Words from Gerry Restrivera,
"In order to feel truly secure in a relationship, we must, first of all, feel good about ourselves. Feeling confident from within, allows us to project a positive image to others. It is important to really like ourselves, and to be able to recognize the talents and abilities we have been given, that make us unique. …
So often it is our own insecurities and fears that make us jealous. This often goes back to what we’ve experienced earlier in life. Were the people in our life dependable? Did mom and dad fight a lot, or leave each other? Was a former girlfriend or boyfriend unfaithful? Do we fear losing those we love? Do we lack self-esteem? Sometimes the problem may come from within, rather than from the other person. We need to try and determine why we feel threatened.
Jealousy is the fear of losing love. Are you fearful? Are you angry? Why? When you can identify the reasons, then you can begin to work on solutions. If prior life experiences have left you afraid of rejection or abandonment, you need to find healing. Counseling may be a solution, because often jealousy is a way to protect yourself from further pain and disappointment.
It’s never easy to overcome an emotion that seems to rise from the deepest, most secret places in our minds. In fact, most of us even deny its presence even when it’s the single, most overwhelming feeling we have at the moment. Strangely enough, some of us don’t even know it’s there. Some cases of jealousy are mild and brief but if you feel it’s a little too much, here are some ways you can use to handle your emotions:
Jealousy can only control you if you allow it, so you better not. It happens inside your mind and whatever goes in there is something you can stop.
Find the source of your feelings…Ask yourself why you feel that way. Why do you feel threatened? Is it because you feel inadequate? Victimized? Overlooked? Left out? Why do you feel powerless? What is it that you are scared of …?"