Offering my sufferings to Lord Failure (?)No joy


Hi all. I would like some encouragement, my heart is fragile at the moment. Yesterday at work I suffered so immensely at the hurtful behavior of a coworker that I actually went home crying and fought tears a bit at my desk. This happens occasionally. I’m at one of those jobs you can’t leave because of the enormous multiple benefits to my family. Also at a job where HR is known to not take action for ppl at the liw end of the totem pole and in my case they know the issue has been going on and gave done nothing.
The worst part is the spiritual problem I’m seeing. After I offered my pain/tears/anguish of this hopeless situation to a particular intention meaningful to me, I felt like my suffering, and the intention which I offered didn’t count. Because I cried, and didn’t suffer in joy.
My husband said it doesn’t matter but I think he may be being polite. Arent I to suffer with peaceful joy? Not cry like an oversensitive person?
I still love and seek the Lord. Thank you all who read this far. As an aside, I have low blood pressure so sometimes it’s freezing outside and Ill smile and offer that suffering for the Lord or an intention as I walk numb. I feel my spirit showed me the difference.


Even though you take no joy in suffering, it still counts when you offer your suffering to the Lord.


Although Christ calls us to be meek, that doesent mean being a doormat… I dont know your company, but unless it would endanger your job, I’d go raise some heck at the HR office


Thank you. The moment she finds out I went to HR it will make it worse. I stuck up for myself yesterday but still felt hurt. We sit next to each other. Thank you


A clear:“That offends me!” protects your integrity and dignity.

If your are being provoked the objective is to have an effect you you. Deny them the effect! Don’t expect changes or compromise, simply set a clear limit without getting involved in any “false conversation”. A short&dry&polite stop like:“That’s just rude” ending the conversation without further elaboration is best at that given moment.

Remember, if they succeeded in irritating you causing you wrath they already won! After that comes the urge for revenge and hate. You have to stop it the very moment you feel the first sign of irritation.

And “stopping it” requires a clear:“STOP!” without further elaboration. Be calm and strong and prepared beforehand.

There are worst things e.g.: A person seeming to be nice for a prolonged time only to betray you latter on…


Thank you. As far as how to handle it I opened a topic a few weeks ago. I really appreciate your advice!. I do walk away and things like that, I have set my foot down. But when I suffer hurt, even with tears it’s not joyful is my immediate concern so when I offer it up I am hesitant of the value.


Suffering, tears, lack of joy “add value” to the offer. Faith and hope, charity and mercy, increase in merit in these circumstances.

The main thing is this: Keep united with Christ in the ordeal, keeping this unity is the best guarantee the offering is pleasing to the Lord. So, keeping united to Him implies avoiding (as much as possible) getting tempted into sin, and that’s why you must not give in to wrath - just remember not to compromise your dignity&integrity avoiding getting dragged into conflict.


I will keep this in mind, thank you very much.


Hi. You know as I reread this I can see myself doing this but not sure how to stop myself from getting irritated or frankly wrathful. I can do just as you suggest, which is a wise suggestion but I feel I dint have control over those feelings which I control outwardly but can’t inwardly. Thank you again for your thoughtful response.


There is an old adage that goes like this: “A clown will be a clown as long as he as an audience”.

I suggest ignoring the co-worker and if she persists remain calm. If you have to curl your toes, not too painful but enough to be aware to keep yourself from speaking, do it. Ignoring someone is one of the best actions you can take against a bully. And remember she is the one that is the problem, not you. Her being mean is the way she lives and most definitely she is being mean to other people. Not just you. Remain calm and show it doesn’t affect you whatsoever. And remember, no amount of benefits is worth the stress you are under. No, it isn’t. Your well being is very important. God will open doors for you if you were to quit. Believe it.

And believe when you are suffering, crying, or feel horrible, and you offer it up, it counts. IMO, probably more so since you are in that kind of, “pain” and you do it. It’s hard to “offer up” when you’re in an emotional upheaval or in physical pain. I’m pretty sure God understands that and smiles at you even more for it.


Thank you for this so much. She actually was super nice to me today for a moment and she seemed so genuine I asked the Lord to help my confusion. I remember the scripture verse that Jesus “did not entrust Himself to them because He knew what was in mens hearts”. I dont trust her she can be rude again tomorrow. Ofcourse I was kind to her because it just felt natural, a bit reserved but kind.


I sincerely think what you were searching for the following:

Mt.9:13:" I will have mercy, and not sacrifice" [this is KJV of the bible, in other translations the sense is: (The Lord)"…prefer mercy over sacrifice"]

A concrete example, taking from “The Story of a Soul” by saint Theresia of Lisieux: Go to manuscript C, leaf nº28-back, where she recounts the story of “Sister St.Peter”…The leafs before this nº28 seem to serve as a nice build-up/introduction. And this was at an advanced stage of S.Theresia’s spiritual maturing!

Well, it seems you are being called not only to sacrifice but to mercy!! Very current since just recently pope Francis declared the “Jubilee year of Mercy”.

I’ll let you revisit Saint Theresia’s words (and spare you my jabber) as I’m sure she’ll say what you need to hear.


That’s the way to be, but, don’t let your guard down. Being kind was showing her that you are a child of God. I’m glad you got a reprieve. Perhaps God is working on her.

And I’ll be honest, I’m a former Director of a Mental Facility so that will be a kabillion dollars!! I kid, I kid, about the money. The other is true. :grinning:

We should remember that God has more mercy than we give Him credit. I’m always reminding myself about that too. It’s great that you offer up. I forgot to tell you that I offer up when I’m at my lowest. And I like what Adgloriam said too.

Pray to Michael the Archangel before you go to work and ask for protection. To have another good day. I will pray too.



God bless you, thank you so much for your lovely encouragement.


It’s hard.
Takes practice.
Takes trying again.
Takes a lot of “chattering” with God.

But we must be at least willing to not expect any concomitant “joy” or consolation at all when we offer ourselves.

Look at our Lord…30 years of hidden gift and ordinary labor. 3 years of public ministry.
…all that work, all those walked miles, all that healing, all that teaching and encouraging, all that feeding, 3 years…and what did He see when He looked out upon Calvary?

His Mom, a few women, and St John…and a good thief (and likely Joseph of Arimathea).


Jesus wept at the death of Lazarus. And there was no joy in his suffering in Gethsemane. Nothing oversensitive about it.

And peaceful joy? I see very little peace and still leas joy in the Gospel accounts of the Passion. To be peaceful and joy-filled at the idea of suffering can indicate mental illneas rather than holiness.


Priests said that sometimes we have temptations so that we don’t become proud in our faith. Like sometimes you can’t suffer with joy you just suffer just to be reminded that you need the Lord’s help and fatherly love. This when stronger demons are sent to us and our bitterness overcomes us and we realize our faith is weak. It’s important to stay meek, accept what you learnt about yourself and ask God for help.
Maybe you just tried too hard for you right now. The Lord knows what you want (that intention important to you). Just because you don’t feel like you can’t dedicate to it doesn’t mean that is what’s really going on. I am like that too. Easily cry. That is just me. It’s not necessarily a bad thing. I can’t change over nigh. I say the Jesus Prayer now and I am capable of ignoring nasty things at work and scheming that might going on behind my back and that I so strongly really don’t want to know or care about. HR is usually very slow in most companies because they want to keep things smooth and await for conflicts to end. In a way I understand them. We are grownups and we’re not in school anymore, we have to handle things on our own.
I only recommend ignoring that colleague. Concentrate on your family, faith, Christmas, anything else. If you are as emotional as me then I don’t see you coming to an end to that problem any time soon. :hugs:
I pray your intention is heard and fulfilled by God.
For low blood pressure (I have that too) - red wine and avoid drinking too much coffee.
The sun is always shining even when we don’t see it.


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