Not sure if I want my marriage to survive any more.
I feel not comfortable living with her
about 3 months I do not talk with my wife .
For years I have had problem with her.
Some times I ask God to make this separation time longer so that I can live in peace . we are living in a big house I just go to my room . The same house with two kids how ever I am all by myself.
I am tired of her so much. her voice , her presence, even sex with her has become a big burden, what so ever coming from her side hurts me.
The only reason that I do not go for divorce is that
I do not want to be deprived of God’s grace.
God is the only reason I am still staying with her.
I am sacrificing my life because I love Jesus and I want
to follow him. but Jesus wants me to love not to hate so
I am trying to forgive her and force myself to love
perhaps that is the reason I am here and am asking for a sort of prayer. am not sure what I want.
If there is any way I can get rid of her, forget her, and not to see her in my life while I can still stay in my faith please pray for that first.
Second. If the first one is not possible please pray for a miracle that hearts will change.
But at the end this post is not so important and I am sure in this world there are a lot of people who need your prayer so do not care much.
I have mixed feelings and confused.
But I am right now happy,
God loves me so much and he know I will try my best to follow his command , If she asks for forgiveness and humbles herself
I have to forgive her and start again.
but I need still some more beautiful time without her.