I’ve got a friend, that special kind of nutty evangelical, who thinks that everything we do is wrong and against the Bible. She hasn’t read the Bible. I have. So sometimes she’ll end up contradicting perfectly valid Biblical things in her attempt to defend herself against my Whoredom of Babylon.
For instance, I went to her house one time, she has a prayer candle. I complimented her on it, and she goes, “oh, well I’m Christian so I don’t pray with it, or anything…” as if God had never designed the Menorah or expressed His approval of sacramental offerings such as an oblation of incense, silly little things like that…
Actually, for me, the gem in the protestant hat is that they all whine Sola Scriptura, but of all the protestants I know, maybe one has actually taken the time to read the Bible, which is apparently the only thing they’ve got going for them, the pillar and foundation of their faith. They ask me where I can find this or that in the Bible, and sometimes I just ask where they can’t find it, since they haven’t bothered to read the Bible.
I had a gnostic friend who suspected I was sympathetic, if not involved in, a Vatican plot to overthrow the bourgeosie of the United States. That was a good one. And she thought I had the power to exorcise daemons, because, apparently, that’s all we do. Well, whatever.