Back to my two friends. The one with psychological issurs accused the other of some form of sexual harrassment. The group was so mad they basically shunned him for life. This is the point in which I came in, noticed the isolation and befriended him.
In our conversations, he has never seemed crazy. He seems frankly honest in an almost child-like way. But i think he has problems understanding context and so can misread things. For this reason from the way he describes it, i have never thought he was sexually harrassed at least by that guy.
The accused guy is part of the ‘clique’ but has always been gracious to me. I love him. Hes great. Now that was a while ago when the whole thing went down.
Our ‘unstable’ shunned friend (he was the most shunned) was recently let go. He became very angry feeling that the admin had gotten him to quiet down about the issue and then waited for an opportunity to release him. He then made all this comments on social media that are just crazy. When i spoke to him in concern i learnt about the letting go and then he started pouring his heart out about all the shunning, not just his own but others. He said many things. A lot I disagreed with. But I could not disagree with many of his complaints having both witnessed it and endured it. I also knew how hurtful it was.
In any case, at some point in the course of these days of dealing with the letting go, he became convinced that he must revive the old harrassment claim because he was convinced that it was the reason for his shunning by collegues and the boss and for his letting go which i kinda believe because i had heard from another co-worker close to our boss that she hated the guy ever since the complaint because he risked the image of the company.i didnt say this to him though.
Now this guy complains that they did not care about him at all, only about the image and regrets having let things cool because he only endured it because of the assurance of the job. At least thats his claim.
He then took the matter public and involved law enforcement…pretty serious stuff. And devasted those people mentioned who will now be on that record.
At the time I was listening to him vent and he said he was going to do something, i got really scared thinking he meant violence which he laughed off when i tried to talk him out of it. The next day at around noon he announced abruptly that he will report the matter. I at first didnt disagree with him because I didnt know what to say but called my mom quickly for advice and she advsed me to tell him directly not to seek revenge. I contacted him and asked him not to in a soft manner, letting him know it will not help him and that he would hurt the guys mentioned. I named them one by one. He insisted that he HAD to tell the truth because the company protects its image over people and told me point blanck he wouldnt lie for any of those guys. I wasnt asking him to lie, just to not proceed with the issue. I even suggested he get a labour attorney to negotiate better terms for him with the company rather than use this harrasment case. He eventually said he wasnt interested in money but in truth and was convinced that his action would somehow make things better for others in future. I called him twice more but he was determined and i realized he wouldnt be dissuaded.
I then wondered if I should betray his confidence and warn my other friends but wondered what good it would do besides allowing them to worry early and impotently?
At that point I received messages alerting me to a social media message he had sent announcing his intent to proceed with tjat action. I was horrified and relieved. Relieved because i knew they knew already and because I was no longer burdened with the decision to betray one persons confidence in order not to betray another’s friendship. Absolutely horrified because it was the point of no return. And also horrified for the guys involved.
In any case he has been sent away and at work I no longer must chose. Everyone is solidly behind the accused guy as am I, because i genuinely think that my other friend misread things even though I wasnt there. But they hate the accuser. I fear for my own place at work but I am unable to act like I hate him. Because I dont. I partly blame the longterm treatment by the group for that unempathic reaction on his part. He is not capable of feeling sorry for the people who made him feel so bad for so long. But I totally get their anger. What he did was serious. But now that he is gone, for my own sake, should I pretend that I dont cate about him either? How much should i betray him to survive here where I am already suffering?
I was unabke to lie. It just felt wrong.