I am 16 and my parent’s are so/so about me going to RCIA in fall but they won’t let me go to mass or confession. They also wan’t me to continue to take communion at our protestant church. What do you suggest I do? I know the bible says obey your mother and father but I’m not sure yet. Should I just wait until I am 18 and consider myself a baptism of desire for now or what?
CCC 2217 As long as a child lives at home with his parents, the child should obey his parents in all that they ask of him when it is for his good or that of the family. "Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord."22 Children should also obey the reasonable directions of their teachers and all to whom their parents have entrusted them. But if a child is convinced in conscience that it would be morally wrong to obey a particular order, he must not do so.
As they grow up, children should continue to respect their parents. They should anticipate their wishes, willingly seek their advice, and accept their just admonitions. Obedience toward parents ceases with the emancipation of the children; not so respect, which is always owed to them. This respect has its roots in the fear of God, one of the gifts of the Holy Spirit.
I am so sorry you are in the age between 16 and 18. When i was 16 i refused to go to my protestant church anymore and actually requested to work every Sunday as an excuse to avoid conflict. Unfortunately i feel the Holy Spirit started calling me to the Catholic Church at the same time. i ignored that calling and here i am 30 years later finally listening to the call to the Catholic Church. i now regret the time i wasted.
dont give up if this is truly what you want.
can you get them to give you their reasoning why they don’t want you converting? you may be able to use many topics and resources available through this forum to convince them that you are sure of your calling to Catholicism. if you have the spiritual knowledge to counter their arguments, they may see you as the adult your are becoming.
I have tried for a few weeks now, my mother says “We are a fundamentalist christian family, you have no need to go there. When will you let this go?” And a lot of laughing because she thinks it is a phase.
If she is open to it…have her read this book to understand you…amazon.com/Born-Fundamentalist-Again-Catholic/dp/089870569X
I think you should obey their orders.
They created you.
They changed your stinky diapers.
They have fed, housed and clothes you for 16 years now. Do you know how much that cost them in just money alone?
Now, that does not mean that you cannot keep negotiating with them, for the chance to go to mass, confession or RCIA. You can always ask, right? You can keep the lines of communication open. Don’t condemn them. Don’t call them cruel. Show them tons of appreciation for everything they’ve done for you and are still doing for you.
You can still read and study Catholic books, even if in secret if you need to.
These two human beings who are your parents are the only parents your are EVER going to have. Yes, you have a Father in Heaven, but that’s a different matter.
You need to act in a way that does not alienate or drive away (or drive away further) your mom and dad. Be patient with them as God is patient with you. Be forgiving of the imperfections and faults and sins of your parents, as God does the same with you.
Be lowly, be humble, in your dealings with your parents. Don’t act like you have the Real Truth and they are stupid or ignorant because they believe in a non-Catholic church. They managed to keep you alive for 16 years, so they can’t be completely stupid!
Well, I could say more, but I’m probably boring you. So, so long and God bless.
No worries. The difference between 16 and 18 is small. Time goes fast
Go with them while you are in their house. when you are on your own, you will be free to follow as God calls you.
You may be able to excuse yourself from communion by explaining that you no longer believe as they do about it.
Obey your parents. Be thankful they’ll let you go to RCIA in the fall. Keep your home tranquil. Don’t give them reason to blame your desire to become a Catholic for putting a wedge in your family. Turn it over to God and He’ll take care of you and guide your parents.
In the meantime, you can pray the rosary even on your fingers if you feel having one would cause an argument. You can always visit a Catholic Church, Eucharistic Adoration, or attend Mass on Saturdays or during the week unless you promised not to.
CATHOLICISM FOR DUMMIES is a good book to read. Also check out EWTN especially THE JOURNEY HOME series with Marcus Grodi. You can google him and bring up bios on those that have converted to Catholicism from your parents’ religion and the reasons why they converted.
I was in the same boat as you, i believed Catholicism to be truth when i was 16 too, my parents, are protestant, and refused to let me go to Catholic Church, what i did, was continued to practice the faith the best i could, i prayed the Rosary, and would learn more and more about the Catholic faith, and i obeyed them and continued to go to there protestant ‘church’ but i would not take communion, i would also try to show them the faith as well, try that, and now im 18 and have started RCIA, just be patient, and pray pray pray to God to not harden your parents hearts, but to let them, pray the Rosary for this intention
^ heres how you pray the Rosary, God bless you (: and ill pray for you
As others have said…for now it will please God that you obey your parents. Such obedience is good for it also serves to build up resistance to sin.
Also - I’m afraid that it is not all that uncommon for adults to assume that a child is going through a"a phase"…probably because children go through so many…:D…this is especially true when the activity is something they see as kind of “rebellious”.
I suspect this might be the case here.
God is giving you an opportunity to grow in grace as well exercising the virtues of obedience, patience, fortitude and perseverance. Make good use of this time.
Personally, I would get a copy of Catholicism for Dummies and read it. Then, you could show it to them, so that they can see, for perhaps the first time, the truth about the faith. Once they realize what the Church truly is, they might just change their minds. That is not being disobedient in the slightest.
I’m lots older. For the last 3 years I would go to mass sat pm and then with the family on sunday to a non catholic church. Finally we all go together to mass on Sunday and are all joining.
It may not be you going that bothers them as much as you not going with them.
Have you been Baptized in your religion? If not I can understand your concern. God loves obedience. Be loving and obedient to your parents. Study all you can about the Catholic Church. Finish RCIA and in all things prepare yourself to enter into full membership with the Church.
Above all be kind to your parents. Respect their views and make sure you are not throwing the Catholic Church in their faces. This is a hard thing for parents. Remember, they believe as deeply as you do that they have the Truth. Their biggest fear is that you will not be saved and not be with them in heaven. As you learn the theology of the Church you’ll be able to reassure them that you will be following Christ in all things.
Time will fly by and when you are of age you can fully enter the church. Your family will have had time to adjust and will handle it better then having everything happen suddenly.
I’m not qualified to speak for Holy Church, so all I can offer as far as advice goes is strictly personal opinion…I was in the same boat as you when I was 16 (two years ago) my senior year of high school, my schedule was such that I could actually manage to “sneak” to Mass at our local parish every morning. I pulled it off for nine months! My advice is to talk to your pastor-hopefully he’ll be half as good as mine and he’ll be able to help you straighten everything out. Make frequent spiritual communions and pray the Rosary! And trust in God’s mercy that his will shall be revealed in you in due time. In my case-since my parents would’ve been directly opposed to my involvement in the Church (had they known at the time!!)-there were legal issues that prevented me from being received into the Church before my eighteenth birthday…but this may not be the case for you. Anyway…stay close to the holy family and you’ll be in good shape whatever happens
Prayers coming your way!
Don’t forget to always thank God for the blessing He’s given you in realizing the fullness and beauty of His Church. That’s awesome dude!
Well, obedience to parents ceases when it conflicts with obedience to God. If your parents are telling you that you can’t be Catholic, you aren’t obligated to obey them. Now, granted, you don’t want to act outwardly rebellious or anything, and respect for your parents is always required, even if obedience is not. I’d say to continue going to RCIA, and if you truly feel in your heart that God is calling you to become Catholic, then go to Mass, etc. to the degree that you’re able to. If you truly do feel that Catholicism is the truth, then calmly, respectfully tell your parents that you intend to become Catholic, and do what you can to get to Mass, RCIA, etc. It may be difficult, but Christ said, “The father shall be divided against the son, and the son against his father, the mother against the daughter, and the daughter against the mother…”
Do it as they wish, I think, because going through RCIA sets you up to be confirmed as soon as you are 18. You are already baptized, I imagine, unless your Protestant church doesn’t use the Trinitarian formula. Your Protestant church considers the communion a symbolic act, so I see no problem with it. Maybe in RCIA you’ll have a chance to discuss this with the Pastor.
I think obedience to your parents now is not only the morally correct course, it is the charitable course and will make it easier in the future for them to see the Light through you and convert.
Protestant communion is invalid so you shouldn’t recieve it. You can still attend Protestant services and are not required to attend Mass prior to being formally received into the Church.
Did you ask your parents to attend RCIA with you?..
Never a commitment…they can do it to learn.
I wasn’t as my church doesn’t believe in baptism at birth and my family has been largely nonimal christians my entire life.
@Porknpie They don’t want to…