Not a good confirmation sponsor?


I have been trying to find something to do to be more active in my parish, so I asked about being part of the RCIA team. I went to the "team member" meeting last month in which they discussed ideas for the coming year as well as potential members of the parish who might be good confirmation sponsors for those who don't have someone already in mind. One name was mentioned and the DRE said something to the effect of, "She's no good. She has too many anxiety issues." The others laughed and joked about her.

This statement hurt me in two ways. First, these people don't really know me, so they don't know that I suffer from anxiety. I have a great medication that helps, as do certain changes to my diet, so most people would never guess that I have anxiety. I felt completely worthless and wondered how they would feel about me if they knew about my anxiety issues. Second, there is the fact that the person they mentioned is also a very good friend of mine. I know that she has anxiety issues, to the point that she cannot hold a full-time job and works a part-time job and is a freelance writer. However, she is probably one of the most faithful and devout Catholics I know and is a great example of how to live one's life trusting in God.

My question is, is this enough to keep her from being a confirmation sponsor? What if a candidate had asked her to be their sponsor on their own, would they refuse to let her? Should I mention this to our pastor?

I'm not sure that I even want to continue with the RCIA team because of how they treated my friend behind her back and because of my anxiety of how they will view me (and ridicule me) if they ever find out about my medical condition.


[quote="Rosary_Girl, post:1, topic:330510"]

My question is, is this enough to keep her from being a confirmation sponsor?



[quote="Rosary_Girl, post:1, topic:330510"]
What if a candidate had asked her to be their sponsor on their own, would they refuse to let her?


No. "They" have no authority to do so.

[quote="Rosary_Girl, post:1, topic:330510"]
Should I mention this to our pastor?


I think it is important to discuss with the pastor the inappropriateness of an employee/representative of the parish discussing, criticizing, and making disparaging comments about parishioners in that manner. If the DRE cannot conduct herself in a professional and charitable manner, she should not be in her position.


Regardless of the position of these people, it is inappropriate to take it to the Pastor without taking the issue first to the individuals.

The proper Catholic approach to a situation like this can be found in Matthew18:15-17.

peace and all good!


I suffer with generalized anxiety and panic disorder. I am not only a Confirmation sponsor to four people but I am a religious education teacher for junior high and high school (Confirmation). I do believe that your DRE is misinformed and needs to be evaluated for her position. You could mention this to your pastor but you might want to check out another parish for RE ministry. This is another example how ignorance can put a damper on those who are fervent in ministry. Remember that God is in charge and He will put you where you are needed. This may not necessarily be detrimental since it could be God's way of moving you someplace else. It's really too bad that your DRE acted this way since most people with anxiety are the most compassionate and responsible people around. Oh well, you learned a lot from this and it is a humbling experience. God bless you and never give up...............teachccd


I too suffer with anxiety problems as part of my depression. I believe these types of problems are not so rare in this day and age so people who are lucky to be in better health should be more sympathetic.

First I wouldn't tell your friend what they said and still encourage her to be a sponsor and you as well if you are keen. If this is a one off response from the DRE I personally would try and put it behind me as I would feel uncomfortable about approaching her about this specifically but try to find some way to bring up the fact they we can get treatment and are able function adequately.

I hope this helps.


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