I'm getting married this November.
To help with planning and guest notification, we use Facebook for instant communication with about two-thirds of the invitees.
For those of you who haven't used Facebook, it's a social interaction web site. You are a presence there, as others do, where you or anyone can talk or comment about anything as a group. It's similar to how this forum works, but more dynamic and less question-and-answer.
Here's the problem. The internet has a tendency to make people either speak their minds sincerely, or just rant without justification, on their own personal, uninformed authority. Facebook is no exception. With the latest wave of priest scandals in the Church, some of our wedding invitees seem more than willing to make *very *harsh and very untruthful commentaries on the Catholic faith.
These people also seem oblivious to the fact that they are being invited to a Catholic nuptial Mass. With lots of Catholics and other Christians. More so, the posters of insults seem oblivious to the fact that my fiancee and I can *see *their brusque, uncharitable opinions when posted to many mutual friends of Facebook.
I know what my fiancee will say on this: We can't and shouldn't "uninvite" people just because they have a differing opinion. I tend to agree. But when the disagreement changes into outright hostility on the Church, it begins to chafe or even cut at my personal conviction to the Church and our Lord.
A wedding is meant as a happy time. But I would also expect my friends--*our *friends--to have the civility to keep their opinions civil. One of my groomsmen is an atheist. He is a close friend, despite this, because he knows the boundaries. He has dropped everything to go to funeral Masses of mutual friends because he is respectful. For a guy that believes more in the Flying Spaghetti Monster than God, he is a good man, and is more representative of the friends on my side of the aisle.
It is easy to make "friends" on Facebook. These are, more often than not, mere acquaintances--friends of other friends you may never meet. Most of my friends are actually friends that I speak to without having some "internet persona", the pseudo-anonymity of the Internet that compels people to say things online that you would never, ever, say to my face. Many of my fiancee's friends are the ones who I have troubles with their opinions.
So, what would be the best tact to take?
Should I send a private message to those who seem to dislike the Church so much that they'd spontaneously combust on entering one? Ask them either to be less brusque or charitable in their comments, or even decline coming to the wedding?
Should I just toughen my skin and just ignore it?
Should we just dis-invite those who are troublesome (against the rules of wedding etiquette)?
Should I make a open letter to all my friends suggesting that, "If you can't be civil about our faith, please don't come to the wedding as you are doing a disservice to the bride and groom, not to mention your own criticisms"?
I know what I would do if I were the only person making this decision. I'm not, however. I need for my bride and I to be unified in this. She and I should make a stand for our faith for important reasons, I think. Thanks in advance for your charitable responses.