[quote="wags, post:1, topic:215960"]
I know it's a pretty loaded question, but is there anything wrong or immoral with a dating couple to travel together?
My girlfriend and I are both in our mid twenties and committed to having a chaste relationship. In the six months that we've been dating, we have respected the boundaries that we established early on. We want to be able to look back and not have any regrets, knowing that we always did the right thing.
We have gone on one bigger trip for a few days to attend a wedding. This upcoming trip I had in mind would be a little different because it would be completely for leisure and it would be "just us" for the duration of it. Work is sending me away for a seminar during the week and I would love to spend some extra time in that area so it would be easy to push back the return flight until after the weekend. Is there anything wrong with her joining me for that weekend?
We are conscious of avoiding that "near occasion" of sin so things like separate accommodations would be arranged. Sometimes I feel as though all this always-striving-to-do-what-is-right makes us overly scrupulous.
I'm really hoping to make this work, and she is hesitant. Can a mini vacation like this be had now or does it all have to wait until after marriage?
I'm eager to hear your thoughts, especially in regards to what the Church teaches! Thanks.
If you can afford the separate accomidations, it may work. My husband studied abroad in Oxford and was planning to do so for two semesters. He kept encouraging me in his second semester to take a trip to visit him and that we'd make arrangements. I was very concerned about sleeping accomodations and the cost. He was really upset because there was a reunion the University I had graduated from and I wanted to go to that instead. This was sort of an issue where I just felt I shouldn't be acting like our lives revolve around each other. I always felt in dating that we needed to keep a sort of emotional distance so that we could discern marriage and not blur the line between a courtship and a marriage. Finally he just got so upset that he admitted to me that he had been making tenative plans to propose to me in Rome and my stubbornness and overanalyzing was ruining it.
In the end, I did miss out of a very romantic proposal.
I think couples can rush into commitment and can prolong their dating relationships unecessarily at time to really just go after emotional intimacy while still being sort of up in the air about the marriage thing. I think its important to really figure out where you are and to communicate it to each other. When I was dating my husband, I felt that the proposal was in his camp. I always worked to prepare myself for an eventual break up on his end and to not jump ahead of myself about the possibility of marrying him. I still did end up with a bit of a surprise proposal. We never had a phase where we had decided we would get married and I was just waiting for a romantic proposal for the sake of tradition and romance. We talked about marriage because we were discerning it, but he kept me a bit in the dark over where he was in the discerning process.
I have plenty of friends though who knew they were planning to marry before the proposal actually came and it did help for arranging a more romantic proposal, as opposed to me fighting him against it the entire way.
If both of you are on the same page about where this relationship is leading and that engagement and marriage could be in the near future than traveling together while being prudent in other ways, may be ok. Just make sure she's not anxious about emotional immodesty and other issues like that. Chastity isn't just about what you're physically not doing.