I guess it’s about time that I ask for help. Let me start of by saying that I try to live the Catholic faith to the best of my ability - I go to Church/Confession, I study apologetics, I listen to Catholic Answers every day, etc.
I’ve tried to be patient, but I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I don’t think I’m exaggerating things when I say I’ve never really felt my faith. I know we’re not supposed to get warm fuzzies, but I guess I’m just trying to emphasize the point that, while I intellectually accept all that the Church teaches, I can’t say that I know it to be true in my heart. I don’t doubt the Church’s authority, but I’m not sure if I’ve never been free of doubts on any Christian doctrine.
I want to know that God is there, but I always find myself think that maybe He isn’t. I want to believe that the Saints hear my prayers, but part of me is always telling me that they don’t. I want to experience the graces that Jesus gives in the Eucharist, but I sit in silent contemplation, waiting to feel a peace that never comes over me. I know doubts are normal, but this has been going on for years now.
Is this something that everyone goes through? I’m finding it very tough to keep going at this point. I know Jesus said that those who do not see and yet still believe are to be blessed, but I don’t think that any more reading will give me the faith that I’m looking for.
Any words of wisdom?