Parents, do you try too hard?


#1

Is there such a thing? Is it harmful?

As I hugged my 10 year old and told her I love her and I was sorry for those times I was not a good Mom, she said, “I forgive you Mama. Parents just try too hard sometimes for their kids to be perfect, and because of this they (parents) can’t be perfect. Then their kids can’t be perfect because parents are the role models.”


#2

[quote=Quaere Verum]Is there such a thing? Is it harmful?
[/quote]

Yes, and yes. In fact, in this day and age, I think it’s very common for parents to try too hard


#3

Yes, parents can try too hard. I think we all have our own ideas of how things are and we tend to push ourselves and our children in that direction.

I have an 11 year old who is very bright. I have bit my tongue so often and held back my control alot to let this little kid explore to try to grow into an adult. In all honesty, I am learning from them. I never let my kids into danger, but some things that I want to control I try to turn over. Things as simple as where to store the dust pan and broom (seriously, I never would have thought of putting it where they did - but it is a good spot for it) to how to spend allowance and how much practice is needed on the band instrument. It is hard, but my honor roll student now has an F in band and is looking at practice differently. Dad isn’t nagging him but he is trying on his own.

Good luck

Terry


#4

One thing I noticed as we had more children, we slowed down a bit, probably due to lethargy as much as anything.

That said, it was overall a good thing. With the first child or two, it was pretty easy to keep up with them most of the time but after having four or more young ones, sometimes we were so tired we just didn’t respond to every cry and problem. If nothing else, it showed us there is just so much mom and dad that can go around. If we lose our peace, then all is lost.

I figure parents need to keep breathing spiritual life into the family where needed. Like an oxygen mask in an airplane emergency, we have to put on our own masks and be able to “breathe” before we can help the kids with their masks. The times when we have peace and quiet get pretty far between so we have to learn to make use of them. Parenting isn’t really an easy job one can take a day off.

Alan


#5

Isn’t that the truth Alan.

Where I feel the pressure is knowing I have the great responsibility of guiding them toward spiritual maturity. There’s just so much time we have to guide and then they’re on their own. I often second guess myself in this area. Am I doing enough? Am I firm enough? When I ask myself these questions I end up doing more & being firmer; I think this is where the
"parents just try too hard sometimes for their kids to be perfect," comment came from my daughter.


#6

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