Other parent preventing Baptism


#1

I have a 4-year-old daughter. Her mother and I, unfortunately, were never married and are no longer together. As I have gotten my life back together and returned to the Church, I have wanted to have my daughter baptized. Her mother presently will likely not permit it. (To be clear: There is a current joint custody agreement in which we agreed to have her baptized, without specifying the church. That agreement is up for modification and I am reasonably certain, but not 100% certain, that her mother would prevent my efforts to have her baptized in the Catholic Church.)

The new custody arrangement won’t be decided until next year, after which I probably will have sole custody and be able to have the sacrament administered. Until then, though, I am concerned for my daughter’s soul should tragedy befall her. I know there are two other forms of baptism, and I know that in certain situations I would be able to baptize her. However, it does not appear that the elements exist to make it one of those certain situations, and I am not so sure that the other forms apply. Is my little girl’s soul in any danger?
thank you


#2

I hope I am not giving you false hope here, and w/o looking at the CCC, isn’t because she’s under the age of 7 the reason why she wouldn’t go to hell? All the same…I hope you are able to get her baptised soon. I shall pray for you tonight.


#3

I don’t want to comment on what you are going through as far as custody of your child is concerned. But as far as you being worried about your child soul because she isn’t baptized, while it’s good to see that it’s important for your child, I think and i Pray to God nothing bad happens to her before she is baptized. I think that you could surly count on the mercy of God that he would take her into his arms if something untowards should happen to her. but like i said I pray to God nothing will.


#4

[quote=Mark Hopkins]I have a 4-year-old daughter. Her mother and I, unfortunately, were never married and are no longer together. As I have gotten my life back together and returned to the Church, I have wanted to have my daughter baptized. Her mother presently will likely not permit it. (To be clear: There is a current joint custody agreement in which we agreed to have her baptized, without specifying the church. That agreement is up for modification and I am reasonably certain, but not 100% certain, that her mother would prevent my efforts to have her baptized in the Catholic Church.)

The new custody arrangement won’t be decided until next year, after which I probably will have sole custody and be able to have the sacrament administered. Until then, though, I am concerned for my daughter’s soul should tragedy befall her. I know there are two other forms of baptism, and I know that in certain situations I would be able to baptize her. However, it does not appear that the elements exist to make it one of those certain situations, and I am not so sure that the other forms apply. Is my little girl’s soul in any danger?
thank you
[/quote]

You are correct to be concerned and want to have her Baptized. I would speak with your Pastor and see if he would Baptized her. You do not have to have both parents permission to Baptize a child only one especially if only one is Catholic. You would have to consult a lawyer as to the legal issues here. But Baptism does not place her in any physical danger or harm her in any way. No Baptism of desire would not apply because she cannot profess her faith and publicly state her desire for Baptism. Baptism of Blood would not apply because she is not in danger of death for professing Christ. You should always be prepared to Baptize in an emergency.


#5

from the Cathecism

1261 As regards children who have died without Baptism, the Church can only entrust them to the mercy of God, as she does in her funeral rites for them. Indeed, the great mercy of God who desires that all men should be saved, and Jesus’ tenderness toward children which caused him to say: "Let the children come to me, do not hinder them,"63 allow us to hope that there is a way of salvation for children who have died without Baptism. All the more urgent is the Church’s call not to prevent little children coming to Christ through the gift of holy Baptism.

The Cathecism also states that :
1260 "Since Christ died for all, and since all men are in fact called to one and the same destiny, which is divine, we must hold that the Holy Spirit offers to all the possibility of being made partakers, in a way known to God, of the Paschal mystery."62 Every man who is ignorant of the Gospel of Christ and of his Church, but seeks the truth and does the will of God in accordance with his understanding of it, can be saved. It may be supposed that such persons would have desired Baptism explicitly if they had known its necessity.

I have hope and believe that our Loving God will have mercy on all children who have died either w/o being baptised or knowing him through no fault of their own.


#6

I had to wait until my kids were 3 and 5 to baptize as my wife was fully against it. I wasn’t so sure as I didn’t see anything wrong with it, I could not find any prohibition in the Bible yet since my wife was so against the Catholic Church and I had no real reason to do it, I just agreed to wait. When I was studying the Catholic Church, I really felt a need to baptize my kids yet my wife was so dead set against it, it was one of the things we had problems with for a while.

Eventually we came back to the Catholic Church and had them both Baptized. One of the things you can do is explain how Baptism is a gift, something we should do for kids because we love them.

I know it is a very different situation for you since you are separated. I would try and share your faith experience with the mother, have you done this?

Why are you reasonably certain she would want to prevent this? Because of her faith beliefs or to oppose you?

God Bless
Scylla


#7

we have two children in our CCD/RCIA program know going through the same thing, due to custody battle, still have not been baptized after 3 years with us, because mom is using the classes and the sacraments as a weapon against her ex. heartbreaking as the children both are hungry for the sacraments and disappointed every year when mom takes the whole thing back to court. Whatever else results, please do not allow this baby to become a weapon in a power struggle, get guidance from your priest on the entire situation of doing what is best for your child.


#8

and trust in the Lord…

:slight_smile:


#9

in the meabtime here is a prayer to say

olrl.org/pray/drops.shtml


#10

The Church teaches that you can’t go to heaven unless you’re baptised. I baptised my own son in the sink at 3 days old. It used to be common practice to baptise a baby at home and anybody can baptise if you feel your child’s soul is in danger. Then I had a ceremony at Church without the water. It would be better if you had a witness to the baptism such as your own mum and dad but you can baptise her yourself.

To validly baptise a child, you say “I baptise you, full name, in the name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen” and pour water over your child’s head three times. It does cause an administrative problem but if your child is in danger then it’s a valid baptism.


#11

sorry just found out that these promises are false


#12

Reguardless of the legal matter if any if the catholic party didn’t have the child baptized would that be breaking canon law and in doing so wouldn’t you be under penalty of sin if one did not do so?


#13

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