Obedience and Honor of Parents and In-Laws

Given the commandment, “Honor thy father and thy mother,” what is the extent of obedience to the dictates and recommendations of an adult child, or specifically an adult child-in-law?

I was taught that obedience to the wishes and orders of a parent, as long as they were not immoral, was a large part of honoring them, and as a wife, my parents-in-law were no different from my parents. However, my MIL has many edicts, most of which are contrary to my values. My husband and his sister say to ignore her, but I was taught that was sinful. My MIL acts in such a way that there seems to be no middle ground, either obey or ignore.

Therefore, is it sinful to ignore her directions, which do not contradict the teaching of the church, but are often ridiculous?

You are an adult, not a child, and your MIL - while deserving of respect - has no hold over you and no right to dictate anything.

You can politely listen and mull over what she says.
The sin comes in if one:
derides a parent or in-law openly
is disrespectful to them
promotes discord through arguments and asking others to take sides on issues

You’re an adult. Respect one another.
If you feel they don’t respect your wishes, pray for them.
Ignoring may be your only option to keep the peace, but you can’t do so in a way that shows disdain or intolerance.

Common sense.
How will you feel when your children are grown and they don’t behave as you think they should?
You would hope they would respect you.

I am not sure where you got the idea you have, but it is 100% NOT Catholic teaching.

No, you do not have to “obey” your own parents or your in laws. You are an adult.

Agree with 1ke and all the above posters. As adults, we change our relationships with our parents. And from personal experience, my DH and I could certainly not honor the wishes of his parents when he wanted us to embrace the gay agenda, including SSM. We gently told them we had to follow the tenets of our faith that we felt would get us to Heaven. Even though Catholic, the disagreed with us. :frowning:

Secant, this is from the catechism, emphasis mine:

[quote=]2217 As long as a child lives at home with his parents, the child should obey his parents in all that they ask of him when it is for his good or that of the family. "Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord."22 Children should also obey the reasonable directions of their teachers and all to whom their parents have entrusted them. But if a child is convinced in conscience that it would be morally wrong to obey a particular order, he must not do so.

As they grow up, children should continue to respect their parents. They should anticipate their wishes, willingly seek their advice, and accept their just admonitions. Obedience toward parents ceases with the emancipation of the children; not so respect, which is always owed to them. This respect has its roots in the fear of God, one of the gifts of the Holy Spirit.
[/quote]

You are a married adult woman, so you are “emancipated” and are no longer bound to obey your parents. You should of course continue to respect them, but this does not mean following all of their advice or doing as they say just because they’re your parents. It is not sinful to make your own decisions and decide to do something that violates their desires.

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