Parents


#1

Folks, what do you do when your parents still look at your credit card bill and tell you what you can and cannot spend? What I spend is none of their business! :mad:


#2

If you are under 18, smile respectfully and do as they say.

If you are over 18, and still under their roof, move out, and have your credit card statements sent to your new address.

If you already have your own place, keep the credit card bill out of sight when they come over. Lock it in a drawer if they’re really nosy. If that doesn’t work, youc an always see them somewhere other than in your home.


#3

Can’t afford that. At least not now. He says, “it’s my money your spending” since he pays me for working for him.


#4

get a new job!! you will be exposed to the real world and understand why they are being so protective about you spending the money the way you are spending.
i guess you are still living at home.

they probably realise that once you live on your own and earn the same amount that you are earning now working for them, you will not have the luxury of spending the money the way you are doing now.

they probably realise that and dont want u to develop bad habits. they dont want you to have to learn life’s lessons the hard way.


#5

You can also have your credit card company send you your statements electronically. Or you can cancel the credit card.

Polishing the old resume and getting a different employer is a good idea too.

It is their home. If you are dependent upon them for your financial support, you may just have to bear it, because what goes on under their roof is their business, especially if you are not paying any rent.


#6

This is true.


#7

I am almost 30.


#8

bones …time to get your own place and a new job if your dad thinks he can tell you what to buy with YOUR OWN money:) …
but this is just my humble opinion!


#9

My humble opinion agrees with yours, Karin. I was out of mom and dad’s house and completely financially independent of them by age 24.


#10

:smiley:

Personally I think that is bogus. (not meant in a way to offend) If you are working for him, then you earned that money and it is yours. Does he monitor the bills of all of his employees? Have his past employers monitered and commented on his bills? I’d start looking for a new job.

Also, since you are an adult, I would have a sit down with my parents and tell them that it makes you uncomfortable to have them going through your mail. If you don’t want to have that conversation, I would print out the laws relating to opening other people’s mail and leave it in a spot they would be sure to find it. Ask to have your mail put in a certain spot so you can access it at your conveinience. Pay your bill as soon as you open it and then shred the evidence.

Personally, I’d move out. But then again, I got tired of my parents rules and moved out at 19! :smiley:

Good luck with this and I hope everything irons out smooth between you and your parents.


#11

I’ve tried that before. He just laughed at me.


#12

what did you try?
To move out or tell him it was your money etc.??


#13

I told him it’s my money, and he said, “we’ll who pays you”. I just simply don’t obey it. Nor do I feel any obligation to. And if he doesn’t like it then I will. I’m going to tell him “what part of thou shall not covet don’t you understand”. And I don’t care what he says.


#14

A post office box is cheap enough.

I’m sure your dad just doesn’t want you developing any bad spending habits that could lead to trouble for you later on.


#15

Get a PO Box ASAP (It’s only like $16 for several months) and help your parents pay some bills. When I lived with my dad, I paid $200 a month for my room. Kept him from feeling I was mooching off him.

I’m currently living in my mom’s guest house…(since November) I’m saving half my pay for getting out of here. There comes an age where it’s best to be indepentant of parents and you and I have both passed it.
:twocents:


#16

As long as you’re dependant on daddy for a roof over your head you have no room to complain. When you are a “man”, meaning you are supporting your own lifestyle and expenses, he will have no place or opportunity to opine on your lifestyle–much less access to your mailbox. At almost 30, you are a senior citizen in the dependant child arena. If you want this to end, grow up, move out and stand on your own two feet–financially and otherwise. Until then, stop whining.


#17

I have to agree, but in a more charitable way. :smiley: I stayed with my parents through college since I went to college in my hometown and it was a mistake. Moving in with my then-GF now wife was wrong but at least I was on my own. I would have learned a lot more responsibility a lot earlier if I had left the nest. Staying at home with your dad paying you doesn’t even seem like a job-more like a glorified allowance. That being said, he should obviously know your financial essentials since he pays you. If it is a living wage, get an apartment at the very least. Loving parents are a great asset but know when to say when.


#18

Here you go, start getting nursing home information sent to you.

Bring that out after the critique of the credit card, then ask him to critique if he thinks the extra money at this one is really worth this ‘value-minded’ nursing home.


#19

if you are paying the bill yourself, correct
if you are relying on them for help in any part of you expenses, rent, r&b, tuition, car, insurance etc., or asking them for loans or financial assistance in any other way, or continually griping about what you don’t have and cannot afford, yes it is absolutely their business.


#20

I say if you think your money handeling is reasonable, go to your mom, explain the situation, try to get her on your side, and to try to lay off of you.

But if that doesn’t work, and he is abusing his fatherly authority, you’ve got your responsibilites as a son. To add to the one above. You can remind him that, “retirement isn’t always like the American Express commercial.” Since you are an adult you ought to know what he his thinking about when it comes to power of attonery, financially and medically. I’m sure spouses are the first one, but you might need to consider second options. It is probably all the more important, cause it sounds like he sets your paycheck, I’m guessing he’s running a business.

Knowing that boomer males aren’t the best at see the doctor, you might need to remind him he should be going regularly for check-ups. Also make sure that high blood pressure and cholestorol should be undercontrol, don’t want a stroke or heart attack and prevention is the best medicine. Also it might be good to know that blood glucose is in check, diabetes isn’t something that you want, it wrecks havoc on the whole body, especially if left uncontroled. I’m sure he knows, he problably has some friends that this has come to affect.

I think St. Paul gave some advise to the whole family, and what can happen if you don’t follow. Anyway if someone knows you enough to know how to push buttons, usually you can figure out some buttons of theirs.


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