I am discerning a vocation to the religious life, but sometimes I doubt if it is true. I know I am special because God made me, but I don’t know what makes me special to do God’s Will over anyone else. I know there are many wonderful religious women who haven’t have apparitions from Our Lord or Our Blessed Mother, and they were still amazingly instrumental in God’s plan, but I just don’t see myself being special enough to do that. I suppose I am struggling with seeing why God is really calling me; however, I am completely open to the call. I think this struggle leads me to push away thoughts of the religious life. I don’t research it, and I don’t pursue learning about it because it is a mix between fear and not feeling like I’m special enough for it to happen.
I don’t want this to come off as a self-pity post because I know that I am worthy of whatever God’s calling me to do. I am curious to see if anyone has an advice on the next step to take in my spiritual and discernment journey.
I have asked my favorite priest to be my spiritual director, and (to my delight!) he said yes! However, I haven’t met with him yet. I am also doing and online retreat that has started to get me thinking a bit more about my possible vocation.
Thank you for your time, and your response! I greatly appreciate it!