As a Lutheran Missouri Synod married to a Catholic, who was lapsed when we married and agreed to basically “be” Lutheran, then changed his mind 8 months into our going on 9 years marriage, I would phrase his comment this way:
If your boyfriend is smart, and doesn’t want his life dictated by the phrase “because the Catholic Church says so”, he would not marry a Catholic.
We are making it work, and honestly 6-7 years ago I would have argued that an interdenominational marriage can work…it frankly SUCKS in a lot of ways.
I was fine with NFP before our first kid…it’s failure led to #2 sooner than planned. Now I’m done having kids, two extremely hard pregnancies, and coping with PPD and PPA afterwards are just too much to go through again. My husband is adamantly against me being permanently sterilized. So basically we are abstaining, apparently we will be for a LOOOONG time. Fun Times, and really tough on our marriage.
Issues we have now range from how to raise the kids, where to go to church on holidays, his inability to miss mass for ANYTHING, including a vacation, decorating (seriously how many crucifixes can you hang in a house…). It has become the biggest single hurdle in our marriage.
People on this sight will paint NFP like it’s some sort of solve all problem in marriage…it makes you closer, you will show your love more…etc. It’s not true. It’s work, EVERYDAY. You will have to do some combination of the following: chart, take your temp, pee in a cup, buy monitors, check your mucus level etc. It’s basically a TON of work. I did it for a cumulative total of three years. You have to be very cautious and if you really want to avoid you are limited to days you can have sex, and you cannot make exceptions. period. I know, we messed up one time…and had #2.
This will probably not dissuade you. I know I fought tooth and nail telling people they could make it work and to go for it when we were first married. Now…I say run for the hills to the non catholic spouse. It’s actually kind of sad…because I used to think the Catholic Church was beautiful and had wonderful tradition…now all I think when is how much pain it’s brought to my marriage with it’s no compromise, no negotiation, no quarter stance.
Also, many people here will also tell you these happy fuzzy stories about how it was tough in an interfaith marriage, but eventually their spouse went through RCIA, and now everything is rainbows and unicorns. This may happen for some, but for many it doesn’t. So don’t hope for it…because it’s unfair to you and your boyfriend. I’ve also talked to many people in my husbands parish that converted simply to keep the peace, but will freely admit it wasn’t what they wanted. You don’t want that either.
So think about it carefully before you do this and get TON’s of counseling, from someone not in the Catholic Church, before moving forward.