Partners/ girlfriends?


#1

Hi! :)

I have just started being a catholic, again :)

Should I try find a Catholic woman? Or what? I am very passionate about God and there is proof that the catholic religion is the truth with miracles :) would a christian be ok? have to be catholc? or what? :/ no catholic women in my age range at church :( only 0-14 and 35 to 90 lol

I am 6 foot, 15 stone, muscular, will be a qualified accountant in 2 years, am saving up for a deposit on a house and I am 22 years old :)

Any women interested? lol :) I am living in england, but i can move to any country haha :thumbsup:

Thanks

Dylan ;)


#2

You should discern using your faith, values, and vision for your family life as your primary criteria.

If you want a Catholic family life-- praying together, having your wife teach your children their prayers, following Catholic traditions and Catholic liturgical year, going to Mass together, raising your children Catholic, sharing your faith life deeply with your spouse–then yes, marry a Catholic.

It is difficult to sustain a mixed marriage, and there is always compromise involved. It was my choice to only date Catholic men because I did not want a divided household. I did not want arguments over religion. I am devout and follow the Church’s teaching on moral issues and wanted a Catholic household/family.

You are young, look farther afield in England. And, you can always try online such as www.avemariasingles.com


#3

You can marry a non-Catholic (or even an unbaptised person) with dispensation, which is basically an exception from the general rule that you can't, but dispensations aren't normally withheld regardless. However, a non-Catholic is likely not to believe the same as we do about marriage, which is to say especially that marriage is for life (not for as long as it works or as long as the couple are in love), that marriage is to be open to children (i.e. no contraception), and that there's no cheating no matter what (this one should be easier for most people to accept in theory, but the implications are far stronger for us). If someone reserves for himself the right to seek divorce, get a lover, have no children, then one can't even validly marry. And who wants an invalid marriage? This is the practical reason why I'm sticking with Catholics as far as women go, although I don't rule out marrying a non-Catholic whose beliefs are compatible or "dating" a person who shows some willingness to learn more and possibly verify her beliefs. By the way, being nominally Catholic doesn't guarantee not believing in divorce or contraception. Also, we need to bring up our children as Catholics and that's not something that sit well with everybody. Suddenly, people may decide they don't want their children go to Confession or have to fast or abstain. Lots of people believe in allowing the children to choose, bringing them up in two religions at once or "generic" Christianity. We don't want that.

Also, I can tell you from experience that sharing a relationship with someone who has very bizarre beliefs on things can be quite taxing. I would normally avoid people who are in sects, neo-pagan groups and other artificial religions or "religions". Among us Christians, some Protestant beliefs and outlooks can be hard to deal with.

As for women your age, they're probably more likely to attend university churches, churches where there are some group activities, ministries, dedicated pastoral efforts (e.g. academic ministries) and so on. Then there are exchange students and temporary workers from Catholic countries in Europe. Besides, as far as I know, the Catholic Church is en route to becoming the biggest Christian denomination in England once again, so... :D And there are parts of England where the local populace never really accepted Anglicanism, such as some parts of East Anglia, Lancashire or Yorkshire. And then you have folks with Gaelic or Irish ancestry. There's at least more probability of finding a Catholic eligible spinster there, I guess.


#4

I don’t think there’s much chance of finding a recusant family :wink:

I would not suggest going to church for the purpose of dating; however, it sounds as though you may (quite reasonably) be looking for Catholic events for people of your own age. Where abouts in England are you? Look at youth2000.org/ for starters.


#5

omgosh… is that the retreat that John Pridmore use to help run?? (as the guy who wrote - from gangland to promiseland. and spoke at wyd last year.)


#6

[quote="lenni, post:5, topic:177608"]
omgosh.. is that the retreat that John Pridmore use to help run??

[/quote]

John Pridmore speaks at a lot of Youth 2000 retreats, yes.


#7

I am happy you are practicing your faith again! Looking for a mate is one of three potential states in your life. The three are Holy Orders (In your case becoming a priest or a brother), Married Life or Single life.

The church teaches that we are to discern these states of life in order. This means we if we are called to be a priest or other religious we should follow that path first. If we are not called to Holy Orders then we discern if we are called to the married life or the single life.

If you are not finding a good Catholic girl to potentially be your wife, then this may be an indication that you are called to the single life. Each state (Religious, married or single) are perfect ways to live your life.

The church does allow us to seek out a spouse of another faith, but it is discouraged. The reasons are many. A spouse who does not share your faith will not be able to assist you in living your faith. This can be a hardship down the road. If you have children, they will learn by instruction and EXAMPLE. If they see their mother not living the Catholic faith they will think that is acceptable.

There are many other reasons why we should seek out a Catholic partner, but I think that is the information you were looking for.

Please read thru the Baltimore Catechism section on Marraige. It will answer many of your questions.


#8

If you are not finding a good Catholic girl to potentially be your wife, then this may be an indication that you are called to the single life. Each state (Religious, married or single) are perfect ways to live your life.

I wouldn’t say this just yet since he’s only 22 :slight_smile:

I think you need to focus on what God wants of you right now. Just keep praying to Him and let Him find the perfect woman for you :thumbsup: This is not to say that one should just sit around - rather one should busy themself with God’s work. I know it’s easy to become anxious about it, but try not to worry about it.

This is the attitude I have developed, and I feel so at peace now :slight_smile: I used to worry that I’ll never find a good spouse. Now I know that God will take care of that - and I keep myself busy with the present.


#9

Hehe I am very easy going :slight_smile: I would love to have a catholic wife :slight_smile: I would also not mind being a monk or priest.

I am working hard and then I will move to a city in 2 years and there should be plenty of women who are catholics and around my age. I live in a rubbish village that is full of idiots and if you are any good, then you get away from here lol :slight_smile:

I don’t go to church for women, but there was this hot one there when I was 16 and she was 24, but then she had a kid and was married haha my fantasy was ruined :frowning:

Guess that I will pray hard and try my best to be in the best shape possible for the catholic women chase :wink: :stuck_out_tongue: :smiley:

God bless you clever catholics :wink:


#10

Well as I remember hearing once, if you have no desire to be a father then maybe the priesthood is not for you. Or something to that extent (after all, you gain a lot of “spiritual children” when you become a priest).

I don’t think calling your village rubbish and “full of idiots” is the attitude to go with though. If they really are doing so badly, pray for them! If they don’t have God in their life, then they certainly need prayer.

Continue to pray for your vocation, be that the married life or something else. Just don’t rush things. :slight_smile:

Peace be with you.


#11

[quote="crazydyl, post:1, topic:177608"]
Hi! :)

I have just started being a catholic, again :)

Should I try find a Catholic woman? Or what? I am very passionate about God and there is proof that the catholic religion is the truth with miracles :) would a christian be ok? have to be catholc? or what? :/ no catholic women in my age range at church :( only 0-14 and 35 to 90 lol

I am 6 foot, 15 stone, muscular, will be a qualified accountant in 2 years, am saving up for a deposit on a house and I am 22 years old :)

Any women interested? lol :) I am living in england, but i can move to any country haha :thumbsup:

Thanks

Dylan ;)

[/quote]

I can't believe no one picked up on this, or maybe I'm just still Turkey drunk and overlooked it, but Catholic = Christian. Sorry, just a pet-peeve of mine. Drives me crazy when I hear a Catholic say, "I'm a Catholic Christian".... I wish you all the best, hon.


#12

[quote="Vincent1984, post:6, topic:177608"]
John Pridmore speaks at a lot of Youth 2000 retreats, yes.

[/quote]

ahh.. yes, i did get it right!! Does he still speak?? have you heard him speak..? awesome, awesome guy!!!! and amazing conversion story.. :) :) :)
gave me his book for free and signed. Then i felt guilty, so i donated a bit too him!


#13

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