Online Dating~Girl's rant


#1

Ok, as a 27yo New Englander I HAVE to rant. Maybe it’s the snow up to my eyes.

  1. If it’s a Catholic site, then I expect you to BE Catholic. Period. If you disagree with the Pope over trival things, that’s ok, disagreeing with the Magesterium over moral matters is unacceptable.

  2. For heven’s sake show me you’ve done SOMETHING with your life. If you live with your mother/sister/brother/family and are over 25 then you’d better be caring for THEM. If you’re halfway through you’re bachellor’s at 30 and never done much with your life than please tell me just HOW you plan to support that family you say you want.

  3. In relation to number 2. If you want me to be your woman, have kids, homeschool and run a house I’m dang-blasted NOT going to be working, too. So find a job that will support a family BEFORE you join a dating site. Where did you/how are you comming up with that money?

  4. If you DON’T want to move or can’t move (eg. own a farm) and want to stay on it until you die, then don’t say you’re willing to move. It’s not cute or romantic, it’s annoying.

  5. Do not beg. Do not say you’re perfect. Do not play games, and if we’ve written a few times and aren’t interested than SAY that. Don’t write me weekly with another excuse…if you are interested than give me more than a 2 liner. Mmmmm…k?

  6. For heaven’s sake. I do not want to see a picture of your mother/ex/sister/cousin with you. Atleast not right away. I would love to share pictures…eventually. And if it aint your kid then I don’t need to see him/her right away, either.

:o Maybe I’m asking too much.


#2

[quote="SeaShoreGirl, post:1, topic:227988"]
Ok, as a 27yo New Englander I HAVE to rant. Maybe it's the snow up to my eyes.

1) If it's a Catholic site, then I expect you to BE Catholic. Period. If you disagree with the Pope over trival things, that's ok, disagreeing with the Magesterium over moral matters is unacceptable.

That's to be expected. You're just going to have to move on and find someone else if you're not willing to wait for them to come to see the truth.

2) For heven's sake show me you've done SOMETHING with your life. If you live with your mother/sister/brother/family and are over 25 then you'd better be caring for THEM. If you're halfway through you're bachellor's at 30 and never done much with your life than please tell me just HOW you plan to support that family you say you want.

That's rather harsh... But different strokes for different folks I guess.

3) In relation to number 2. If you want me to be your woman, have kids, homeschool and run a house I'm dang-blasted NOT going to be working, too. So find a job that will support a family BEFORE you join a dating site. Where did you/how are you comming up with that money?

Same response as number 2.

4) If you DON'T want to move or can't move (eg. own a farm) and want to stay on it until you die, then don't say you're willing to move. It's not cute or romantic, it's annoying.

That's a valid argument I suppose.

5) Do not beg. Do not say you're perfect. Do not play games, and if we've written a few times and aren't interested than SAY that. Don't write me weekly with another excuse...if you are interested than give me more than a 2 liner. Mmmmm..k?

If you see this happening, it would be best to move on instantly. Red flags are almost always a reason to break it off.

6) For heaven's sake. I do not want to see a picture of your mother/ex/sister/cousin with you. Atleast not right away. I would love to share pictures....eventually. And if it aint your kid then I don't need to see him/her right away, either.

This sounds a bit unreasonable to me. Why does it matter if a friend/ex/relative/what have you is in a picture with them?

:o Maybe I'm asking too much.

[/quote]

It doesn't seem like you're asking for too much, it just seems like you're coming across as pretentious. Some of your reasons for rejecting people seem sort of irrational and unnecessarily harsh. Do you know specifically why someone would live with their parents, and if they do, why is that such a bad thing? It's not like everyone plans to live with their parents anyways.


#3

LOL

I relate to #1 SO MUCH. Although I haven’t been Catholic long. Before I used to be on a dating site and I made it CLEAR in my profile that I was only interested in Christian fellows… I had guys messaging me who didn’t even BELIEVE in God… and one guy who believed in a higher power but had never stepped foot into a church in his LIFE. After awhile I gave up on the online thing completely because my version of Christian and the general public version of Christian didn’t mean the same thing. :shrug:


#4

I think most of these cross over to " we met at a grocery store" dating stories too.

This isn’t just online dating.


#5

This sounds a bit unreasonable to me. Why does it matter if a friend/ex/relative/what have you is in a picture with them?

They are trying to look cutesy, I guess? It is really distracting to me and just indicates some attachments that take presidence in thier lives OVER their dating. I am ALL for family...the bigger the better...but I want to meet the person and "be introduced" to their family.

That's rather harsh... But different strokes for different folks I guess.

So what would you suggest when a guy with barley a HS education and no skill (farming/poliece/army/horse trainer/gunsmith/mechanic) a profile that states he wants as many kids as possible? Or a guy who has never lived by himself saying that he wants to run a household?


#6

You just made my day, SeaShoreGirl.

:hug1:


#7

I’m a New England boy, and I have to rant.

  1. Most Catholics don’t agree 100 percent with the church teachings. It’s just the way of things. Not saying it’s good, it’s just to be expected.

  2. Then expand your search criteria to those that reach it. Since those people don’t meet your standards, instead of complaining about it anonymously on the internet, just ignore requests from them. True, you might be missing a great catch, but those people might be in ::gasp:: transition.

  3. Maybe getting a job and helping with income isn’t such a bad idea. If your determined to be homeschooling/mom/wife, than land someone with an income who can support that.

  4. It’s also annoying to read these rants about people who can’t find love online.

  5. Maybe I’m shy and don’t want to come on too strong. Maybe I’m trying to be a gentlemen. Ever think of that? Maybe if I write alot to your response, you’ll think I’m coming on too strong or something.

  6. I like sharing pictures. It shows me your not some whacked out loser who spends all their time on the internet and can’t function in the real world.

Not what you wanted to hear, I assume. But if I posted something negative and whiny and labled it a “boy rant” what would people say?

Good luck to you.

Caveat-I’m 31, make a great income, love being single, don’t live with my parents, am working on an advanced degree, and have met many woman through Catholic dating sites. None have met my standards of marriage, though one came close.

Cheers.


#8

Rascal, only the OP had rant rights as it is her thread. Start your own. :stuck_out_tongue:


#9

:wink:


#10

lol Rascal can rant…though I think he should come up with his OWN set of things, not copy mine :stuck_out_tongue:


#11

Imitation is flattery, remember that! :wink:


#12

:smiley: Good thread & thanks for the giggles.


#13

Haha, Amen!

:smiley:


#14

Hey now! I did not come here to be made sport of! :wink:


#15

I know. It’s why you get up in the morning :stuck_out_tongue:


#16

I had to chuckle at your post. I’m betting that there are a lot of women, (as well as potential employers) who have similar complaints (esp. #2) about those who seem to be stuck in reaching full adulthood.


#17

*A 48-year-old Midwestern gal with snow only over her shoetops replies:
*

[quote="SeaShoreGirl, post:1, topic:227988"]
1) If it's a Catholic site, then I expect you to BE Catholic. Period. If you disagree with the Pope over trival things, that's ok, disagreeing with the Magesterium over moral matters is unacceptable.

[/quote]

IOW, "The Cafeteria's Closed." :sad_yes: Thank you! :thumbsup:

[quote="SeaShoreGirl, post:1, topic:227988"]
2) For heven's sake show me you've done SOMETHING with your life. If you live with your mother/sister/brother/family and are over 25 then you'd better be caring for THEM. If you're halfway through you're bachellor's at 30 and never done much with your life than please tell me just HOW you plan to support that family you say you want.

3) In relation to number 2. If you want me to be your woman, have kids, homeschool and run a house I'm dang-blasted NOT going to be working, too. So find a job that will support a family BEFORE you join a dating site. Where did you/how are you comming up with that money?

[/quote]

It depends. Valid points, but beware of overgeneralizing. But if I were in your demographic they would concern me somewhat too. Still, with the economy the way it is, be willing to listen and you'll probably be able to tell whether he's a bum or just, as others have suggested, in transition.

I support your stance that to be a SAHM, especially a homeschooling one, you don't need to have to try and juggle a 40-hour-a-week job and especially if you have 2 or more kids the childcare pretty much makes it so you're losing money to go to work.

Of course, you have to decide yourself which life you want - if you want a high-paying career yourself then that would be a different scenario. :shrug: It's hard not to be misinterpreted by guys on some of this. I came of age in the era where you felt forced to choose or try to be superwoman and it was dern confusing, let me tell you.

[quote="SeaShoreGirl, post:1, topic:227988"]

4) If you DON'T want to move or can't move (eg. own a farm) and want to stay on it until you die, then don't say you're willing to move. It's not cute or romantic, it's annoying.

[/quote]

Yes. I know I would not be into the idea of relocating so I would make that clear and hope a guy would do the same.

[quote="SeaShoreGirl, post:1, topic:227988"]
5) Do not beg. Do not say you're perfect. Do not play games, and if we've written a few times and aren't interested than SAY that. Don't write me weekly with another excuse...if you are interested than give me more than a 2 liner. Mmmmm..k?

:o Maybe I'm asking too much.

[/quote]

Read Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus and Mars and Venus On a Date - it will explain why they don't call or write. It stinks, but at least it'll relieve the self-blame and confusion! :p LOL

And hey, two lines is OK for starters . . . at least he's expressing some interest! :yup:

(No. 6 I omitted because it doesn't concern me as much.)

Well, take me with a grain of salt - I do relate to a lot of what you're saying. But don't get too impatient either - I know, that's hard with the bio clock - guys don't have to deal with that pesky thing.

Question to ask God when we get to Heaven: Why didn't He have humans born in "soulmate" pairs clearly identifiable to one another, and born near each other in time and space on the planet . . . :hug1: . . . that and, if spiders are so useful, why are they creepy? :D


#18

lol funny post…reminded me of the forever alone meme

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_VSrnkiWaqSQ/TMdBQsCZScI/AAAAAAAAAZI/r7M0LAXkxW0/s1600/forever+alone+face.png


#19

Honestly, I think that you are being completely unfair in trying to dictate what YOU want in another person. Part of becoming involved with someone is appreciating and respecting them for who they are, not what you like in them. Charity is a two-way street.


#20

I am aware of the economy…but you’d be suprized at some of the men…who really have done little with their life

as far as working…i am a hard worker. And its not even like i wouldnt take a job ouside the home if needed its just that many guys want the traditional catholic gaggle with all the modern homeschooling perks–and still are not putting themselves in a financial position to do so(eg no degree or skilled trade)…ok if you’re 20 or 22…but a real headscratcher when a guy is 29 or 30.


DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.