Only for men... I don't know how to confess a sin because it's embarrasing

Hi
So I’m guilty of a sin and I don’t know how to confess it because it’s so embarrassing…I should have confessed this sin a long time ago however when I have visited the confessional i haven’t been able to explicitly confess this sin . I mean, I kind of confessed it, but didn’t really… so , if you’re a man, could i please send you a private message and maybe you could tell me how to confess this sin…?
Thank you
God bless you.

I’d say take whatever you’re going to PM any of us, don’t PM any of us, and confess it EXACTLY as you were going to PM any of us. That way, none of us will know your sin, and you get absolved. Just say it as it is. You’re not confessing to man. You’re confessing to God, who already knows what you did, who be deceived. Just say it, embarrassment be damned. Tell Father you’re having difficulty confessing this sin; invite him to question you. But just say it.

You just do it.

Take comfort that the hardest time will be the first time. I haven’t enjoyed the sacrament yet, but I’ve spilled the beans before.

There’s a saying by Confucius that I like a lot. It goes something like this: men see themselves as so different from one another, but they are more-or-less the same.

You need to shrug off the idea that there’s something about you that is more twisted than any other person. More than likely, your sin is dreadfully unoriginal, so just say it. Priests have heard countless millions of sins over the centuries. Everything from murder to rape to masturbation to lying to cheating to beastiality to bullying to stealing to entertaining extremely odd fantasies to drug abuse to adultery to self-mutilation to sodomy to bulimia to witchcraft and everything in between. Whatever it is, just confess it. When you walk out of the confessional, you’re going to feel amazing for having done it.

Praying for you. :thumbsup:

You dont want to be super detailed and explicit but you still want to get across your sin so the priest understands what the sickness is so he can give a remedy. The priest has heard it all before so do not worry. pm if you wish.

I’d recommend going to a church where you don’t know the priest. If you’re in a city it’s very easy to do. For small towns and rural areas that may be more difficult. Also say it first and follow with the less uncomfortable sins.

ETA: let this horrifying feeling that you have now be a deterent next time you get tempted

Since no one actually volunteered to let you message them, you can message me if you want. But they all have a point, the priest has heard it all. He won’t overreact and will most likely be understanding. It really helps if you change your perspective of who you are confessing to. You are confessing your sins to Jesus, not the priest. The priest is just a stand in.

I echo what the other have said. Perhaps you could try this as well—go someplace completely by yourself and “rehearse” your confession. Say the words that describe your sin aloud (TOTALLY to yourself)—this way you’re “used” to saying them and that it won’t be so hard to form the words again. Then go to Confession and repeat the words. Another thing is to write down your sins and then confess them—and destroy the paper! This will hopefully make it easier for you.

If it is a mortal sin – concealing a mortal sin makes the confessions invalid and brings more sin…and thus would need more work to be done in the confessional due to those past confessions.

(if I say confessed murder 2x and hide adultery I am going to need to confess that and the murders too…). So you need to bring the matter to the confessional --and address too the past confessions if it involved mortal sin.

If venial sin then one just finds a way to say what one wishes to confess.

The Priest has heard it all and then some…

If you have a serious medical problem, you tell your doctor every embarrassing detail, no matter how uncomfortable it makes you feel, because the details are very important. Withholding information like that could actually make the doctor’s job harder, because he won’t look at certain things because he wouldn’t think it necessary based on what you ave told him.

If you were dying from something and the doctors couldn’t figure out why, you would give them all the information you could, right? Even if it was super embarrassing? Even if it was something that might make your family upset with you?

Now look at your priest as your spiritual doctor. He can’t cure problems you don’t tell him about. Not if you know about them but are keeping them secret. It’s not easy, and it’s very awkward, but you just have to do it.

I had a pornagraphy/masturbation addiction from my early teens all the way into my mid thirties. I was ashamed of myself and tried to stop, but I just couldn’t do it. I found quitting smoking, after being a smoker for 13 years, to be infinitely much easier. I used to think “Once I get married, the desire will go away” and then “Once I have kids the desire will go away” and all sorts of other nonsensical ideas.

I only share that bit of embarrassing information, in a public forum no less, in order to add weight to what I say next.

When I returned to the church, after a 20 year separation, I went to confession as soon as I could. I confessed it all, as embarrassing and awkward as it was to do so, I did it. I went to daily mass as often as I could to recieve the Blessed Sacrament. I also began daily prayer, waking up an extra 30 minutes early every day just to get in a good half hour of prayer before starting my day.

I did pretty well for a while, and abstaining from my problem became much easier. I was still tempted, but I was able to brush the temptations aside by crossing myself and praying a silent Hail Mary and/or Our Father. My wife, kids, and I went out of town for a week to visit family, so I missed a week of daily mass and I didn’t keep up with my prayers during the week, either. I fell back into my sin by the end of the week.

After about two weeks of struggling with this again, I went back to confession and confessed it all again. It was even MORE awkward and embarrassing the second time around, but I did it. I knew I had to, or else I would never get better. I started my prayers again, and I added praying at the Hour of Divine Mercy to my daily routine. It’s a difficult one to keep up with, depending on your daily activities, but I manage to do it on most days. During one of these afternoon prayers, I prayed for Crist’s mercy that he would just take this from me completely. That particular day, I was really struggling with temptation and constant, extremely compelling visual imagery and lustful thoughts.

After my prayers that day, I felt much better and didn’t have any problems brushing those thoughts and images aside. Over the next two weeks, the thoughts and images became less frequent and they became easier and easier to ignore and brush aside. The temptation to act on them was even easier to resist.

I now consider myself cured of my previous affliction. After that “recovery period” of a couple of weeks, I found myself no longer having the images and thoughts just popping up in my mind. There is no temptation to masturbate at all anymore. I mean NONE, zilch, zippo. Nothing. Every once in a while I find myself looking at some rather provocative pictures on the internet (so easy to do while just reading some news stories), and I remember the old chain of events that usually occurred in those situations when I had my problem. Click the picture, temptation kicks in, want to see more so go to a pornography site, etc. etc. Now days when I come across a provocative picture, does nothing to me. I recognize the attractiveness of the person in the photo, but I do not start visualizing even more provocative imagery, I do not have any temptation. I simply look at the photo and then move on.

I recognize that one day, while praying the Hour of Divine Mercy, as the moment of my delivery from my affliction. But it was the confessions, the daily mass and frequent receiving of the Blessed Sacrament, and constant prayer that I believe made me prepared to receive such a grace. I believe these things are needed for this grace to remain within me.

I don’t know what your embarrassing sin is. Perhaps something similar, perhaps something totally different. But if you truly wish to remove this sin from your life, it can happen. Christ will do it. But you have to do your part, too. And it all starts with confession. Just go do it.

God bless you brother, and may He give you the strength, confidence, and perseverence to overcome your embarrassment and confess your sins.

P.S. - If your struggle is similar to what mine was, and you have questions or just want to talk to someone about it, feel free to send me a private message. I’m about to go to class, so I won’t be able to respond until late tonight, but I’m more than willing to talk. :slight_smile:

:sad_yes: :thumbsup:

Later, post-absolution: :getholy: :yup::clapping::dancing::extrahappy: :love:

Well, most sins have a name, and it’s easier just to say the name, rather than to try to think of euphemisms. Yes, it’s embarrassing for all of us, but it gets it over with quickly.

It’s supposed to be hard. Overcoming the shame is a part of repentance and is innately linked to actually believing that you can be and are forgiven. Your reluctance to admit what you’ve done suggests an underlying thought that it’s not forgivable.

Just say it to the priest. It’s EXTREMELY unlikely that he hasn’t heard it 500 times before. It’s worth it to be free of it, trust me. I went this morning! :slight_smile:

Good answers all. But you can also pm me. I have a hunch it’s sexual and you don’t know the proper words for the slang ones. Lots of young people don’t.

However, if you murdered someone, don’t tell me.

Obviously is the usual subject that comes up like clockwork,
But if its more serious, like really serious, then perhaps a councillor is more what you require… Because, it’s not only dangerous, but the law may even get involved…
It all depends on how bad it is…

A good confession takes humility and that is what you are lacking. You are still protecting your ego from embarassment, still protecting your image. Let go. Following Christ requires one to get comfortable with embarassments.:eek:

If the sin is what I think it is - the sin that most men struggle with at various times in their life - then there is a more “polite” way of saying it. If I need to confess that I’ve masturbated, I say that I’ve “fallen into physical impurity with myself on X occasions” (number is required when confessing mortal sins). The priest knows what you mean, and it’s not as embarassing as coming right out and saying “masturbation”. If a priest doesn’t know what you mean, he’ll ask you for clarification.

just to offer a perspective that hasn’t come up yet…

the more specific you are in confessing your sin (not to be overly explicit though), the more likely you will be the feel the force of absolution and any direct advice you receive. If you are vague, any advice may be vague, and for aome people they might doubt that they confessed properly. If you leve no room for ambiguity in what you say, then the priest will be able to offer clear advice and you will be able to trust your absolution completely.

Let me guess… is it pornography and/or masturbation? I guarantee you your priest has heard this a thousand times.

I have a more Light Hearted approach to this kind of subject…
people should be a bit more relaxed about it… if not… then we get people like the Author
of this Thread that think there evil when there not at all… watch a bit of Billy Connelly
the Comedian about these subjects and have a good belly laugh…
if you don’t get tears of laughter, then you have a problem !

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