My Catholic Church is holding the community baccalaureate for the high school graduating class. My parish priest is one of the speakers. The singer at the event is an openly gay, atheist, high school senior. I go to school with him and he is in a homosexual relationship. He is a cross dresser. I do not think that my priest is aware of his sexuality, judging from my personal experience with the parish priest, as he is my spiritual director. What should I do about this? I am extremely bothered by this. This saddens me deeply. I have heard this person talk, and he is extremely vulgar and rude on religious matters. I am HONESTLY not exaggerating at all.
Your classmate’s sexual orientation is none of your business. The only reason to keep the man from singing is if he has a really bad voice.
If he is openly gay as you say, it is unlikely that the parish priest is not aware of it.
Stay out of what is not your business.
You’re honestly telling me that you would be ok with a man in a homosexual relationship singing at a Church event? And one that also is incredibly vulgar about the Catholic Church?
Why don’t you ask your pastor about this? It could be a situation of scandal if his views are widely known.
I’m sure there are cantors at mass who gossip, or struggle with masturbation. What is your criteria for who can sing at church? In my opinion, if singing is something that brings him to church, then how can that be bad? I understand how you might be concerned that it would be scandal, but I see more compassion than anything here. Look for opportunities to bring others to Christ, don’t look for reasons to turn them away.
In our community the high school baccalaureate is held at our church and a protestant church in alternating years. Our pastor only knows our kids, not all the high school seniors. So they pastor may be totally unaware of this person’s anti-Catholic position, etc.
With our baccalaureate, the seniors plan the service, and they typically have senior choir members sing. Not all kids come, usually the ones who are not in religious families do not come. Since it’s technically not a school activity, they don’t have to do so.
I am not sure why this person would want to attend, let alone sing. However, maybe some of the class members asked him to sing.
But, if he can do so in a respectful way then it will likely be fine. This is not a Catholic event, it is an ecumenical event. He will not be in a liturgical role, as it is not a Mass or official liturgy of the Church.
You can talk to your pastor about your concerns.
You could also choose not to attend.
Liturgical or not, it is still held in a Catholic Church, and most people will view it in one light. He is ACTIVELY homosexual, and that is against church teaching, so why is the church allowing him to do it? That is probably a pretty good idea of a normal parishioner’s reaction. People are not going to differentiate between their views and the fact that it is not a liturgical celebration. They are going to identify the boy with the building, and he happens to be in a Catholic one.
Is he only vulgar and rude in casual circumstances or has he done something scandalous at an event that requires respect and reverence? I would not bar him from singing, but why would he go to the event if he is anti-religious and sing on top of that? If he plans on singing cross-dressed or takes this opportunity to desecrate the space and event, by all means, stop him or tell the priest.
Can you specify what a “community baccalaureate” is? Is this a Mass, or something else?
Among the plenty of (especially professional) choirs, orchestra and organists who sing and play in churches around the world, I’m sure there’s more than one openly gay individual.
It’s not like he’s asked to give the homily (which would be irregular no matter his beliefs or relationship status, given that he’s not ordained), or in any other way promote gay relationships in the church. Letting someone who doesn’t live according to Catholic teaching sing in a church is in my opinion not a source of scandal; remember, the fact that “somebody could take issue” does not mean there is scandal involved. Scandal only occurs where something is done which would reasonably give the impression that the Church endorses something. Letting someone sing only says that the Church endorses what is being sung, not the details of the singer’s personal life.
Lastly, the only things that would be achieved by barring him from singing in church would be that he (probably) never sets foot in a church again, and not unthinkably some coverage from a local newspaper, which would soon circulate on the Net. There’s no need to make a controversy where there shouldn’t be one.
Speak to your priest and make him aware of your concerns. Then abide by his decision and avoid gossip about the matter.
Would you feel the same if the young man was straight and had a relationship with a girl?
The Catholic Church does not discriminate against gay people. The Church is against gay marriage and homosexual acts, but not against homosexual people themselves.
I know a gay man, who is a cross dresser and he attends daily mass and the Rosary after mass every day. He does not take communion, but he’s there praying every day.
The real question is will he be respectful and sign reverently? As long as he is not going to disrespect the Church, it’s most likely fine. I think if he were in a “same-sex marriage” that would be different. Currently, he is “simply” sinning (grave sins of course), but he’s not living in a state of perpetual sin.
If it will make you feel better, speak to your priest about your concerns. However, just keep in mind that he might not feel that this the appropriate place and/or time to make a stand. Because the Church is often viewed as “against gay people” because we believe homosexual acts & “same-sex marriage” are against God’s plan.
I agree with the other posters. This isn’t really a parish event, it’s a a community event that the parish is sponsoring. I am a musician and when I was in conservatory, I frequently perform in concerts in all kinds of churches. Several of the people I’ve performed with were gay or atheist or living in a way that is contrary to the teachings of those churches. Allowing this event to take place in the church does not mean that the church approves of those performers’ lifestyles. I think you should mind your own business.
This sounds like this isn’t just being planned by your Catholic church since this is a community religious event and involved other Churches even though it is held at your Catholic church this year and your priest is speaking. This you desribed this as a “community event” means that I would bet that other Churches are picking who is doing what. Like a number of posters said, what this guy does in none of your business. If he really is an atheist, I would think that he wouldn’t want to be involved in this anyway. some of your story doesn’t add up here and seems to border more on the gossip side than reality. Whether he is really gay or an atheist, this isn’t just a Catholic church service but a community one. I would back off, pray for his soul and just maybe in doing this God is calling him back to belief and faith and purity.
So what if he “actively” was a tax cheat? A heterosexual fornicator? A chronic masturbator? A porn consumer? A thief? A jerk?
All are against Church teaching, and most of us have committed one or the other of those sins. Are you not actively sinning in some manner? It would surprise me if you aren’t.
Maybe, just maybe, having the lad in a Church event would spark something that would bring him closer to God.
But excluding him because of his sexuality, will for sure turn him off the Church.
To paraphrase the Holy Father, the Church is not a club for the righteous, it is a hospital for sick souls.
I agree with the other advice you have been given so far, and would like to add just one thing.
We all know that God works in mysterious ways. Maybe this is his way of reaching out to this young person to bring him home.
There is no sinner without a future, and no Saint without a past.
I assume since this is a graduation he will be in a cap and gown so no one will really notice if he is cross-dressing. Also, since it isn’t a church function (it’s merely being held in a church hall or something) no one will assume that the church condones the actions of some random kid that sang at the event. The school rented the hall. It’s as simple as that.
Perhaps in the middle ages one would consider a homosexual teenager in church a scandal but its hardly likely today. Most if not everyone has one or more GBLT close relatives or friends who they love. The young man is not representing the church in any way and anyone who is unable to discern that is likely to have many problems with life in general. The vast majority will not think anything about a gay teenager, most will not know and those who do will likely sit back, enjoy his singing and be appreciate his contribution.
I’ve talked to a number of actively gay men who recall with fondness the order and the sanctity of Christian liturgies. They were humbled by it, even if they didn’t conform their lives to Christ’s teachings. The liturgies planted a seed of faith, though the seed may never flourish.
Best not stomp out the seed by acting like God’s sacred ground doesn’t admit “their kind.” Then maybe, just maybe, the boy will more easily see the light one day.