OK within marriage?


#1

Is it morally permissible to engage in oral sex with one’s spouse?


#2

I’m pretty sure it’s not okay because it takes away from the unitive act of actual sex. Also, a man is “spilling his seed,” and is therefore wasting it. It’s comparible to the sin of Onan.


#3

That’s what I thought, but I’m still not sure. Does anyone know the official teaching on this? I tried to look it up in the Catechism, but that only made me more confused. :confused:


#4

As long as it is not intended to replace the true marital act, and the end result is intercourse that is open to life (the man does not receive oral sex to the point of climax) and both husband and wife are comfortable - it is not sin. Okay as foreplay, not as a substitute for intercourse.


#5

It’s OK as foreplay, but not as a substitute for the real thing.


#6

[size=2]It may or may not be covered in HUMANAE VITAE but it is worth a read anyway. You might be able to glean a lot more from this than from the CCC.[/size]

ewtn.com/library/ENCYC/P6HUMANA.HTM

I have read some faithful Catholics claim that it is fine as long as the couple completes the conjugal act in such a way that the possibility of life is preserved.

Remember, what I am saying comes from Catholics whose faithful adherance to the teaching of the Church I trust. It is NOT from the Church itself. Keep that in mind and hopefully someone will take this topic home as far as what the Church says.


#7

there’s a book by Christopher West, I think, called “the Good news about sex and marriage”. My husband read it and it says oral sex is perfectly fine as long as it isn’t a substitute for regular intercourse. It is fine as foreplay and afterplay, and there is nothing wrong with a man ejaculating outside the vagina as long as he intends to later (or has already done so) ejaculate in the vagina.


#8

That makes a lot of sense. Thank you for your responses!

One more question: Is it EVER ok to substitute for intercourse, say if the wife is pregnant and SO not in the mood for months at a time? If she’s pregnant, then the couple is obviously open to life, right?


#9

Theology of the Body is by JPII, very good reading!

A bit on the subject usccb.org/education/catechetics/jpiitheo.htm


#10

And a thought on the wife not “being in the mood for months at a time” due to pregnancy - no man has ever ever ever died from going without sex for a few months! Her hormones will change during the pregnancy, and get back to normal later. Oral sex is not to be a substitute - Read JPIIs writings on marriage - they are beautiful and he is a faithful Catholic!


#11

WOW–what a personal topic!

I personally, think it’s totally O.K. and couples should not be so hung up on the issue. I think it only really becomes a problem if it totally begins to turn into something weird, where not desiring “normal” sex anymore happens–where other weird stuff takes precedence, etc. etc. and one partner starts really getting all mixed up in one way or another. Actually now that I’m typing this–if OS causes this to happen at all—maybe it’s not right. I dunno. I just sort of always thought that any lovemaking between husband and wife is completely O.K., as long as they truly, love, cherish, and respect each other and each other’s bodies.

I do know many men can be very perverted though, have a friend whose husband, that’s all he wanted------so it’s a hard call.

Good Luck~~~~ I wouldn’t fret about too much —if you have a good marriage–that’s what the Lord desires for us~~

God Bless~~


#12

We do it as foreplay only.

I am pregnant also and can relate to the fatigue; however, I personally think that giving oral sex is much more time consuming and physically taxing than regular sex.

Just my opinion!

Take care and all the best with your new baby…

Carrie


#13

man and wife = union of two, the church makes three… what we do in the bedroom to bring pleasure to each other is our business…not the churchs’. God brought us together, we married in his church… the superfreaky part is part of us - we share with each other, we enjoy each others bodies, and is private between us only.
thats not a sin, not a chance.

oral sex being sinful doesn’t pass the laugh test.


#14

[quote=Minerva]there’s a book by Christopher West, I think, called “the Good news about sex and marriage”. My husband read it and it says oral sex is perfectly fine as long as it isn’t a substitute for regular intercourse. It is fine as foreplay and afterplay, and there is nothing wrong with a man ejaculating outside the vagina as long as he intends to later (or has already done so) ejaculate in the vagina.
[/quote]

what about bringing the woman to oral orgasm before intercourse… sinful?


#15

Well bringing the woman to orgasm before intercourse would be permissible, due to the fact that it would help with the procreative portion of intercourse (via opening the cervix and making it easier to conceive) and the emotional bond. Hmm, almost sounds like it would be required, lol.


#16

Sorry Minerva - it is wrong for the man to climax outside of the vagina whether he intends to do so later or not. This is a direct qoute from “The Good News about Sex and Marriage” by Christopher West.
“Oral copulation(that is, to the point of ejaculation) is simply not marital…It is the consummation of nothing. It involves a severance of the pleasure of orgasm from the responsibility of fertility. It fosters a husband’s tendency to objectify his wife. For these reasons, it does not and cannot symbolize and participate in the free, total, faithful and fruitful love of God. It does not and cannot symbolize the marriage bond or renew a couple’s vows.”

And thechrismyster Christopher West says," It is not wrong if the wife achieves climax as a result of oral stimulation, so long as it is within the context of a completed act of intercourse."


#17

[quote=Chauncey]Sorry Minerva - it is wrong for the man to climax outside of the vagina whether he intends to do so later or not. This is a direct qoute from “The Good News about Sex and Marriage” by Christopher West.
“Oral copulation(that is, to the point of ejaculation) is simply not marital…It is the consummation of nothing. It involves a severance of the pleasure of orgasm from the responsibility of fertility. It fosters a husband’s tendency to objectify his wife. For these reasons, it does not and cannot symbolize and participate in the free, total, faithful and fruitful love of God. It does not and cannot symbolize the marriage bond or renew a couple’s vows.”

And thechrismyster Christopher West says," It is not wrong if the wife achieves climax as a result of oral stimulation, so long as it is within the context of a completed act of intercourse."
[/quote]

In my opinion, Christopher West sounds REALLY wrong and misguided…
that quotes the authors opinion and interpretation… not church teaching.

and if you look at his website he’s also quite a salesman. his opinion is his product.
“His books, extensive lecturing, numerous tapes, and his radio and TV appearances have sparked an international groundswell of interest in John Paul II’s theology of the body”


#18

Chris,

What church teaching are you talking about?


#19

This question was asked about 4-5 days ago in the AAA forum. :slight_smile:


#20

good question, where can one find the theology of oral?


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