Not wanting kids.... Is this a sin?


Well, since no one is going to put a gun to your back to make you get married or have children, I don’t see how it affects you if you say you’d rather live a chaste life.

And how can you see life as nothing but misery when you believe in God’s love and eternal life? Do you think happiness is reserved strictly for the afterlife? What a horrible thought that would be. We are to delight in God’s creation not wish we were dead and have it all over with. Perhaps you need counseling for this from a good spiritual director?

Only if you get married or don’t want to live a chaste life. But if you truly don’t have a desire to have children, then perhaps God is calling you to a different vocation than you orignally thought.

Maybe some people just aren’t called to be parents, though. Does that mean they don’t deserve to be married?

If they aren’t called to be parents, they aren’t called to marriage. The purpose of marriage is the procreation and education of offspring.

Deserve? No one “deserves” anything, life included. We are given the gift of life and we are given the gift of marriage. Marriage has a purpose designed by God. While you as an atheist may not agree with this, the OP came to a Catholic board for a Catholic answer.

A permanent intention against children is an impediment to valid marriage.

It depends on the motivation, and there could be any number of motivations. If someone doesn’t want kids because they want a life of uninhibited self-indulgence, for example, this would be sinful, at least insofar as the person consented to those desires. (We all have selfish tendencies due to concupiscence, and can’t help that in the moment, though we can resist them, and gradually dampen them over time by growing in virtue.)

To take another example, if someone doesn’t want kids because they have some sort of psychological problem through no fault of their own, well, it isn’t their fault.

In addition there are levels of “wanting” something. You can want kids on a natural level, but (in a sense) not want them, because you would rather give your life more fully to God in consecrated life.

So I don’t think there’s one cookie-cutter answer.

If the OP is married, there is an obligation to consummate the marriage, since there is an obligation to at least attempt to have children.

If the OP is not married, I would suggest he/she not even attempt marriage until he/she intends to fulfill the requirements of marriage.

I would agree with Ad Orientem, if not wanting kids due to self-indulgence, then that may be considered a sin, but if someone says they don’t want kids, but they are open to the possibility of kids, then I think that would be fine. Kind of like if a married couple is not trying to have kids, but also not trying to prevent from having kids. I suppose:shrug:

The point is to prevent bringing the kids into a potentially miserable existence and to prevent them from experiencing any suffering the world has to offer. Just look around you; sickness, diseases, poverty, starvation, economic crises, wars and rumours of wars, asteroids. The world is a tough place to live… the word “life” is not coloured with rainbows with daisies growing on top of each letter. There are no such things as happily ever afters, especially not in this world. If true happiness can’t even be achieved in this world, why bother?

Though God loves us, it doesn’t change the fact that the world is a cold, hostile and harsh place. So why bother? Why bother bringing sentient beings that will only suffer and have to exist in such a place? Though there are a lot of good things in life… the suffering always outweighs the good that the world can offer. Always.

I share Benatar and Schopenhauer’s outlook on life. Though I vehemently condemn abortion and contraception, I believe that a person should NOT have sex not only for the sake of chastity, but also for the sake of not bearing any children, since reproduction and sex cannot be separated. So there we go… another reason to practice strict chastity; to not have kids!

Based on what? A health issue? Or you think bringing children into the way the world is today means they would suffer?

"We create the need for the need to exist, therefore the need exists."

If the need never existed in the first place, there would be no need.

Alrighty then, I take it you are one of those types of CAF members that have been popping up lately that don’t like to answer any questions directly. If you’re going to play it that way, I think I’m taking my ball and going home.

Based on the misery of the world. It doesn’t take an idiot to see that the world is a horrible, miserable place to live in. As the Hail Holy Queen puts it… the world is “a valley of tears”.

I had a feeling that’s why you don’t want kids.

I happen to disagree with you, I think the world is both good and bad. If you want to be miserable, you will always finds evidence to prove you can be. But if you really love God and all His works and see His presence in this world of ours, you’ll find it every time. God loves us, God still is in the baby-making business last time I checked. He hasn’t lost hope in us, so neither am I.

“The list is endless of the horrible conditions of how the human race has lived under the course of its history.”

No thank you. I don’t watch stuff on youtube.

Not necessarily true, otherwise, this would preclude the elderly and sterile from entering into marriage, which we know is not true.

They still have to take the vow to be “open to life” though, being infertile does not negate that.

We have children so there will be more people in union with God for all eternity, not so we can be totally happy and fulfilled in this life. Suffering is as much as part of life as is joy–we joy in the Lord, that is our happiness here and in eternity. If you have no joy in God now, what makes you think he’s going to make you happy in eternity? We are molding our lives either in the image of Christ or in the image of the world. Be careful which you choose, but don’t use words cherry picked from a prayer to justify condeming God’s creation. Remember the pray also says, “our life, our sweetness, and our hope.” We must cultivate the virtue of hope, not give into despair, for he who dies in despair of life dies without God in his life.

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