- The figures revealed that on average men lead more solitary lives than women
- But they tended not to share their feelings as much because of stigma attached
- Men form most friendships at work which often leads to isolation in retirement
I’m so glad I was blessed with six sons.
They do share life with each other and their brother-in-law and believe it helps to combat loneliness (and other issues as well).
In my observation, when a couple gets married, the wife is the one who keeps the friendships going. If the wife leaves, dies, or otherwise can’t handle managing the social life of the family, it ends.
My father seemed to not have any friends - I always thought that was weird.
One factor that doesn’t get a lot of attention is the degree to which some wives and girlfriends will cut men off from their friends . I’ve seen this happen a few times. Most couples work this out, but some don’t. My best friends are valuable men and I feel blessed they’re in my life so if I ran into a woman like that, I would be prepared to defend the friendships and if she kept going at them, I’d invite her to the door.
Men sometimes do that, too. They find fault with all her friends and openly make her choose, or passively resist any attempts to get together with her friends and their husbands.
Now that you know one and five men don’t have any friends do you still think your father not having any is “weird” (oh how I hate that word, there is something cruel about it)?
I think it’s strange/peculiar/requires some explanation when a person has no friends at all, yes.
Requires an explanation? Really? The only person who may deserve an explanation is the wife. It’s not strange or peculiar. Sounds a bit judgmental.
Not only that but if something applies to twenty percent of the population, in this case men, it’s common and not peculiar or unusual.
Does everyone not need friendship in their life? That’s my premise here and I thought it was an uncontroversial one. Are you saying that as long as a man is married he has no need of male friends?
Humans are primates and therefore by definition social creatures. It seems unnatural and unhealthy to me to be completely friendless.
It doesn’t require an explanation to you or anyone else. Not everyone needs or wants friends in their life outside of family.
I once read about a study that stated that when wives died first, husbands followed within six months at a very high rate.
It was attributed to the fact that in most relationships wives were the keeper of the social calendar. And the men no longer participated in friendships after their wives death.
And if a man had an active life before her death, unrelated to her life, his health was less effected.
My Dad goes to work 40+ hours a week. However, he is a very private person and doesn’t socialize much.
This makes sense to me. I myself am a very introverted person. My husband is much more social than I am. Going out in big social groups to me feels very exhausting and daunting. I can imagine if he were to pass away first, my circle will be becoming smaller. Because in all honesty I am just not as social as him
Thinking of this statement on a personal level. I kind of agree with you but, only for myself. Sometimes I do feel peculiar about my inability to socialize in outside relationships. But, that does not mean that is the same for all people who don’t have many friends. When I was growing up, I grew up in a very messy house, that I was ashamed of. Which limited my abilities to host my own friends over in a comfortable and fun manner. My mother would come up with an excuse of “If people want to come over, then they should be over to see you, and not care about the state of the house” but, truly that is a load of hogwash. I think that my lack of freedom to host friendships, when I was learning to socialize during my developmental years. Spills over to my personality to this day. And it does make me feel somewhat peculiar socializing in friendships and being a hostess. On the flip side though, my house as an adult, is super clean. Floors are picked up, dishes, washed, laundry is cleaned and folded, bathroom is cleaned, beds are made. But I still have a hard time socializing with people in my home setting. My husband has taken on the role in keeping us social.
Maybe I just need a psychiatrist
I can definitely see that as being true. I have friends: one since Kindergarten, a few from work, some from Church that I keep in touch with even after all these years. Hubby does have those from work he keeps in touch with but really doesn’t get together with them but maybe once a year. Other than that he doesn’t have a “FRIEND” he can just call up when he needs to talk like I do
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