Not feeling absolved after confession


#1

So I went to confession yesterday. Im the kind of person that needs to write everything down on a piece of paper so I wont forget what to say during confession because I tend to get nervous very easily when it comes to telling the priest about my sins and forgetful because of it. I dont plan on being nervous, im actually very calm and collected prior too but just as soon as I walk into the confessional booth all that calmness flees from me and i start getting sweaty palms. I feel like every time I confess my sins my heart and soul are not in it and all that im focused on is getting the written words out verbally no matter how bland it may sound. I truly care about being forgiven my god for my sins otherwise I wouldnt be there and I try my best but it always turns out this way so I dont feel like I am absolved of anything.

Does god judge weather or not you are forgiven based on how you conduct yourself in confession?


#2

No. contrition and attrition aren’t based on an emotional sorrow expressed during Confession. If it was, I’d never be absolved, as the only thing I can do in Confession is rattle off my list of sins, and an Act of Contrition before I have an anxiety attack. It’s normal to not “feel absolved”. It’s a test in faith. Catholicism isn’t a faith based on how it makes you feel.


#3

I take a list with me too. I feel very nervous before, during, and even after-- if you can believe that:rolleyes:

It has nothing to do with how you feel. You are absolved when the priest says “I absolve you”


#4

I can relate...I too struggle with how I am "supposed" to feel....recently I have confessed off the list and was wondering, where is my contrition? Do I really feel sorry for these sins; I am just reading them off a paper!
But right after confession, actually the whole day after and even today, I really feel my contrition, sorrow, and disgust for these sins. I think its better to genuinely feel something rather than trying to force it.


#5

For Heaven’s sake what sort of image do you have of God ?

God isn’t some sort of monster waiting to catch us out at the first opportunity .

Reflect on Jesus’ teachings about the Father .

Read the parable of the Prodigal Son .

God sees your weaknesses and struggles and the damaged lives we all have , and HE LOVES YOU AND ALL OF US .

So trust Him .


#6

Don't focus on the emotions and sentimentality. If it's there then great! But I'd venture to say for all of us, that there is at least some time that we don't "feel" it. That doesn't mean that we're not having a religious experience. Embrace your faith and know that the merciful Lord has absolved you. Don't try to fake the feeling; you would just be lying to yourself. The cathartic moments happen spontaneously. If you still feel guilty, remember that the Lord has forgiven you. If you feel as though you have not done enough to forgive yourself, try to give yourself some penance. Maybe abstain from meat for a day. Try praying a rosary. There are lots of things you can do, but just remember that it is impossible to pray too much. :thumbsup:


#7

[quote="holyghost, post:4, topic:286707"]
I can relate...I too struggle with how I am "supposed" to feel....recently I have confessed off the list and was wondering, where is my contrition? Do I really feel sorry for these sins; I am just reading them off a paper!
But right after confession, actually the whole day after and even today, I really feel my contrition, sorrow, and disgust for these sins. I think its better to genuinely feel something rather than trying to force it.

[/quote]

The act of contrition that I was taught (there are many forms) is:O my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended Thee, and I detest all my sins, because of thy just punishments, but most of all because they offend Thee, my God, Who are all-good and deserving of all my love. I firmly resolve, with the help of Thy grace, to sin no more and to avoid the near occasion of sin. Amen.

Here is "because of thy just punishments" which is imperfect contrition, and is sufficient. One does need the intention to sin no more, even though still attached to sin (i.e., like the thought of doing the sin again) and the intention to avoid situations shows that.


#8

[quote="arkwright, post:5, topic:286707"]
For Heaven's sake what sort of image do you have of God ?

God isn't some sort of monster waiting to catch us out at the first opportunity .

Reflect on Jesus' teachings about the Father .

Read the parable of the Prodigal Son .

God sees your weaknesses and struggles and the damaged lives we all have , and HE LOVES YOU AND ALL OF US .

So trust Him .

[/quote]

This says it nicely. God knows your nervous and that you are sorry. So by going through confession you are absolved.


#9

It’s funny, I am always nervous right up until confession, but as soon as I step into confession and kneel, it all goes away. I am no longer nervous, I don’t even think about the words, they just come. I don’t take a list, I make a list before and review it before, but I don’t read it in there, I think that would make me concentrate on the list, and not the confession, but that is me, I get distracted easily.

But anyway, confession is not based on emotional feelings, so do not worry.


#10

You don't have to feel anything. The sacraments "work" regardless of how you feel. You can have contrition for your sins without a remorseful feeling.

You said this: "I truly care about being forgiven my god for my sins otherwise I wouldnt be there..."

And that's true. The fact of your presence is evidence of your contrition. When the priest absolves you, ALL your sins are forgiven.


#11

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