I am really confused whether or not I should receive the Eucharist at Christmas Eve Mass. I was searching for a list of factors that made a sin venial instead of mortal. I was afraid of what the list was because my mother told me that I had to go to receive the Holy Eucharist tomorrow, and if I committed a mortal sin I would be very anxious. I forced myself to look on the internet even though I was afraid that I had. I didn’t want to find anything because of fear that I had committed mortal sin. I didn’t want to feel this way because I feared that it would be a sin because I wished to be ignorant of the law even though I didn’t want to feel this way. So, would that be a mortal sin in itself even though I didn’t want to feel that way? Please help.
To be in “mortal sin” 3 things need to happen-
- The sin must be “grave matter”
- You must know that the sin is “grave matter”
- You must willingly choose to commit the sin.
If all 3 of these do not apply, you are not in mortal sin and can receive Communion.
I didn’t want to feel that way, so does that mean that I did not give full consent to commit the sin?
Looking up something on the internet (unless maybe it’s porn) is not “grave matter”, so I am not sure why you think it is a sin.
Mortal sin= grave matter, full knowledge, & full intent.
If you’re not conscious of any mortal sins, you’re probably in good shape. But if you’re really anxious about receiving communion, examine your conscience. If something surfaces, you can always go to confession. You may need to call the priest and make an appointment, but I haven’t yet had a priest turn me down when I asked for ten minutes of his time to hear my confession.
Make a good act of contrition, plan to get to confession ASAP and then put a cookie in your pocket and eat it on the way to Mass-oops, cannot receive. (perfect excuse to ‘see’ the Priest before Mass to ask for a dispensation from the 1 hour fast and also a quick confession. , if that is possible. You are NOT required to receive the Blessed Sacrament on Christmas, but one should refrain from correcting one’s mother on this.
Trust in the Mercy of God.
That would be good advice if the OP had committed a mortal sin or if he were not suffering from scrupulosity, but as such, it only muddles and confuses this matter of conscience, that should be between the OP and a competent priest.