My wife and I began attending Mass some time around June 2008…then we began RCIA together in August and were both Confirmed and received into full communion at the Easter Vigil in April 2009.
So for us, it was about ten months of Sunday Masses without being able to receive Christ in the Eucharist.
Like you, I longed for Christ. I understood why I was not able to receive, and agreed with the doctrine (and even defended it in conversation with ‘open communion’ Protestant family and friends)…but on some emotional level I hated sitting there in the pews while almost everybody else went up and received.
As others have pointed out, you can and should engage in a prayerful spiritual communion. I know this is a poor substitute for receiving Christ – body, blood, soul, and divinity – but it can still be very beneficial as you prepare to receive the Sacraments. Personally, my prayers during communion time helped strengthen my faith and my resolve to ‘go through with it’ no matter what my Protestant family and friends had to say :).
Each spiritual communion I made got me that much closer to a full, complete belief in the Real Presence, and made me that much more prepared to finally receive at the Easter Vigil.
I know it’s frustrating. Trust me, I’ve been there. The wait is worth it
God bless you!