Nuttiest Things Non-Catholics Have Said or Done Around You Because You're Catholic

Hi guys!

I know there are threads out there about common misconceptions like you worship Mary or discourage people from reading the Bible.

This is not that thread.

I’m curious to know what were the craziest and most outrageous reactions and misconceptions people have had to you or your family or friends because you’re catholic.

A friend of mine said when her grandmother was a child there was a woman on her block who would go running across the street whenever they saw them coming. Not just casually stroll but pick up her skirts and full on sprint. Weird stuff.

Humor is appreciated.

Play fair. Be nice.


In Morocco, my friends said that children would spit to the side and say: “Christians!” So far, I have not met any hostility because, before it comes, I say: “I am Catholic!” So no one dares to say anything against Catholics.

I’ve got a friend, that special kind of nutty evangelical, who thinks that everything we do is wrong and against the Bible. She hasn’t read the Bible. I have. So sometimes she’ll end up contradicting perfectly valid Biblical things in her attempt to defend herself against my Whoredom of Babylon.

For instance, I went to her house one time, she has a prayer candle. I complimented her on it, and she goes, “oh, well I’m Christian so I don’t pray with it, or anything…” as if God had never designed the Menorah or expressed His approval of sacramental offerings such as an oblation of incense, silly little things like that…

Actually, for me, the gem in the protestant hat is that they all whine Sola Scriptura, but of all the protestants I know, maybe one has actually taken the time to read the Bible, which is apparently the only thing they’ve got going for them, the pillar and foundation of their faith. They ask me where I can find this or that in the Bible, and sometimes I just ask where they can’t find it, since they haven’t bothered to read the Bible.

I had a gnostic friend who suspected I was sympathetic, if not involved in, a Vatican plot to overthrow the bourgeosie of the United States. That was a good one. And she thought I had the power to exorcise daemons, because, apparently, that’s all we do. Well, whatever.

God bless,

The next time you hear one whine Sola Scriptura, ask him where in the Bible does it say what books constitute a valid Bible.

When I met my husband,a non affiliated Protestant, he tried quoting the Hail Mary;

Hal Mary full of grace…fruit of the loom…etc.

I almost cried laughing. He said, as a child, he would see nuns saying the Rosary on TV…and just could not figure out what they were saying!

When my exhusbands extended family found out that I was Catholic, they all snickered followed by saying “stand up, sit down”.

At age eight in 1st year Catechism, I couldn’t figure out what a “wombjesus” was. :stuck_out_tongue:

When I produced a set of missing keys immediately after saying a short prayer to St. Anthony, my non-Catholic friend, who had misplaced the keys, almost broke down in tears, saying, “But it’s not in the Bible.” She has since passed away. I hope St. Anthony has contacted her and put her doubts aside. I can picture her, a pleasant woman, thanking him for a favor done for her.

I met a family I went to the Methodist Church with growing up a few weeks ago at a restaurant. They were happy to see me and meet my wife and kids. We chatted a bit on old times and asked that I stop by their place and visit or go by the old church as well. They asked me if I went to the Methodist church in a neighboring town where my uncle is a pastor and I said politely, No, I go to San Martin De Porres. They know its Catholic. The lady paused and said “oh , that’s ok you can still come by” They quickly moved on and said good by. I just looked at my wife and grinned.

My grand mother really has bad blood against the Catholic Church. She had some colorful things to say about it when I was growing up. lol… I wont repeat that here. :o

My LDS mother made Easter baskets for my children that had some trading-card type pictures of events from Jesus’ life. She laminated them and fixed them to a ring so the kids could flip through them, which was a great idea. However, she took out the cards that she deemed “too Mormon” or even just “not Catholic enough” for me. It was a sweet and very endearing gesture, but it made me laugh all the same.

I just looked the cards up online, and they were actually meant to be carried around in pockets or left around the house to encourage and remind people that Jesus loved them. I can’t help but think about Saint Cards and how they pretty much do the same thing!

Aw, poor gal. It pays to remember that many, many folks are believing with their whole heart and mind, just as we are. Gentle treatment and loving concern, all around.

My Mom and I were in the park one day. I was such a sweet Protestant child. I ran up to a nun (in full habit) and asked her in she’s was an “onion.” My Mom was horrified. She just laughed. She sweetly told me that she’s a nun, not an onion.

My cousin in a manicurist and someone recently asked her if the Catholic Church believes in Jesus. Did the Church even teach if he existed.

My Father-In-Law told my wife that she was turning her back on Christ by joining the the “Roman Cult”… Hes southern baptist you the type who comdems the occasional alcoholic bevarage as the devil’s mouthwash while hideing pina coladas in his secret fridge in the laundry room.

He actually refused to come to the baptism of my first child.

My mother-in-law would not talk to me before, during, or after on the wedding day.

He thought we worshiped “gods” yes plural… Like pagan Rome… LOL


My 84 year old LDS friend told me Catholics were the ones that painted their faces and raided the jail where Joseph Smith was and then shot him! She thought Blessed Pope John Paul II
should apologize to the LDS.
Never heard that one before

Well, a friend of mine (one grandpa was a Southern Baptist minister the other was a SDA minister…she wasn’t raised either, both of them are long gone, and so are her parents) told me, I’m thrilled you were never abused. She always tells me that.
Also something along the lines: Anglicans/Episcopalians/Lutherans: Catholic lite: same ritual, half the guilt. sigh

A teacher in a private school asked three children who were different faiths to bring something that represented their faith and talk about it the next morning for their special sharing time.

The next morning, Isaac went first, “Good morning I’m Jewish and this is my menorah”. Then Matthew, “I’m Catholic and this is my rosary”. Then Justin, “I’m Presbyterian and this is my casserole dish”.

I’m the only Catholic in my family. Everyone pretty much fights over who says grace at family events but not me. I sit quietly and let them hash it out amongst themselves. Well, my sister, in an effort to be kind said, “I want Lorrie to pray this time. Let’s have her do it in Catholic.”

Not missing a beat I replied, “That works for me. I speak fluent Catholic.”



Years ago I worked in Appalachia at a Catholic summer camp. The week before we picked up the kids we would go to their homes to get paperwork signed. One day as we were walking up to a house we heard a child yelling, “The Catholics are coming, the Catholics are coming!”

A friend of mine once told me that: since the ROMANS killed Jesus, and I’m ROMAN Catholic, therefore I killed Jesus.
Before anyone takes that too seriously, he was joking around. He doesn’t believe that at all.

My grandmother, who was raised Baptist, is a Catholic convert from way back. When she was discerning whether to convert (she was about to marry my grandfather, a Catholic), she was consulting a priest. She said that when she was growing up (in the rural south) there were people that told her that to become Catholic, a priest had to re-baptize her naked in a tub :stuck_out_tongue:
The priest she was talking to quickly dismissed this idea, thank goodness!

Good Friday this year, my college’s Catholic community did their service in the school auditorium. The lights were down. Before everything started, I was standing outside. Some folks passed the auditorium, saw the dim lights and religious stuff, and shouted “THEY DOIN’ BLACK MAGIC IN THERE!” and walked away laughing. It was actually kind of funny, though if it had been during the service, I would have been less jovial.

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