My belief is that one’s spouse should come after God and then the children. I feel that it is our responsibility to first love and honor God and then to lift up our spouse. It is then our responsibility to teach our children to know, love and serve God. Of course, we are called to care for our children’s immediate needs and they sometimes come before the needs and desires of our spouse. That goes with out saying. Please understand that I am no suggesting that you should give your wife a foot massage while your infant is sitting a diaper full of poo. I am referring to the idea that your spouse comes before the children meaning that the first person that Daddy kisses when he walks in the door should be his wife. Another simple example would be, if your husband values family dinner time all reasonable efforts should be made to insure that there are no activities that interfere with this special family time. This is NOT about parenting practices but rather an order of priorities. I do believe that somewhere within the Church teachings is the implicit understanding that the commitment to your spouse within the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony is to be held above all things besides God.
I am surprised the number of people in this forum who feel that either the children should come first or that God, Spouse and children should be viewed at as equally important. I am also surprised to see the large number of Catholics who subscribe to a particular parenting style in which the main tenants are: “on-demand and extended breastfeeding, co-sleeping, and babywearing in a sling or lots of “in-arms” time, and few or no periods of separation.” One might think that this would make it very challenging to put your spouse first, after God. However, I’m sure that the argument can be made. I am not interested in starting a debate with those committed the ideas of Attachment Parenting. I am hoping to find a common ground in the importance in lifting up one’s spouse. I would like to see how everyone lifts up their spouse and embraces this gift of Holy Matrimony, regardless of what category of parenting style you fall under.