Not allowed to serve anymore?


#1

Hello,
I have a big problem. One year ago, I started to serve all the masses at my parish. I served everyday, weekday masses, sunday masses, special masses, weddings, and funerals. Recently, my priest told me that a new altar server schedule will be made. I am no longer allowed to serve all the Sunday masses. He only wants me serving the masses I am scheduled for. He says I can still serve on weekdays. My next scheduled day is like 3 weeks away. ;( When I found out about this, I was very hurt. I've given so much to the church, and altar serving is my life. It is now being taken away from me. Father doesn't seem to realize that this is bugging me. On Sunday, I tried to ask him why he was doing this. He said he wanted to balance out the altar serves and he wanted them to equally participate. he thinks that my presence will affect whether or not people step up. I don't think it will. None of the servers have a problem with me, and we don't have that many. On sunday we also got in some fights, and I was very mean to him. I was sorry and went to confession. We did make up but he said he wants me in the pews until further notice. So I am still not allowed to serve until he says so. Its been 3 days since my confession. I miss it so bad, I may have to go to another parish. I grew up in this church though, and I wish Father would change his mind about the whole thing, but it doesn't look like he is going to. I pray that one day I can once again serve every mass. Im more than willing to do it. What do you guys think? Is he wrong? Am I wrong? What should be my next move?


#2

Yeah I really don’t know what to say. I can however give you my take on it. I’ve been of service also for some time now, sometimes I have to step back and let others or newer people get a chance on serving. Humility through humiliation.

I really do enjoy seeing new people getting envolved so now I minister the homesick or those that are in hopitals. What a great feeling I get in passing the Holy
eucharists to the sick my mother being one of them.
You should see the way their eyes light up when receiveing communion.

One of the best things I like about the Catholic church is all the different fields of service there is.

I’ll pray to the holy spirit to guide you.

God bless

jesus g


#3

I hope you’ll think of the gift you’ll be giving others, who likely will value the opportunity to serve in much the same way you do. Think of it as a gift; maybe you can take an active role in giving them some encouragement when you see them at masses. Also, why not talk to your priest about other ways you can serve your parish? Maybe this is a chance to keep your faith alive by changing things up a bit?


#4

[quote="AltarServer1, post:1, topic:329050"]
Hello,
I have a big problem. One year ago, I started to serve all the masses at my parish. I served everyday, weekday masses, sunday masses, special masses, weddings, and funerals. Recently, my priest told me that a new altar server schedule will be made. I am no longer allowed to serve all the Sunday masses. He only wants me serving the masses I am scheduled for. He says I can still serve on weekdays. My next scheduled day is like 3 weeks away. ;( When I found out about this, I was very hurt. I've given so much to the church, and altar serving is my life. It is now being taken away from me. Father doesn't seem to realize that this is bugging me. On Sunday, I tried to ask him why he was doing this. He said he wanted to balance out the altar serves and he wanted them to equally participate. he thinks that my presence will affect whether or not people step up. I don't think it will. None of the servers have a problem with me, and we don't have that many. On sunday we also got in some fights, and I was very mean to him. I was sorry and went to confession. We did make up but he said he wants me in the pews until further notice. So I am still not allowed to serve until he says so. Its been 3 days since my confession. I miss it so bad, I may have to go to another parish. I grew up in this church though, and I wish Father would change his mind about the whole thing, but it doesn't look like he is going to. I pray that one day I can once again serve every mass. Im more than willing to do it. What do you guys think? Is he wrong? Am I wrong? What should be my next move?

[/quote]

If you are as obsessed as you sound with altar serving you are paying too much attention to that. It is a wonderful gift to be able to serve the Lord and your community in that way, but it is only one small part of offering our whole lives to God. Listen to your pastor. Offer up your suffering in this. And if it really causes you that much suffering you may need a good counselor to help you understand why. If you are trying to glorify yourself by "serving at every Mass" that is a real spiritual problem. If you are serving at Mass all the time instead of looking for other ways to serve God, that is also a spiritual problem. If you are simply fixated on this, can't imagine doing anything else with your time, you may have deeper emotional problems that you need help with.


#5

It's time for the others to serve, don't get angry. See it as sharing the pleasant times you've had as a server with them.


#6

I feel like Father did the right thing. Everyone needs to be balanced out in order to make everyone happy. I mean, in order to be a server at a church, you need go actually serve, right? It's not fair if I'm a server, and I haven't served in so many months, and I see you serving every Mass. It's not equal or fair when you serve every Mass, and the others are always sitting in the pews. I used to be on the altar every week until we got new servers, and I am very happy to sit back in the pews and let the new people enjoy their time up there.

I feel like you should trust Father and respect his decision, as he is trying to make the best decision for everyone.


#7

When we serve God,** humility** and obedience are important. It should never be "what I like to do", but "what is the best for the parish and for others". Only concentrating on what you like is serving yourself.

To be very mean to the priest and fight for what you like seems self-centered. It is good you have gone to confession.

I think the priest made a right decision. By all means you ought to respect the priest's decision. After all he is the Pastor.


#8

Pride. Confess it.


#9

It is extremely important that you not serve every week, every day or every Mass. Sometimes you, and all of us, need to just sit in the pew and receive. If you give all of the time and never allow yourself to receive, then eventually you will burn out. And usually you don't know it's happened until after it has happened. When you are an altar server, your focus is on what is happening on the altar and your participation in it. By that I mean, to put it in theatrical terms, making sure you hit your marks and pick up your cues. And that is important. But when you are focusing on that, you aren't giving total focus to the miracle that is happening on the altar.

Even priests don't serve every single Mass 365 days a year. Even when there is only one priest at a parish, they are required to go on retreat and also they take much needed vacations. During those times, they don't serve, rather they are served.

Personally. I would say a good balance would be once a month, for Sundays, at maybe once a week during the week. The rest of the time, allow others to be blessed by serving you, just as you are blessed by serving them.

It sounds life Father is trying to bring some much needed balance into your life. When you, when any of us, are so busy doing, it becomes difficult if not impossible to hear the still small voice of God (see 1 Kings 19). Remember, St. Martha was serving all the time, yet Jesus said St. Mary had chosen the better part when she choose to sit at the feet of Jesus and listen.
I pray God will guide you through this transition.
Kris


#10

[quote="AltarServer1, post:1, topic:329050"]
Hello,
I have a big problem. One year ago, I started to serve all the masses at my parish. I served everyday, weekday masses, sunday masses, special masses, weddings, and funerals. Recently, my priest told me that a new altar server schedule will be made. I am no longer allowed to serve all the Sunday masses. He only wants me serving the masses I am scheduled for. He says I can still serve on weekdays. My next scheduled day is like 3 weeks away. ;( When I found out about this, I was very hurt. I've given so much to the church, and altar serving is my life. It is now being taken away from me. Father doesn't seem to realize that this is bugging me. On Sunday, I tried to ask him why he was doing this. He said he wanted to balance out the altar serves and he wanted them to equally participate. he thinks that my presence will affect whether or not people step up. I don't think it will. None of the servers have a problem with me, and we don't have that many. On sunday we also got in some fights, and I was very mean to him. I was sorry and went to confession. We did make up but he said he wants me in the pews until further notice. So I am still not allowed to serve until he says so. Its been 3 days since my confession. I miss it so bad, I may have to go to another parish. I grew up in this church though, and I wish Father would change his mind about the whole thing, but it doesn't look like he is going to. I pray that one day I can once again serve every mass. Im more than willing to do it. What do you guys think? Is he wrong? Am I wrong? What should be my next move?

[/quote]

Your next move?

I would say it's always spiritually healthy to put one's ego on the back burner and submit to being humble.

From your post, I think that you should think of that as being your "next move". :)


#11

What do you guys think? Is he wrong? Am I wrong? What should be my next move?

I cut and moved around what you posted.

What should you do?

You should do what your pastor said. Sit in the pews.

No, he isn't wrong. Yes, you are.

[quote="AltarServer1, post:1, topic:329050"]
We did make up but he said *he wants me in the pews until further notice. *

[/quote]


#12

Just remember (as others said) humility and obedience. And just think, maybe Gods got an even greater oppurtunity waiting on you!!


#13

You still are allowed to serve the weekday masses. A mass is a mass. It is nice to see that you like to serve but you have the weekday masses even tho not the sunday masses.

I think you can see that if you like to serve that others too would also like to serve? So isn't it charity that we also think of others and allow them to be close to the alter where we offer Jesus to the Father?

But you are to be complimented on your faithfullness and loyalty.

Ask your blessed Mother Mary to help you to understand.

Just some good wishes.

"Christians, let us love one another, as we share the true living bread." (hymn)


#14

This is outrageous.:mad: Call up the bishop and have your priest excommunicated.:eek:

I used to be a Lutheran. I was only one of two altar servers at the church. Since the other altar server practically never came to church, I had to serve all the time. Sometimes, my pastor would not let me serve and would have a member of the congregation help, since I was practically never with my family during church. Being with God is important, but being with your family is important too. Your family might miss worshiping with you. When you’re altar-serving all the time, your family might get lonely, since you’re never with them worshiping.


#15

There are plenty of ways to serve. You could volunteer to wash the altar linens instead.


#16

he thinks that my presence will affect whether or not people step up.

It’s not that you are bothering anyone, but that others will think that there is little need for them to step up if they think there are no “spaces” to be filled because you are filling so many.

Your dedication is admirable but now your priest wants you to re-direct it. Pray or ask your priest about this.


#17

I suspect your priest is doing this out of concern for you. You mentioned that your priest wanted you to serve only when he has scheduled you, which indicates you show up to serve even when you're not on the schedule. But priests have a schedule for a reason.

There is no reason to serve at every Mass. Your priest might well see that you need time to really worship as a parishioner, worship with the congregation and completely focus on what liturgy is and learn to love it without having to serve.

If your desire to serve is so great that you are considering another parish, even though you will still be able to serve at yours, that does indicate a problem. I suspect your priest is doing this in your best interests.

To obey your priest and not try to go around him by going to another parish is a way for you to show God how much you love Him.


#18

It's also important to remember that serving is a privilege, not a right.


#19

i was going to ask “how old are you” ,but it doesn’t matter.grow up :rolleyes:


#20

We serve our LORD first, trust Him to guide you and accept this with humility giving all to Jesus. Pray for your priest and all those you serve as we know that our service is to Him and our neightbor as is love. Blessings to you as you grow in your faith in Him!

mlz


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