Mods, if this post is in the wrong section please move it for me. Thank you.
After resisting the call for many years I made the decision to return to Catholicism, the faith of my childhood, while standing at my dying father's bedside last October. Even after my dad's passing I continued to make lame excuses why I shouldn't.
One by one over the last few months I have overcome those silly and lame excuses. I'm very shy, so I reached out to long time friends of my husbands that I knew attended the local church. I now attend mass with them so I don't feel so awkward and out of place. We live on a farm and don't get a day off from work. The English mass happens to be during our busiest hour of the morning, so I talked it over with my husband and he agreed to take on twice the work. I didn't feel I had appropriate attire - farm clothes: overalls, t-shirts and shorts weren't going to cut it, so I bought myself a church wardrobe. I had no clue where my baptism occurred and with both my parents deceased I didn't know where to start my search. I reached out to a relative that I hadn't spoken with in many years who knew and I now have a copy of it. I had a very troubling issue that I couldn't face, my dad's passing and my part in enforcing his living will (long story), so I had a long discussion with the parish priest about it and I'm at peace with that now. I am now in RCIA classes. One by one, I have pushed my perceived obstacles aside and kept my eye on the goal - being in full communion with the Church.
Now I'm up against an obstacle that I see no way around, through or over and just feel like giving up. My husband and I have both been married before. Mine was a short marriage of convenience that was not consummated. I have no idea where my ex is now, but I'm told that getting an annulment shouldn't be as hard as my mind as made it out to be. The problem starts with getting our current marriage blessed by the church. My husband is Baptist and still very supportive of my reverting to Catholicism, but he won't now nor will he ever willing to deal with his ex wife to get their marriage annulled. He was married to her for 27 years. During the last ten years of his marriage she was repeatedly unfaithful and in our very small town everyone knew about it, but he stayed until his youngest child was grown and out on her own. He was very hurt that everyone was talking about it behind his back, but he was determined to look after his children. He even went so far as to continue to support his ex financially for two years after the divorce, but once it was over he was done with it. He refuses to even speak with her on the phone, let alone approach her about getting an annulment.
My husband is a very special person, but he is also very stubborn and slow to change or make up his mind about something, if he does at all. The family joke is that it takes him at least six months to decide to purchase a new package of undershirts. I should mention here that we are both in our 50s, don't have sexual relations and haven't for a couple of years, due to health issues on his part. We live together more like best friends and helpers. I love him and he loves me, we show affection with hugs and kisses and face life challenges together, but I know when his mind is made up about something and on the issue of the annulment his mind is made up.
Having said all that, why should I bother to continue to try and obtain full communion with the Church? Everyone tells me to prayer about it, talk to the priest about it, have faith. I have tried to do all that, but it's not going to change my husband's outlook. Why bother?