Offering a TRUCE & Appology and it not being granted


#1

Background -

I am a military & political blogger. I have a facebook page in which I post most of the stories I blog about. I recently became a Catholic Blogger as well, rounding out my beliefs in most of the stories I report on. The problem is this:

I have a few (5) family members (out of 253 friends & family) who do not share the same opinion as I in regards to ANYTHING I write about. Be it political (I’m Not fond of President Obama) to Military personal views on the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan and the huge GOOD strides they have been making in their efforts. Also, I have been commenting on the situation regarding Abortion in the HC Bill and my not supporting it and why along with what is going on regarding the Homosexual community in Washington DC and the effects to the Catholic organizations.

It got to the point where no matter what I would put on my fb page, they would have a problem with it and post snarky responses and the last straw was my niece telling me to shove my religion “Someplace” and my sister backing up her daughter. I decided to delete the 5 family members from my friend list because the problems just became to great to deal with anymore. It was very embarrassing at times to read what they were writing.

I felt miserable having to delete them. It hurt to do it but after several times of telling them that I was not posting for them, but for what I do, and not getting anywhere, I felt it was my only option.

Today, I sent a request to the family members asking for forgiveness for deleting them and asked them to forgive me for doing so. After seeing a few comments on others pages, I’m not sure they are so forgiving.

**My question is: **What does Jesus say in regards to asking for forgiveness and it not being granted by the people you ask forgiveness from?

I love everyone in my family and hold them, no matter their feelings about me or anything I write about, in my heart. I pray for them always.

Any advice would be appreciated.


#2

Jesus reminds us that the cost of following him may be alienation from our family (Matthew Chapter 10). He also tells us to shake the dust off our sandals when faced with those who refuse to hear (Mark 6:11).

So, basically, move on and ignore their childish behavior. You are not obligated to have them as friends on facebook merely because they are family if they fail to respect you and the boundaries you have established.


#3

You can only ask others to forgive you, you cannot control their response. If they decline, then there is nothing you can do about it, just pray for them and leave the door open if they have a change of heart later on.


#4

Thank you both VERY much. I will always keep them in prayer, no matter what. :slight_smile:

God bless you.


#5

i agree with 1ke. Facebook is your page. You don’t have to have them as friends just because they are family. and you don’t have to allow them to comment on your page. If you do add them back as friends then just restrict them from what they can do and see on your pages.


#6

The other possibility is that they don't think your apology is genuine, or that it is incomplete. Sometimes you need to go to a little more effoet to show that you are in fact sorry. You don't just say the words, or admit the intellectual principle, or even feel the feeling. Sometimes you have to DO something to heal the breach you've caused.

And FWIW, is blogging on politics and religion as important as maintaining good relationships with real people? Blogs tend to appeal to those who already agree with them, and can tend to encourage naval-gazing. Relationships with family and friends can actually cross boundaries and build bridges in many directions, and involve real love. They are outwardly, rather than inwardly, focused.


#7

Don't beat yourself too hard. What your niece said and your sister's backing it up was very offensive.


#8

Chevalier -

Thank you and I honestly was being mild to what was actually said. Its a sad situation all the way around. We (My family & I ) were all born into a strong Catholic family and rather then nurture their relationship with God, this is the path they have taken. I do pray for them and my hope is one day they will also have a conversion of heart as I have.

On the bright side - My apology was accepted by all but one. It is the first step to healing for all of us, I hope.

God bless all.


#9

First of all, how old are you? How old is your niece?

Second, if you are blogging about military issues, do you have a military background? Do any of the people who you’ve deleted have a military background?


#10

[quote="Norseman82, post:9, topic:180734"]
First of all, how old are you? How old is your niece?

Second, if you are blogging about military issues, do you have a military background? Do any of the people who you've deleted have a military background?

[/quote]

I am 43, my niece is 27. Yes - I I have a military background. My husband is now retired (this past April 09) USMC MSGT (23.5 years). We, together have seen Iraq first hand in 05-06.. I still have first hand accounts with current US Marines, US Army and their Family's, a few Gold Star Family's, a lot of Purple Heart Vets with working together with the Wounded Warrior Project and US Military who are in country (Iraq & Afghanistan).

My sister is a former Navy wife of 25 years, retired in 1990. My niece is a "Navy brat" who was to young to understand what the Military life was all about at the time of my Brother In Laws Retirement.

Either way, my faith has always come first.


#11

[quote="Mikulas_Niece, post:1, topic:180734"]
Background -

I am a military & political blogger. I have a facebook page in which I post most of the stories I blog about. I recently became a Catholic Blogger as well, rounding out my beliefs in most of the stories I report on. The problem is this:

I have a few (5) family members (out of 253 friends & family) who do not share the same opinion as I in regards to ANYTHING I write about. Be it political (I'm Not fond of President Obama) to Military personal views on the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan and the huge GOOD strides they have been making in their efforts. Also, I have been commenting on the situation regarding Abortion in the HC Bill and my not supporting it and why along with what is going on regarding the Homosexual community in Washington DC and the effects to the Catholic organizations.

It got to the point where no matter what I would put on my fb page, they would have a problem with it and post snarky responses and the last straw was my niece telling me to shove my religion "Someplace" and my sister backing up her daughter. I decided to delete the 5 family members from my friend list because the problems just became to great to deal with anymore. It was very embarrassing at times to read what they were writing.

I felt miserable having to delete them. It hurt to do it but after several times of telling them that I was not posting for them, but for what I do, and not getting anywhere, I felt it was my only option.

Today, I sent a request to the family members asking for forgiveness for deleting them and asked them to forgive me for doing so. After seeing a few comments on others pages, I'm not sure they are so forgiving.

**My question is: **What does Jesus say in regards to asking for forgiveness and it not being granted by the people you ask forgiveness from?

I love everyone in my family and hold them, no matter their feelings about me or anything I write about, in my heart. I pray for them always.

Any advice would be appreciated.

[/quote]

Count yourself blessed you have so few 'dissenters' in the ranks and pray for them.


#12

[quote="Mikulas_Niece, post:8, topic:180734"]
Chevalier -

Thank you and I honestly was being mild to what was actually said. Its a sad situation all the way around. We (My family & I ) were all born into a strong Catholic family and rather then nurture their relationship with God, this is the path they have taken. I do pray for them and my hope is one day they will also have a conversion of heart as I have.

On the bright side - My apology was accepted by all but one. It is the first step to healing for all of us, I hope.

God bless all.

[/quote]

Would hate to contribute to a rift between you and your family, but you can't take it all on yourself in disagreements, especially when it's clearly they who are in the wrong and you're at most guilty of (slight at most) overreaction. Your niece needs to brush up on manners and I'd hate to talk ill about your sister, but if she sees nothing wrong in that kind of insolence on the part of her daughter, then she does have a problem. It may be healthy for you to reduce contact, I think. I wouldn't really love spending time with someone who talked like that about my religion or even just about me (in order of importance), even someone from my family. By the way, atheists *can *get more kindness out of themselves if they care. I know some who are tactful about it. Being an atheist and/or liberal is no excuse to talk like that and a well-brought-up young lady should never talk like that to her aunt, no matter the subject. Please understand this isn't to drive a wedge between you and your family, but just to show you that you aren't the culprit there.


#13

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