I have an odd situation that I am having trouble with, or more correctly lots of my friends are having problems with. Sorry its so long, but I wanted to give you the whole picture.
Here is the story, last spring due to lack of good jobs in the area, my dh took a job out of state. Of course we are not in a position to move right now to join him, there is no way we could sell our house without a major loss right now. So he comes home to visit, calls and texts me regurally, talks to the childre and visits as much as finances will let him.
When he first moved down there he didn’t know too many people. He was rooming with his boss’s son, and while he liked the guy, dh isn’t much on bars and drinking, so he found himself bored alot. He went to a drum circle (more dh’s style) and met a few people. One being a women about 15yrs his senoir. He started hanging out alot with her, and staying at her house when things got too crazy at the other place. The whole time he was completely upfront about it, telling me all about her. After his holiday visit he tells me he is going to start staying there instead of with the boss’s son. It will save us $400 a month. I was upset and jealous at first, and I am not a jealous person by nature. We have been married 15yrs, and he has never been anything but an attentive, loving, faithful husband. But as we talked about it, I came to accept (sort of) that this was just a friendship, and I felt kinda selfish telling him to give up the one friend he has down there that he truly enjoys spending time with. Then on his last trip home, she sent gifts for our kids, and I found a rather glamourous photo of her he had been carrying around. I am somewhat jealous of the time he spends with her, they rent movies together, eat dinner together, go shopping together. But I know he would much rather be home with us, it just isn’t in the cards for awhile.
But most of my friends and even my in-laws are very upset (and my in-laws aren’t overly fond of me). I keep hearing that it is wrong, and he should move out. I even had one girlfriend tell me I must be stupid :eek: for trusting him.
Mostly I am allright with it, then when my friends consistantly point out things that they see, it makes me worry. It is getting to where I just avoid anyone who knows about the situation. Most of them have been through bad relationships or divorces and I am not sure that they understand the level of commitment we have to our relationship.
So I would like the opinion of ladies AND guys in happy relationships, do you think I am stupid for trusting a man who has never in 15yrs done anything to hurt me or make me distrustful of him. Or do you think it could just be as he says a strictly platonic friendship??