[quote="Trishie, post:4, topic:264616"]
Welcome to Catholic Answers. :)
Yes you are wise to speak to him calmly and kindly, but clearly.
.Yes it feels like betrayal. Yes, it is sinful because Jesus said, "But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart."
So that is downloading at looking at the pictures and why else but lust.
From the Catechism of the Catholic Church:
"2354 Pornography consists in removing real or simulated sexual acts from the intimacy of the partners, in order to display them deliberately to third parties. It offends against chastity because it perverts the conjugal act, the intimate giving of spouses to each other. It does grave injury to the dignity of its participants (actors, vendors, the public), since each one becomes an object of base pleasure and illicit profit for others. It immerses all who are involved in the illusion of a fantasy world. It is a grave offense. Civil authorities should prevent the production and distribution of pornographic materials. "
It is never an excuse to say, "but everybody does it." Sin is a personal choice and the consequences of sin are personal.
"We have to obey God rather than men" (Acts 5:29)
We can't use others as an excuse and hope not to suffer the consequences:
"The righteousness of the righteous will be credited to them, and the wickedness of the wicked will be charged against them." Ezekiel 18:20
Your husband may not have thought of the ramifications aof his actions although, from the Catechism "1776 "Deep within his conscience man discovers a law which he has not laid upon himself but which he must obey. Its voice, ever calling him to love and to do what is good and to avoid evil, sounds in his heart at the right moment... For man has in his heart a law inscribed by God... His conscience is man's most secret core and his sanctuary. There he is alone with God whose voice echoes in his depths."
Perhaps your husband just needs a reminder of these things.
[quote="DaddyGirl, post:11, topic:264616"]
Funnily enough, I was just on a website that gave tips on how to avoid "near occasions of sin" on your computer...one of the helpful tips, among many, was to put a photo of Mother Mary next to the computer!
I thought that was kinda brilliant.
After you talk to your husband about it, of course, it might be a good reminder to him!
To keep his mind while he's surfing the web on a woman of a more, um, virtuous nature!
And put a photo there of YOU, too!
I would not believe for one second that this was some computer malfunction. Pages do not get bookmarked like that by themselves.
"Give him the benefit of the doubt. And if you've been snooping, stop. That kind of stuff *never ends well."*
-No offense, but this is incredibly poor advice and shows an ignorance of the meaning of Sacramental Marriage. (I say this with all due respect and charity...but what is charity without Truth except for empty sentimentalism...Caritas in Veritate ) When people are married, EVERYTHING that one does affects the other. It is the OP's right and duty to know what her husband is up to in this regard because they both have a duty to one another, thier respective souls, and the good of the marriage. If her husband has indeed been viewing pornography, his soul and their marriage are in jeopardy.