Not sure on the rules here

OK. So, Im single and there is this guy at work who I liked before I found out some info on. He is close in age to me but he is married, going to get a divorce and has 2 kids.
What are the rules as far as dating and marrying someone in this situation within keeping the Catholic tradition?

OK. So, Im single and there is this guy at work who I liked before I found out some info on. He is close in age to me but he is married, going to get a divorce and has 2 kids.
What are the rules as far as dating and marrying someone in this situation within keeping the Catholic tradition?

He is married. Don’t date him until and if: a) he is no longer married, and b) the invalidity of his current marriage has been recognized by a marriage tribunal.

Don’t even go there.

He is not divorced at this point in time. He is married. Pray for him to heal his marriage. His children deserve two parents together.

If he does divorce civilly, he is still married. He has two kids. He has a lot of emotional things to deal with.

Uh, he’s not available, therefore no dating.

Divorce cannot dissolve a marriage. He is not free to date or marry.

Get this infatuation out of your head and find someone free to commit to you.


The rules are rules of prudence. The man is still married and has two children. I think prudence would suggest that you consider him to be, well, a married man with two children and conduct yourself accordingly.

You don’t mention if he’s baptized or not, or Catholic or not, so without that critical piece of information the above advice is all I can suggest, other than “speak with your priest”. But whether he’s Catholic or Christian or something else, doesn’t really matter in this case because he’s a married man with two children.

Ke is right, look elsewhere to men who are free to date.

You see I was once a “married man with three kids about to divorce”, but my wife and I looked over the brink, didn’t like what we saw, and reconciled. That would really be the best outcome for the man in question, his wife and his children.



why would you want to date someone that is in the middle of a divorce and failed marriage with two children?[Run], don’t walk, away from this married man!

Again. do not date him!

as fast and far as you can! :thumbsup:

Not to beat a dead horse here but… everybody else was right. :slight_smile:

You just asked this question on another thread. Everyone has told you:

  1. he is not free to date because he is still married.
  2. even if divorced, he would have to have that annulled even to be able to date.
  3. he has children, are you seriously thinking this is a good idea?
    Just because he is telling you he is going to get a divorce doesn’t mean that is really going to happen. Stay away and tell him no and stay away.

After reading some of the other posts, it’s really not a good idea for you to get involved.

It may seem counter-intuitive, but a divorce doesn’t mean the two part ways forever, especially when kids are involved.

Even if he came running to you, my advice would still be the same.

You may have liked him before you knew he was married, but now you know, you must stop.

Okay, say you ever got serious in the future with this man. If he went with you, while he is still legally married and has 2 children, what’s to say he wouldn’t do that to you one day if you married him?

If he can do it once with you, he’s more likely to do it with someone else, as well

A LOT of men say, “I’m married…but I’m going to get a divorce” so women will date them. Typically, what happens is that the woman who dates them becomes “the other woman”, and he just uses her. Due to the children, he will often NOT want to leave his wife, is just looking for a sexual relationship.

You will probably mean nothing to him, be possibly just another conquest. Had you also considered WHY he may be divorcing? What if it’s because he’s unfaithful?

You are certainly not helping this couple stay together. Do you want to tear a family apart? How would you feel if he were your husband and those were your kids?

People go on and on like this…year after year…“I’ll leave my wife in…6 months, baby. I’ll divorce in 1 year, honey. Next year, honey.”

In the meantime, you’re sharing a man between the 2 of you!

Please don’t be the “other woman”. I know things are difficult with men, but take what’s available. Avoid him, now, so you don’t fall into further temptation. Respect him, yourself, his wife, and the children.

Recall what Christ said that if we even look at someone with lust, it’s the same as commiting adultery. Do you want to be guilty of adultery?

As far as the rules for dating in this situation goes, there are none…that’s because he’s married and not free to date. End of discussion.

First, even from a secular standpoint “going to get a divorce” is meaningless. I know people that were “going to get a divorce” and died without ever getting one. Second, it will take years for him to ever have the potential to be free to marry. Third, be wary of anyone with children that wants to date while going through divorce. Such people are not thinking about their children first. It is not wise to introduce to the children a parent figure into the situation. I’ve had (former) close friends do this, and they really screwed up their children. He should be thinking about his children first; and foremost; anything else should be a major warning sign about his being a spouse and parent.

Please, move on, and don’t give it a second thought.

You posted another thread “Not sure of the rules here”.

You posted another thread “Not sure on the rules here” in the “Moral Theology” Forum

Do you think you are going to get different answers from Catholics?

[SIGN]Are you a Troll?[/SIGN]

As other posters have identified your similar question on another thread. Nothing wrong with getting a second opinion, however some professionals are familiar with the client who goes shopping for the right response which is a sign of fixated desire which in this situation will only lead to heartbreak. Take the advice of every adviser on this and other threads and get it out of your head. Good luck for your future and your future husband when you meet him in the future.

It’s been said here already, but if he’s eyeing you and flirting with you while he’s married with kids, he’ll treat you the same way. Shame on him if that’s been going on that you are considering it. Just don’t.

God has a plan for your life!! Get plugged into that and continue to walk in grace and the love of God. Don’t be drawn into trouble’s net.

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