Not sure, please help


#1

Hello everybody and may God Bless us all.

Ill try to keep this short. God guides us all, and I am really not quite sure which direction HE is leading me right now.

I’m 16 and a junior in high school. Since the summer after 8th grade, I have kinda liked the same girl. Hope this is not too creepy, please tell me so if it is. :frowning: At that time, I was far from God. I was committing many sins of impurity with little resistance on my behalf and trying to run my mind like a machine, on logic and not faith. Because i was unsuccessfully trying to crush my emotions, i was not able to talk to the girl i liked without stammering ect. :shrug: I buried myself in the past, dreams of how i could have been friends with her earlier, ect.

I don’t exactly remember the moment it happened, but i began praying more and more, not just about this but in general. It brought me far closer to God. I prayed my Confirmation prayer book frequently until I had many of the prayers memorized and the book began to fall apart. After many unsuccessful attempts, I think i have stopped committing sins of impurity (over a month, pray for me please).

Anyways, freshman year i had no classes with her. Much to my chagrin the same was true for the first semester of sophomore year. However, in short, through a seemingly, but not, coincidental series of events, I ended up on my school’s debate team with her and in a class with her. I turned my mind to faith, reciting prayers silently often. I traveled far closer to Christ, but at the same time, became better friends with her. I asked her to homecoming. Long story short, she pretty much said yes, but i didn’t have the guts to dance with her:shrug::frowning: and so things went poorly. Now I am decent friends with her i guess, but unsure of where to go from here. We are both practicing Catholics and hold the same political opinions, and get a laugh about things said by others when debating. This want of friendship with her has brought me closer to God

I recently went through a dark night of the soul or something very very close to it where my faith was tried, and my scrupulosity is getting in the way of my decision making. I asked myself briefly if God wants me to become a Priest, and am unsure and fearful of the answer. I have began the Novena to Saint Raphael and pray the Most Holy Rosary about twice a day, separating it by decade and praying whenever I have time. I know the solution is to just Trust in the Lord, but any guidance would be appreciated. I know God has brought me closer to this girl, but I don’t know why. Is He using this as a stepping stone to make me do His will? How can I tell? Thanks for the help.

May our Good Lord Jesus Christ be a Light in the darkness and guide us along this difficult journey that is life here on earth.


#2

Also, I don’t think i am open enough to let God truly lead me. Any advice for forgetting what I want, and going with what God has in mind?


#3

I will keep you in my prayers. Are your parents devout Catholics? You should discuss this with them and also a good faithful priest who can spiritually direct you. God bless you-there should be more nice young men like you!:)


#4

You’ve done well striving for purity.

Talk to your priest, your elders.

I can tell you not to worry. At every moment, we’re meant to experience Christian joy amid adversity.

Prioritize. Decide what college, if at all, you want to go to and what you want to do for the rest of your life. Seeing a spiritual director can be concurrently in your preparations for college or a job.

Cultivate good friendships. True friendship flows from the heart. The more you purify yourself, the more wholesome your friendships will be. Friendships are stepping stones to that deeper relationship you desire.

Congratulations on combating impurity - try developing an appreciation for beautiful things, music, art, etc. Positive pursuits can lead you further and further away from impurity and toward that purity you desire.

Pray for me. We all have our trials. I wish you well in yours.


#5

Yes, my parents and I are devout Catholics, yet not as devout as we should be. Our family stopped praying the Most Holy Rosary together, but I think several of us do it on our own. I am not sure how to approach a Priest about this, though I do know several well. How should I approach this situation until i can talk to a Priest?


#6

[quote="red85, post:4, topic:312625"]

Pray for me. We all have our trials. I wish you well in yours.

[/quote]

Will do.


#7

you have my prayers

I know how hard it could be since I remember my highschool years and especially girls I liked but the only advice I could offer is to daily ask God that you may do his will.

good luck :D


#8

How to approach a priest, you ask?

Several ways:
Call the parish to schedule an appointment to meet
Stop to chat briefly after mass
Send an email

I think it is important to know you can speak to any priest — it doesnt necessarily have to be the same one where you attend mass, although that is preferred as they would hopefully already know you.

God bless you.


#9

Sowinskija,

Congratulations on your recent victories in the area of purity and your growing prayer life!

You need just 2 things to discern God’s will for you, and the Good News you already have one of them to a sufficient degree:

  1. Prayer, aka intimacy with God
  2. Freedom of Heart, aka the freedom to say, “Whatever you want God I’ll do it. You want me a priest, awesome. You want me married, fantastic.”

That second one can be pretty tricky, and next to impossible when you’re romantically “attached” to someone else. There are lots of things that can be useful, starting with continuing to keep your prayer life solid and frequent Mass/Confession. It could also be good for you to talk to a priest. As far as talking to your family, that would depend on whether or not they would be useful in helping you get closer to this freedom. Some parents will push their kids one way or the other in their discernment: marriage or consecration/priesthood. That can be another obstacle to overcome if it’s the case.

What to do about the girl? If it’s possible, do what you can to take a step back in the relationship without being too weird about it. How do you get the strength to do that? I recommend reflecting on Matthew 19:29

“And every one that hath left house, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands for my name’s sake, shall receive an hundredfold, and shall possess life everlasting.”

To me that means that God will:

  1. Give you 100 times more joy as a priest
  2. Give you a girl 100 times better to be with
  3. Make your relationship with this girl 100 times better than it is now

if you just give Him a chance, ok? Awesome

God bless,

Fr. Scott, AVI

P.S. Plus, He’ll give you eternal life, which they tell me is very nice indeed!


#10

[quote="skallal, post:9, topic:312625"]
Sowinskija,

Congratulations on your recent victories in the area of purity and your growing prayer life!

You need just 2 things to discern God's will for you, and the Good News you already have one of them to a sufficient degree:

1) Prayer, aka intimacy with God
2) Freedom of Heart, aka the freedom to say, "Whatever you want God I'll do it. You want me a priest, awesome. You want me married, fantastic."

That second one can be pretty tricky, and next to impossible when you're romantically "attached" to someone else. There are lots of things that can be useful, starting with continuing to keep your prayer life solid and frequent Mass/Confession. It could also be good for you to talk to a priest. As far as talking to your family, that would depend on whether or not they would be useful in helping you get closer to this freedom. Some parents will push their kids one way or the other in their discernment: marriage or consecration/priesthood. That can be another obstacle to overcome if it's the case.

What to do about the girl? If it's possible, do what you can to take a step back in the relationship without being too weird about it. How do you get the strength to do that? I recommend reflecting on Matthew 19:29

"And every one that hath left house, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands for my name's sake, shall receive an hundredfold, and shall possess life everlasting."

To me that means that God will:

1) Give you 100 times more joy as a priest
2) Give you a girl 100 times better to be with
3) Make your relationship with this girl 100 times better than it is now

if you just give Him a chance, ok? Awesome

God bless,

Fr. Scott, AVI

P.S. Plus, He'll give you eternal life, which they tell me is very nice indeed!

[/quote]

Thank you Father! It's a blessing to have a Priest here to help!


#11

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