I'm hoping there are a few God centered people out there that will read this and reply from an objective, holy perspective.
I will try to be brief although the problem is compounded by many issues. My first marriage was annulled, we had 2 children. The guilt over the end of that marriage was unbearable for many years. We both are to blame for a lot of it but I am the one that left and was unwilling to work on it. The guilt of that haunted me for a very long time.
I remarried a man from a different cultural background although I fell in love with him because of his "devout" catholic faith, which I believed to be true. We have two young children. Since we have gotten married he has pushed me away physically and emotionally although I strived very hard to make him happy although I'm no saint. I'm sure I got on his nerves always nagging him for help with the kids or his attention. he spent a LOT of time on the internet and phone. He went back home to visit his family last year and I thought little of it. Through December and January he was acting very strange and paranoid which escalated into a full blown psychotic episode during which time he confessed his multitude of sins to me, including his long term affair with a woman at home who was expecting his child (she gave birth last week). He has been with her since before we got married but he is not married to her. He lied about his family origins, his father was a polygamist and his mother was wife #4. He told me he had one sister, but he has 14. He told me he was a virgin when we met and waiting for the call to the priesthood, turns out he's been quite a lady's man. All of these confessions have been verified. He was a "devout" catholic who wanted me to move back to his country and live "in harmony" with our children, his gf and their child. WHAT???!#$%##@
I put him into the hospital (302'd him) twice. He was diagnosed with schizophrenia. There was no sign of it until recent events. He has never hurt me or the kids to date. He's medicated now and back in his home country after I was having trouble coping with daily life and just bought him a plane ticket to get away from us for now. His family doesn't believe he's sick. They are convinced he is being attacked by demons. We've been down that road, he's been to all kinds of churches for prayer and fasting despite my insistence that he stay away from non Catholic answers to his problems. This is not demons. I believe that can happen but in this situation, it is mental illness. Given the fact that schizophrenics often stop taking medication because they think they're fine, it is crucial his family stop telling him he's not sick. They don't listen to me.
He claims to have repented, confessed and sees how wrong he has been ... now that he's losing his family of course. He does seem truly sorry although the issues are too plentiful for me to believe there's any future. Trust has been broken so badly. How can I trust he's really sorry and these things will not repeat themselves? If he were just sick, we could see psychiatrists, adhere to therapy, be faithful with the medication etc. If he were just a cheater or lies/secrets, we could go to retrouvaille or another Catholic marriage program and work on it. It's not that simple and there are four children involved now.
I keep reading about saints who have suffered through terrible marriages and they didn't divorce. (St. Monica, St. Rita Cascia, etc.) They stuck it out and continued to pray for their spouse. I feel that I must forgive him as a Christian. I also feel that I have to care for him, he is sick. Of course my friends and family insist that I leave him and never look back which is easy for them to say. They've never loved him. They never married him. They're not committed to him through the bonds of marriage. My priest even said I should run away.
I know many of you will agree with them. That's fine. The majority of the time, I also agree with them. I'm not afraid of being alone. I'm not afraid of raising the kids by myself. I want what's best for the kids and I want to do what's morally right here. I've been praying and fasting also, the answers I get from God are all about forgiveness. If we can overcome these things, anyone can overcome their marital difficulties lol. The question is, what is the right thing to do here? (Before you say it, I realize I need counseling and am searching for one.) I think I have more secular advice then I cared for. It seems everyone has an opinion. I'm really interested in spiritual advice here.
Thank you in advance for any help you can provide to me.