Obligation as godmother here?


#1

This morning I got a voicemail from my best friend - she left it last night. She told me she was going away for the weekend and part of Sunday was going to be spent at the beach before she came home. She doesn't drive, she's going with someone who does and I'm pretty sure there is no church near where she is going.

She converted 3 years ago and I'm her godmother. I've left her a voicemail saying I wish I had gotten a chance to speak with her before she left and that I hoped she had Mass figured out for Sunday. I then left her with a couple of options (Mass times and parishes) and said I was concerned as her godmother and didn't want to hear excuses (the latter said in a light tone). She doesn't feel at home at the only parish in her city and it only offers an 11am Mass - she also says it's too difficult to go elsewhere because it's a long bus ride to any other church and back. This is why I think she's just not going to go.

She's a grown woman but I'm her son's godmother as well and I worry about what is being modelled to him about the obligation towards Sunday Mass. I also want to fulfill my duty as their godparent. Did I?


#2

Personally, I think you did. You can't make someone go to Mass. All you can do is be encouraging and a good example to that person, and pray for them, of course.


#3

I am in similiar situation as my godson, who is my nephew, left the church when his parents converted to another faith many years ago. I find that one of the most important things you can continue to do is keep them in your prayers. After all, look at the success that St Monica had with her son. Sometimes we do not see the fruits of our actions for many years or even on this side of eternity.

Peace to You!


#4

[quote="Matt_CL, post:3, topic:204831"]
Sometimes we do not see the fruits of our actions for many years or even on this side of eternity.

[/quote]

Amen! I've often said that while prayer is the most important thing you can do for someone, it can also be frustrating because you don't always see how the Lord is working in the lives of those you pray for.

But prayer works!


#5

OK, so I’ve gotten another voicemail from her Sunday night (I was at work). She clearly didn’t get back until much later in the day and while she acknowledged part of my voicemail (that I was sleeping when she initially called) she made no mention of my concern about Mass.

Do I bring this up to her when I next talk to her? Or do I just let it go since I’ve already said something in a message?


#6

[quote="nurseryworker, post:5, topic:204831"]
OK, so I've gotten another voicemail from her Sunday night (I was at work). She clearly didn't get back until much later in the day and while she acknowledged part of my voicemail (that I was sleeping when she initially called) she made no mention of my concern about Mass.

Do I bring this up to her when I next talk to her? Or do I just let it go since I've already said something in a message?

[/quote]

Saying something once is enough. After that it can become a source of stress in her feelings toward you and you don't want to harm your relationship with her. You definitely fulfilled your obligation as Godmother, but you can't *force *anyone to take action.
Encourage her in kindness and peace, but do NOT nag her... it's a fine line to balance between saying what needs to be said and going into nagging/annoyance because at that point you've damaged the relationship.
She heard what you said - be certain of that... her choice to not mention it in conversation was deliberate and is now between her and God. Pray for her to be strong enough to make good decisions in the future and help her find practical ways to follow through on her weekly obligation in the future.


#7

I agree with Em. You spoke your concern once, and encouraged her to go to mass, and she seems to have chosen not to. I wouldn’t bring this incident up again but just continue to be an example and a kind supportive voice to her when other situations come up. Maybe you can offer to go to mass with her and her son sometime if that is possible?


#8

That was the course of action I was leaning towards but wasn't sure if it was right. Thanks for the replies.

shannyk, I have offered to go to a parish that offers a late morning Mass that has more of a community feel. She says it's too far of a bus ride. I don't drive either or I'd offer to pick her up. She loved the priest and the parish where she converted but moved away shortly after she converted to a town that has only 1 church and few Mass times. She doesn't care for the parish - I've encouraged her to get involved, find something she does like, find a different parish, offer it up, look at it as a temptation to fall away, move back, action is more important than feeling - it's met with a lukewarm response or resistance (getting involved, introducing herself to the priest). These were friendly conversations and they came up on their own. I never push the issue. I guess I am just sad. She was so excited about becoming a Catholic.


#9

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