and accept them as such?

What happens to your "not a peer" single friends...weather they be older or younger (like a big brother/little brother sort of deal). Does gender still come into play?


#2

I think you may be over-thinking your situation. Just know that you are full of joy in the Lord. The way you express that joy is through your tolerance & love. Don’t get all nervous about the details, just go out and love. In this way, you can never do wrong.


#3

I agree. I have a similar situation I have always treated them as family the way I see it I just have extra family members. There is a friend that I've known almost my entire life and I call him Uncle Paul. For me the important part is the impact that person has on my life not what the DNA says. The people that care about you the most that's your real family some share your DNA others do not but that's what family really is all about.


#4

[quote="purplesunshine, post:1, topic:179584"]
First, I'm not talking "non-traditional" as in gay or whatnot. I'm talking non-traditional people such as friends who are like additional family members.

In my teen years (and now in my single life) I have a few friends that I consider family and can't think of not having in my life if I do ever get married.

Friend A- an entire family I consider them uncle/aunt and cousins. They live far away...and I send them gifts, talk on facebook, etc.

Friend B- a nun...she's my second mom

Friend C- a single guy who's like an uncle

Friend D- a married woman with a husband and son I don't know well...she's like an aunt.

These people are important to me especially considering the way my necular family acts.

I was just wondering how people carried their "non-traditional" friendships into marriage or dating lives. Do you integrate them in as realitives and accept them as such?

What happens to your "not a peer" single friends...weather they be older or younger (like a big brother/little brother sort of deal). Does gender still come into play?

[/quote]

Purple-

There is a famous song that says, "Wedding bells are breaking up that old gang of mine". It's often true, at least in a few cases I've seen. Some guys/girls, when they get married (even without kids) sometimes forget they have other friends. It's awkward.

Be sure to date guys who are ok with your being close to your "non-trad" friends.


#5

Pray on it and the Holy Spirit will let you know what the right things are just by the actions the people around you take. The best advice my df gave us was that when two are married it really is the two of you v. the world - best to know who comes first. :D


#6

I have my family of origin (biological) and my family of choice-includes the first group and those relationships important to me as those you've described.


#7

Trying to figure out what the issue could be? There will always be a family member/friend or two that your spouse won't like, but a HUGE warning flag should pop up if the person you are dating or engaged to is not like and doesn't like your family and friends. If they don't like the person you are dating, you need to take a real long look at that person. They aren't right for you.


#8

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