Not allowed confession until convalidation


I was told I can’t receive confession and communion until convalidation. I understand the communion part, but I don’t get the confession part. Especially since I was told to go to confession prior to the convalidation so I could receive the Eucharist at the ceremony/mass. What does it matter whether it’s two weeks or two months prior? Also I went to confession a year ago without knowing this, was that not valid then?


Perhaps the priest also discussed chastity/abstinence with you as well? That part of the conversation, if it was present, could affect your answer.


Congratulations on working towards your convalidation!
Are you talking confession or absolution?
It’s this way–if a person is currently in a state of sin, and is not sorry, and has no intention of stopping, then they can’t be absolved.
:pray:t2::pray:t2::pray:t2:for you on this journey!!!


Told by whom?

I imagine this is related to whether or not you and your spouse will abstain until the convalidation.


The couselor told us this. We are abstaining, living as roommates basically lol.


The only person who can tell you that you can or cannot confess is the priest in the confessional. Not a counselor or the church secretary or anyone.

You are abstaining, which is typically all that is required to resume the sacramental life both confession and Eucharist until convalidation.

Talk to your pastor.


Definitely talk to your pastor/priest about this topic, since you are abstaining. It is he who can tell you how to proceed here, not a counselor.


Thanks for the responses, I really want to go to confession since it’s been a while, I feel a little better about going now


Yes! Pish and Posh! Confession is open to all catholics at all times. Even if you are in a situation where continual sin is on the horizon, think about the addicted alcoholic. So, the alcoholic knows when he gets drunk, it takes away his ability to control sin and he doesn’t like it. Doesn’t like to be drunk, but has an addiction problem. When he goes into the confessional, he is, at that time, absolutely contrite about his drunkeness, how can the priest not see he is truly sorry for his sins? Absolution, forgiveness, kindness, mercy. Though the drunk knows that at a future time, the probability of him getting inebriated to the point where he can’t control his better faculties, he was sorry and is sorry at the time of the confession.

For your reported case, if you are living as brother and sister, that’s you practicing the virtue of chastity. Confession is open. In the event that the chastity is broken, fix it by going to confession!

And, as for the eucharist, why not? It’s the pinnacle and summit of our catholic faith. If you are living as chaste “brother and sister”, practicing the sacraments by going to confession … how is your soul not clean and how is it that you are not in union with God? He wants us to be in union as much as we can.

I was in a natural marriage, got mine convalidated, and working on a sacramental marriage as my wife is currently in RCIA. I think it’s worth the time to grill your counselor and ask for verification of what he is telling you. If not, I’d go to the deacon, vicor, or pastor and get the skinny from the authorities.


There’s a difference between “there’s a probability that I’ll fall into this sin again” and “I fully intend to sin in this way again.” The possibility for absolution exists in the former case, but not the latter.

Generally speaking, couples in objectively invalid marriages fall into the latter case, and therefore, cannot be given absolution. The ‘pastoral solution’ of “living as brother and sister” is what may make absolution possible. However, it is not something that a couple can decide upon on their own; their pastor must offer the possibility, if he believes that it is something that is possible for them and will not result in the sin of scandal.

So, it fits in this case. However, in general, (as you seem to be implying), it does not fit.

Well… not “working on it”, then… just “waiting for it,” since it’ll be sacramental automatically just as soon as your wife is baptized!

Good advice…!


May God bless and help you both through this challenging period.


very well said Gorgias :grinning:


If that is the case then maybe you should goto confession, explain your situation to the priest and do what he says instead of that ‘counselor.’


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