I have to confess my own sin,but in order to do so I have to mention the sin(s) of my spouse. Is it okay to say a “family member” rather than spouse so as not to reveal the sins of another person? Maybe a “close family member”? The thing is, my sin involves something I did against my husband and don’t we have more of an obligation to do better by our spouse than to other family members? I mean, does it make a sin worse if you’ve committed it against your husband? I’m trying to confess everything I need to confess in order for my confession to be good. I don’t want to hold anything back from the Lord; yet, I’ve gotten myself into a very unique situation, where I’m afraid if I reveal the identity of the other person, it could be a serious sin. That’s my dilemma, and I’m agonizing over it.
I don’t understand how confessing your sin would require you to tell of someone else’s sin.
Just say “***I ***did this, this & this” and leave it at that. If the priest wants more, he will ask.
One of the EWTN priests said it is never acceptable to come to confession to mention the sins of someone else. I agee with the above poster, Just confess what you did and let the priest take it from there.
Do not agonize over this. Talk with your priest. I’ve noticed many of your threads seem to involve you agonizing over whether something is sinful. Have you talked to your priest about scrupulosity?
I, too, am a bit confused as to how you’d need to be revealing your husband’s sins. When I confess my sins against my wife, I do say that it is my wife who I have sinned against. But I don’t mention her sins. There are times that I have be tempted to mention her sins as it would provide context (and an excuse :p) for my sins. But I try to not to offer excuses in the Confessional.
Even if the sin involved someone else, your confession is only about your individual sins.
Examples: You and your husband commit a bank robbery. Both committed the sin, but in the confessional you would say, “I robbed a bank.” The other person is not mentioned because you are taking the responsibility of your own actions in that sin. Of course in the case of adultery, another person would have to be included for this sin. However again in the confessional you would say, “I committed adultery”, and there is no mention of who the other person is.
So when would it be important to confess that you had sinned against your husband/wife, and when does it not matter?
I don’t think anyone is saying that sinning against your spouse “does not matter.” But your question was about also revealing the sins of your spouse – that’s what posters are saying you don’t need to do.
When it comes to things like being impatient or resentful or saying something mean, I would generally specify if it was my wife rather than just some random person. But again, this doesn’t really reveal any of my wife’s sins.
Yes, my confessor has recommended “Scrupulous Anonymous” newsletter, which I do get every month. I know my question was confusing…I just didn’t feel like I could post “particulars”. After much prayer to Jesus, the Blessed Mother, and to St. Jude I was able to find a way to mention only my OWN sins and not make any excuses for what I did. And that’s really it in a nutshell: I did something against my husband, not the other way around.
That is good that you found a way. I will pray for the grace of a good Confession for you.
Very good. That is what I do. Just state the sin as simply as possible giving number of times if necessary.Occasionally, the priest will ask questions then you may add what detail might be needed.