Not handling family stresses very well

Hi all

I’m expecting a baby in a few days time, my third, and as happened with the last 2 my mother , who is prone to problems with her nerves (and who unfortunately I have never had a close bond with because she told me she got "bored"looking after me from 3 weeks old and left me with my nana) has started to show signs of nervous agitation again. I get hung up on nearly every call she makes to me - without me saying anything. I go out of my way to be charitable to her, and instead get given a lecture on some new random thing every day, then the phone hangs up. The nearer I get to the birth, the worse it gets. I’m coping badly. Hormones, everything feels like it is getting on top of me. My father - absent for most of my childhood who messed up my teenage years very badly for other reasons - is no help. My husband, I’m not even sure what’s going on there - I’m staying with him because I love him and I value the sacrament of marriage though I get the impression he would leave me at the drop of a hat.

I just at the moment feel the cross is weighing me down and I’m not strong enough to carry it. I pray so much, so so much, but I feel so alone at the moment. Please pray that I feel Jesus helping me carry this cross, that the birth goes well, that I remain as charitable as I should be through all of this fog.


Merciful Father, hear trials’ intentions, and bless with love her family and all those involved in her life.

Divine Infant, at Your entrance into the world You proclaimed peace, and You are pleased to be called the Prince of Peace. You know the strife and discord in my house, among my relatives. Especially N.N. You know how loveless and discontented we are with one another, how much strife, enmity, discord, rule in the midst of us, and how many sins we commit against the love of our neighbor. This is a truly sad Life! Where shall I turn if not to You. O Peace-loving Infant Jesus! You have reunited those divided against one another, reconciled enemies, and given peace to troubled souls. Give us, I beseech You, the precious gift of peace. This I beg of You through the love and harmony You shared with Joseph and Mary. Come to our aid, that all passions may be stilled, and that peace and harmony may return to me and N.N., that so we may deserve to be called Children of God. Amen.

For your own protection, can you leave the phone on the answering service or whatever. It is not okay for a mother to be not just unsupportive, but destructive.
You don’t need unnecessary stress, and your husband doesn’t need his wife to be continually stressed because she is stressed about her mother’s strange, inconsiderate and unhelpful phone calls. You need to protect yourself and your unborn baby.

Accepting these abusive daily calls conveys to her that what she is doing is okay. It isn’t. It is psychological abuse. You are a victim of abuse. May God help you respectfully to choose not to be and also not to own the consequences of not being your mother’s victim. :slight_smile: May God give you strength.
Clearly your mother has psychological problems, and allowing her to make them yours is no good to either of you,
and no good for your marriage, and your peace and coping as a mother.

She hurt you in childhood and you are still allowing her to hurt you.
She is not behaving like a loving mother and her personal attacks are undermining your health, your peace, and possibly your family and marriage.

Can you ask your doctor what help you can receive to help you to detach wisely and firmly yet not unkindly from this harmful relationship and try to help you make your interactions with her more healthy.

We all know, the command to honor your father and your mother. But parents have a responsibility to be real parents.
Not everyone remembers that the bible also teaches
Colossians 3:21 " Fathers,** do not exasperate your children, that they may not lose heart**."
It goes equally for mothers. Your mother is exasperating you, endangering your mental and emotional health and possibly your marriage in which you evidently feel insecure, and possibly making it more difficult to be patient with your children and it’s not okay. Please remove from her the power to do this. You say she did the same before your other babies’ birth.
Your focus is your husband, your children, and yourself as child of God, as wife, as mother.

It is easy to say such things from the outside. You sound a gentle person and I ask God to give you wisdom , strength, and peace.
I ask God to protect your physical, mental, and emotional health.
I ask God to protect and help your marriage to grow in communication, love, unity and peace, and that you will be able to be the best wife and mother you can manage with His grace.
God’s loving blessings to you and your family. God grant you friendship and loving support.

Apologies, I didn’t check to see this was in Prayer Intentions, not in family life, having found the thread through the Search facility.
The moderator can remove the above post if she wishes
My prayers, in any case.

Our Father, which art in Heaven
Hollowed be thy name
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done
On earth as it is in Heaven

Give us this day, our daily bread
And forgive us our trespasses
As we forgive those who trespass against us

Lead us not into temptation
But deliver us from evil

Hail Mary, full of grace
The Lord is with thee
Blessed art thou amongst women
And blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus

Holy Mary, Mother of God
Pray for us sinners
Now and at the hour of our deaths

Glory be to The Father, The Son and The Holy Spirit
As it was in the beginning, is now and ever shall be
World without end

Hail Mary,
Full of Grace,
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit
of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of our death.

May our Lord hear and answer your prayers. May the Blessed Virgin Mary help ease your suffering and give you the strength and peace you need to persevere in faith and in every good work. May you have a safe delivery and find joy to replace your heavy feelings. May our Lord help you to be patient and loving with those you find most difficult. May you be surrendered to our Lord’s holy will and aabandoned to his divine providence. May our Lord help you to offer up your suffering co-redemptively and help you to carry your cross heroically. Amen.

May the Lord Jesus Christ give you all the graces and strengthes that you are in most need of during this time. Amen.

Hail Mary, full of grace,
the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit
of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners,
now and at the hour of our death.

May the perfect and holy will of God be done.

May God’s holy will be done. Amen.

Praying my heart out for you.

May the most just, the most lovable, and the most high Will of God be done, be fulfilled, be praised and exalted in all things forever. Amen.

***Hail Mary,
Full of Grace,
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit
of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of death.
Amen ***

May the perfect and holy Will of God be done. Amen.

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