Not sure what to do...dd's guitar teacher


#1

I wasn’t sure where to put this, but thought the family section would work.

Many of you might recall reading a thread a few months back, about my 12 yr old dd taking guitar lessons from a man we found an ad for, in a local paper. He and his wife are awesome. He is about 36 y.o., and his wife is so great–she and I have become friends. I really thought we found a blessing, here, and my dd loves lesson time with him. He has taught her a lot in these past few months.

Here is my dilemma…

She hasn’t had practice for a few weeks, about four, because her teacher had shoulder surgery. The last I talked with him was shortly after easter…he said towards the end of May, he would resume lessons. Well, here it is June 5th, and not a word. I left two messages for him, and pretty much, everyone has caller id these days, so he knows our number–why hasn’t he called us back? My dd is upset…she said that she wants to wait for him to call, before I look for another teacher.

What would you do? I don’t want to stalk the guy…lol But, I find it a bit rude that he hasn’t returned the calls…at least call back and let us know if you need more time to heal??:confused:

Your advice is appreciated…I feel badly for my dd. She misses her lessons, and he is really great with her.:frowning:


#2

The end of May can easily roll into the first week of June! He may be out of town too.

I am an Avon Rep. and I will tell you that I have a couple of customers I have dropped because they don’t order for months at a time and then when they do they call every several days to see if their order is in and are really upset if it takes me a couple of days to call them back - I do have a life outside of Avon and sometimes I am out of town (yes, these people are not forgiving even If when I finally call and tell them I was out of town).

He may also not be completely healed and is very down about it and doesn’t want to talk to any one about it. I know I am only 3 weeks from knee surgery but it still gets me down that I can not get out there and exercise like I used to - I went and did a little bit of swimming (have been cleared to do this but “don’t over do it!”) and my knee was so sore after wards even with icing that I was too depressed to even cook dinner - I have a very understanding husband and my children are grown so it was okay but that contributed to my feeling bad. (I am feeling better today and hope to get in the pool again tomorrow, my body needs to do something besides walk - I was doing heavy duty aerobics before the surgery!) I don’t want to talk to anyone about it and truth be told it takes a lot out of me to put on that happy face for the “public”.

Don’t call again until next week now. You have called a number of times already but next time you do call let them know you are concerned about him and would fully understand if he needs to take more time to heal.

Brenda V.


#3

so obviously he is not ready to resume giving lessons, and will call when he is, or he assumes since school is over lessons will resume in the fall, or will call when he is ready. what is the dilemma? you have called twice, he has not responded. If she wants lessons right this minute, find somebody else, if she wants to study with him, wait until he calls back and is ready to resume lessons. you should not feel as if the burden is on you to chase him down, presumably he is in the business of giving lessons so it is up to him to repond in a business like way


#4

You mean he is not waiting for our call? What? ha:D I did think that possibly, they might have taken a vacation. They don’t have kids, so maybe they went away…I also know he is going to be in a concert in July…maybe he is busy planning for that. He is a super nice man…so is his wife. I can’t imagine that they just wouldn’t care…I have also thought that maybe he is on meds, as he was the last time we talked, and he sounded depressed. I feel very badly for them both–his shoulder was really damaged in a car accident a few years ago, and he just sought surgery this year…it’s been a mess, they have said. So, I will take your advice…I will leave it alone for a week or so, and then try again.

How long would you give it before you looked for a new teacher? We are moving again at the end of the month, so really, if she didn’t resume lessons until after that, it would be fine…but would you give it a month or more?


#5

You don’t take lessons seasonly, annie…lol It’s every week, one hour, that she sees him…this was something that he agreed to…this was his gig, not ours. If someone doesn’t want to teach anymore, he should also come out and tell us that. He’s not 18 years old…he’s a 36 yo man…let’s say he doesn’t want to teach anymore, he should call us and let us know to find someone else. When I took piano growing up, it was weekly, unless my teacher or my family were going on vacation, or someone was sick, etc…it isn’t like school, where you get summer vacation from it.

That’s the thing though (your last statement you sound like my husband)…when is enough calling, enough, though?:o


#6

sorry, when my kids took lessons it followed the school year, but possibly because teachers were those recommended by band or choir director. but if the guy is supposed to be doing this as a business, and is not resonding in a professional manner, yes give him the benefit of the doubt, but if she really needs to get going, don’t wait for him, find another teacher.


#7

Yes, I think the school also has lessons during the year too…I will take your and Brenda’s advice…give a little longer…and maybe one more call, I am concerned, frankly. It’s not like them to not reach out like this. But, if I hear nothing for a few more weeks, I guess he decided to stop teaching.:shrug: I hope not though–my dd really liked her lessons with him. If I have to find someone new, hopefully, God will direct us to the right school or individual.


#8

I would give it about two more weeks and then call with concern in your voice and ask how he is doing.

Also, did you and your daughter send him a “get well” card? I assume the lessons are at his house (at least that is how my daughter’s had their violin lessons) and you know his address. This might put you back in his focus as well as letting him know you are concerned for his well-being. You could include something about hoping for him to have a good Concert in July and that you are moving can he recommend a good Guitar instructor for where you are going. Include your phone number and/or e-mail contact information (especially if it is a g-mail, yahoo or hotmail type account that will move with you).

Other than that, we always took the summers off from music lessons too. This was when my children’s instructors would work on their own skills and have concerts etc.

It is a bit unprofessional of him to not contact you if he is in town though.

Brenda V.


#9

Agree, send him a card with note.


#10

Whatevergirl… I had a friend that was a great musician… played Christian music, wrote his own songs… you know the type… anyway, he ended up getting hurt at work and needed surgery on his hand. His recovery was very slow and he got bitter about not being able to play well and actually got depressed and went on meds… sold all his equipment… stopped going to church… etc… well a few years later he was better enough to pick up his guitar again… The point I am trying to make is most musicians are artistic and MOODY… and after something like surgery he may be depressed that he can’t play like before… send him a get well card and let him know you are praying for him… he will get a hold of you…


#11

If your daughter is keen to stick with him, then I’d do similar to this suggestion - wait two weeks and maybe send a card with a note in the meantime. Beyond that, I’d call and leave one last message saying that daughter is keen to resume lessons and if he’s not up to it at the moment could he recommend someone else. That way if he’s around you should get an answer either way, and if you don’t get a response you should move on instead of dragging it out.

I remember when I had a brief flirtation with singing lessons in my younger days we were able to make ad hoc arrangements with our teachers and pay for lessons as they happened. I could give a bit of advance notice if I was going on vacation or had school exams etc and resume after they were done. Perhaps you could make a similar arrangement with a new teacher?

Perhaps don’t say that it’s because she’s waiting for the old teacher, but say lessons may be temporary because of something else - that DD’s schoolwork is increasing, or you want to see how she gets along with new teacher etc, which gives you an out. :shrug:


#12

Re. caller id, a suggestion might be for you to call him from YOUR work (unless you have already), or have your DH call him from his work and say the following, “I like to talk with you about guitar lessons” and have your husband give his Work number. That way, he might be enticed to call and then you can get at the truth.


#13

Maybe he doesn’t have caller id? Silly question but did you actually leave your number on the message? :o


#14

blestone as usual has the most compassionate, far-seeing answer


#15

Hi there.
My husband is a guitar teacher - in - home private lessons for the past 20 years. He does follow the school year as do most music and voice teachers in this area.
Unless he specifically told you that he teaches year round, then I would not assume anything.

If good teachers are hard to find, then stick with one you like and take the summer break. She can keep on practicing her previous lessons.


#16

LOL–you know, I didn’t! But, I left voicemails for him…so…I am leaning towards thinking something has gone wrong, he is depressed with his recovery, and with a concert coming up…maybe he needed to bow out.

Thank you for the advice everyone…I will give it a try.


#17

I think he’s misplaced/forgotten your number and would like to call but can’t. :slight_smile:


#18

aboverubies–he has it in his address book–he has mentioned that before…but who knows? lol

Okay–I left another vm msg this morning, and now I’m done. I don’t truly feel comfortable calling anymore. My dd doesn’t either, although she is confused by him not returning the calls. I really hope nothing awful has happened.:frowning: But, I would imagine if he was in the hospital, or something, that his wife, who seems to be ultra responsible, would have called us. It’s just one of those odd mysteries in life.

But, I took the advice from here, I asked how he was…is everything ok? I left my phone number too…so, we shall see.:shrug:


#19

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