Parents of large families, lend me your wit


#1

My family is very quickly growing, and we just found out we're pregnant again. We're really excited about it, but the part we are kind of dreading is telling several less-than-supportive friends and family.

I'm looking for witty responses and one-liners I can use when the fertility police rear their heads. Any ideas?


#2

Why are they less than supportive? What is there reasoning behind it?

If they don't have just reason to not support you, then who cares about what they say?

I'm assuming you're married, so what would be wrong with having a child and having a growing family?


#3

When someone makes a stupid comment, say something like,

"Oh, don't worry-they'll be paying for your social security in 30 years"

"Hey, my husband and I are both over-achievers."

"Cable was out. What else should we do?"

"We're not even close to the Duggars!...Yet..."

I'm not a parent nor am I married, but I hope some of this helps.


#4

[quote="RHannosh619, post:2, topic:219843"]
Why are they less than supportive? What is there reasoning behind it?

[/quote]

I have no idea. It seems to me that there is quite a bit of irrational bias against large families out there. I guess people think that it is irresponsible to divide your money and attention among more children.

[quote="RHannosh619, post:2, topic:219843"]
If they don't have just reason to not support you, then who cares about what they say?

[/quote]

Intellectually, I don't care what they say. But in practice, it hurts when family and coworkers (i.e. people you can't avoid) give disapproving looks and make snide comments.

[quote="RHannosh619, post:2, topic:219843"]
I'm assuming you're married, so what would be wrong with having a child and having a growing family?

[/quote]

Yes, I am married.

@Rascalking: Thanks, I like those!


#5

My dear old grandmother's (mom of 9, but 2 died early-on) favorite line, spoken in her adorable little Texas accent, was...
"Well, we just loved makin' babies!"...
:D


#6

"Oh, don't worry, we're getting it neutered."


#7

Well, this isn't really witty, but one thing I do say when people make it sound like I am an alien for being open to more kids is to say that so far they have only come one at a time (or for some people two) and its not as hard they might think it is that way (if they are suggesting its crazy to have "so many" kids because they have less and its already hard, we are expecting #5, so we are nowhere near the double digit families out there etc).

Other things to do is to start off showing you are happy and excited about the new little one. Its hard for someone to say something negative back right after you showed your happiness. I will say I think dh and I are pretty lucky that our family and friends that "don't approve" so far have been very politically correct with us ;), and sometimes really nice about it even if I know they don't agree (and might share their feelings with others, who then feel the need to tell us:shrug:). Anyways, some people feel the need to crack a joke about us whenever they get a chance, but although it can get very annoying, it helps to see where they are coming from. One family member, for example, has only one child because they wanted the world for that child, and then he went and divorced the child's mother, and now has a new wife and well, every time I see the child, she seems so sad. I dunno, maybe they feel sorry for us too because we are ignorant fools having lots of kids lol, but more often than not I end up feeling sorry for the people who don't understand the beauty of the gift of children, not that I am that great understanding it, but I have been blessed to be able to witness it firsthand. Lol, I was prolly of no help for you here :p.


#8

We just watched Cheaper by the Dozen the orginal version. The father has some really witty come backs.


#9

[quote="Rascalking, post:3, topic:219843"]
When someone makes a stupid comment, say something like,

"Oh, don't worry-they'll be paying for your social security in 30 years"

[/quote]

You stole mine! :p And here I thought I was the only one who thought of that one. :)


#10

I am constantly asked about whether or not we're "done". (We have 7). I know most of the people are kidding (sort of, anyway) because we're usually in a lighthearted conversation when it happens. When they ask that, though, I turn kind of serious and say that I am always ready to accept another baby. It's true, it's kind, it makes them think (at least it seems to).


#11

[quote="lifeisbeautiful, post:7, topic:219843"]
Well, this isn't really witty, but one thing I do say when people make it sound like I am an alien for being open to more kids is to say that so far they have only come one at a time (or for some people two) and its not as hard they might think it is that way (if they are suggesting its crazy to have "so many" kids because they have less and its already hard, we are expecting #5, so we are nowhere near the double digit families out there etc).

[/quote]

That's a good point. When we had #1, I thought being a parent was tough. When we had #2, I thought it was really really hard. "How does anyone have more than this," thought I. Then #3 came along, and I honestly think it was easier with 3 than with 2. Go figure. We're only expecting #4 now, but it is the rate at which we're going that has people shocked. Our oldest is still 2 years old, and we're still in our 20s, so there's plenty of fertile years ahead.

[quote="st_lucy, post:8, topic:219843"]
We just watched Cheaper by the Dozen the orginal version. The father has some really witty come backs.

[/quote]

Will do. Thanks.

[quote="HouseArrest, post:10, topic:219843"]
I am constantly asked about whether or not we're "done". (We have 7). I know most of the people are kidding (sort of, anyway) because we're usually in a lighthearted conversation when it happens. When they ask that, though, I turn kind of serious and say that I am always ready to accept another baby. It's true, it's kind, it makes them think (at least it seems to).

[/quote]

Yes! I hate that question, and "how many are you going to have?" It is really a question I need to develop a response for. They never seem satisfied with "I don't know".


#12

Why are you so interested in my sex life?


#13

[quote="Iowander, post:11, topic:219843"]
Yes! I hate that question, and "how many are you going to have?" It is really a question I need to develop a response for. They never seem satisfied with "I don't know".

[/quote]

I always say we're going to keep going until we stop. :) We'll just take it one kid at a time.


#14

[quote="Iowander, post:1, topic:219843"]
My
I'm looking for witty responses and one-liners I can use when the fertility police rear their heads. Any ideas?

[/quote]

how about as a rejoinder to those who question your knowledge of basic human reproductive biology "What an interesting question, why don't you share with me all the intimate details of your own sexual history since you consider the question appropriate?"


#15

[quote="puzzleannie, post:14, topic:219843"]
to those who question your knowledge of basic human reproductive biology

[/quote]

Thank goodness for this forum. It's almost like I'm not the only weird one walking around :) .


#16

I am not a parent but I am the oldest of nine and I can share some witty comebacks my parents have. Also, I can share some of my own (I am confronted quite a bit when people think the youngest 3 are my kids).

When someone asks my dad, "Are ALL those yours?" He always says, "If you think this is too many, you should see the ones I left at home!" My mom likes to say,"No, I picked up a couple extra in the produce aisle/food court/etc..."

When someone says, "You sure have your hands full!" my mom always says,"Yes, and my heart is too."

My mom gets told often, "I can't believe how you do it! I can't even handle my two!" She says, "Oh, I just do it. Wake up in the morning, go, go, go, and go to bed when its done." However, I know she is thinking, "Yes, you don't strike me as the kind that could handle more than two anyway. And if I had kids like yours I couldn't handle more either!"

When someone asks me, "How many more do you think you'll have?" I turn it back around on them and say, "How many more do you think?" This tends to make them go away. When my mom gets asked this she says, "Well, we still have room in the van for 1 more!"

Of course you'll deal with the question, "Haven't you heard of birth control?" We all say, "Oh yes, we know what birth control is. Its for people who don't want children."

One more: "Do you get any time for yourselves?" My dad says, "Obviously we get some time, or else we wouldn't have all these kids!"

Hope this helps! :)


#17

@bellringer06: Pure gold. Thank you!

I have actually been using the "1 more seat in the van" thing, but now our van really will be full. ;)


#18

[quote="Iowander, post:11, topic:219843"]
That's a good point. When we had #1, I thought being a parent was tough. When we had #2, I thought it was really really hard. "How does anyone have more than this," thought I. Then #3 came along, and I honestly think it was easier with 3 than with 2. Go figure. We're only expecting #4 now, but it is the rate at which we're going that has people shocked. Our oldest is still 2 years old, and we're still in our 20s, so there's plenty of fertile years ahead.

....
Yes! I hate that question, and "how many are you going to have?" It is really a question I need to develop a response for. They never seem satisfied with "I don't know".

[/quote]

Lol, I can totally relate to what you said (except for me it was just after our first) I remember thinking "No matter how open we wish to be to life, how on earth do people have more than one kid?" Mine are a little more spaced out than yours (my oldest was a little over 4 when my 4th was born, and now she will be 5 for a little bit longer after my 5th is born), and I'm in my late twenties, but I can also related to dealing with people being "shocked". I will admit that usually people are just shocked because it isn't really ordinary, and they might say seemingly rude things, but for the most part they are usually not trying to be mean.

About the question of how many we are going to have, I also usually say I don't know, we are open to more, and use the same line of so far they have come one at a time and it is working out just fine. I never give out any number, because, frankly, only God knows... we know we are open to more, and plan accordingly, but God might decide that 5 are all the blessings we will receive... Its more about His will than figuring out a magic number :).


#19

[quote="Joe_5859, post:9, topic:219843"]
You stole mine! :p And here I thought I was the only one who thought of that one. :)

[/quote]

You and I should write Catholic sit-coms together. We'd be a real hit on EWTN! ;)


#20

Man plans, God laughs...

How many are you planning on having?
- We're planning on having as many as God is willing to entrust to us.

  • Well.... it takes 5 to make a basketball team, and we really like baseball as well...

(BTW, at some point your kids will ask you who your favorite is, or accuse you of favoring one. My response has always been, my favorite is whoever isn't irritating me right now.)


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