Party on Good Friday?


#1

My teenage daughter (14) has been invited to a birthday party on Good Friday, with hot dogs, etc, by a protestant family. I am trying to observe Holy Week reverently, but my daughter is in a rebellious stage and doesn’t care about the church at all.
I plan to decline the invitation, because a party on Good Friday seems disrespectful to me. I will just say that while I appreciate the invitation, this is the one day of the year we don’t accept invitations.
I know my daughter will be angry at missing the party, and won’t attend Good Friday services with me. I am going to insist that we all go to Easter mass.
Any suggestions or support?


#2

Your doing the right thing. Don't let her go to a party on Good Friday, but let her have time to burn off the anger. Demand she goes to Easter mass. That's not an option for her to decline.

Good luck.


#3

Oh my, I’m sorry you are going through teen rebellion at such a young age!

I would not accept such an invitation on Good Friday, either. Maybe a funeral or other somber event, but a birthday party with cake and hot dogs? No.

I wish I had more advice to give - our son is 14 but he has developmental delays and it would never occur to him not to attend Good Friday with the family. He’s not thrilled with going, and he might sulk a bit, but its always been a non-negotiable.

I will keep her in my prayers during our Good Friday service.


#4

[quote="Viki63, post:1, topic:236740"]
My teenage daughter (14) has been invited to a birthday party on Good Friday, with hot dogs, etc, by a protestant family. I am trying to observe Holy Week reverently, but my daughter is in a rebellious stage and doesn't care about the church at all.
I plan to decline the invitation, because a party on Good Friday seems disrespectful to me. I will just say that while I appreciate the invitation, this is the one day of the year we don't accept invitations.
I know my daughter will be angry at missing the party, and won’t attend Good Friday services with me. I am going to insist that we all go to Easter mass.
Any suggestions or support?

[/quote]

Your doing the right thing. Your experience is one of the seven thousand reasons we homeschool our children.


#5

You have my support as well. You are doing what is best for your family, even if does not seem like it- especially when your rebellious teenager decides that your sole purpose is to ruin her life. (I speak from the aspect of being said teenager- why my parents love me today is a witness to God's power and mercy.) Be firm yet charitable, but don't back down. You are in my prayers!


#6

[quote="Viki63, post:1, topic:236740"]
My teenage daughter (14) has been invited to a birthday party on Good Friday, with hot dogs, etc, by a protestant family. I am trying to observe Holy Week reverently, but my daughter is in a rebellious stage and doesn't care about the church at all.
I plan to decline the invitation, because a party on Good Friday seems disrespectful to me. I will just say that while I appreciate the invitation, this is the one day of the year we don't accept invitations.
I know my daughter will be angry at missing the party, and won’t attend Good Friday services with me. I am going to insist that we all go to Easter mass.
Any suggestions or support?

[/quote]

:eek::eek::eek: Hot dogs????

Does your daughter know about the invitation yet?

Stand strong. This is the day we commemorate Jesus' death on the cross. It is so inappropriate for ANY family to throw a party, I'm pretty surprised any religious family would do that. Even Protestants usually have a somber church service on that day. I would put it across to your daughter that this is shocking to you - while Jesus died on the cross, we need to be in prayer for Him and His great love for us, not eating hot dogs in defiance of our Church's rules.

My son hasn't been going to Mass either (he is 17), but he knows he has to come with us on Easter. I haven't been forcing him to go because I don't want him to receive the Eucharist in a state of mortal sin, but at some point I think he will return. Be patient, but firm, and pray for her a lot.


#7

[quote="Catholic41506, post:4, topic:236740"]
Your doing the right thing. Your experience is one of the seven thousand reasons we homeschool our children.

[/quote]

I am sorry but i utterly FAIL to see the "homeschool" connection. SERIOUSLY?

This is a question over a teenager and a friend whos protestant. It could very well be other homeschoolers. I really cannot comprehend this attitude! There will be challenges with any childs' friends....even if the parents are "perfect" catholics.

OP. Easter services are manditory. Good Friday is not. However "rebellion" is not an excuse to party. Keep her at home...and perhaps suggest that you will have a dd's friend over for pizza on a more appropriate day.


#8

She’ll get over it.


#9

Please be strong don't let her put a guilt trip on you I don't know how old you daughter is butif you are going to the Good Friday service at your parish i would make it mandatory that she go also Yes she will accuse you of ruiningevery thing for her but when she is older she will apprciate you being so committed to you Catholic Faith.


#10

Yes, she will. But try to explain to her why this is important. Don’t just say “You’ll get over it”


#11

My sister and father both have birthdays that have at times fallen on Good Friday. It was always a nusiance to my sister that she couldn’t have meat or a party on GF as our family didn’t eat meat on any Friday [during the year] but especially GF.

Its a shame the Protestant family has done this, but as others have said, your kid will get over it. I don’t think you should have to say “well, we can do such and such on another day”, she’s 14, she shoudl be old enough to understand that your roof = your roof.

She will get over it. But perhaps use the time to share your family’s faith with her and help her to come closer to God by such a sacrifice.

She might not like it, but hey, we all have to do things we don’t like. A good lesson to learn.


#12

[quote="TheRealJuliane, post:6, topic:236740"]
:eek::eek::eek: Hot dogs????

Does your daughter know about the invitation yet?

Stand strong. This is the day we commemorate Jesus' death on the cross. It is so inappropriate for ANY family to throw a party, I'm pretty surprised any religious family would do that. Even Protestants usually have a somber church service on that day. I would put it across to your daughter that this is shocking to you - while Jesus died on the cross, we need to be in prayer for Him and His great love for us, not eating hot dogs in defiance of our Church's rules.

My son hasn't been going to Mass either (he is 17), but he knows he has to come with us on Easter. I haven't been forcing him to go because I don't want him to receive the Eucharist in a state of mortal sin, but at some point I think he will return. Be patient, but firm, and pray for her a lot.

[/quote]

You are right that it's wrong, but it's not surprising to me at all.

Many Protestants I know, with the exception of those that are Anglican or Lutheran, do not recognize Good Friday in any way. Many public schools actually have school on Good Friday.

We belonged to a homeschool CO-OP one year that was run by very conservative Southern Baptists, but yet they thought nothing of holding classes on Good Friday. To these particular women, it was all about Easter, and not about reliving Christ's crucifixion in any way.

Then again, many Catholics, wouldn't be concerned by it either. I mean when you look at the number of registered Catholics at a large Parish, how many will actually come on Good Friday?

Personally, I wouldn't let her go, I'd empathize with her, but SHE WOULD attend Church with us on Good Friday.


#13

Do most Parishes have a service on Good Friday? Mine is only holding one service at night and we are a huge Parish that usually has 6 Masses for Sunday obligation. I won’t be able to go to because of the time at night–which overlaps with my daughter’s bedtime. It’s not a Holy Day of Obligation so I am not going to stress over it.

As for the original question, I agree you are doing the right thing. I wouldn’t judge the Protestant family, it sounds like they just don’t know what Good Friday is about. Give your daughter a good, honest explanation of why. She won’t like it sounds, but it’s best to give a solid reason. Reminder her there will be plenty of other parties in her life. good luck.


#14

Yeah, now that I reflect on it, you may be right - the emphasis for Baptists, anyway, is all on the Resurrection and dwelling on the crucifixion brings them under the Catholic umbrella…They hate our crucifixes because they think we are killing Christ again and again.

Our services here are always standing room only on Good Friday. I don’t know if it’s our region or what, but most people do attend even though it’s not an obligation day.

And why is that anyway??? It doesn’t make sense to me that Good Friday is optional for services.:confused:


#15

[quote="heart4home, post:12, topic:236740"]
You are right that it's wrong, but it's not surprising to me at all.

Many Protestants I know, with the exception of those that are Anglican or Lutheran, do not recognize Good Friday in any way. Many public schools actually have school on Good Friday.

We belonged to a homeschool CO-OP one year that was run by very conservative Southern Baptists, but yet they thought nothing of holding classes on Good Friday. To these particular women, it was all about Easter, and not about reliving Christ's crucifixion in any way.

Then again, many Catholics, wouldn't be concerned by it either. I mean when you look at the number of registered Catholics at a large Parish, how many will actually come on Good Friday?

Personally, I wouldn't let her go, I'd empathize with her, but SHE WOULD attend Church with us on Good Friday.

[/quote]

Be careful here, just because families do not use the parish's Good Friday service to observe does not mean they wouldn't be concerned by the party. The Good Friday service is not something many families can attend as most people either have at least one spouse that works, children who nap, etc. etc.

We sometimes do not attend Good Friday services. We certainly pray, fast, and observe Good Friday, especially the hours Jesus hung on the cross. There is no way I'd send my children to a birthday party. As a matter of fact, I was really annoyed with my daughter's (Catholic) Girl Scout leader who planned a trip to the zoo on Holy Thursday one year. Needless to say she didn't attend.


#16

I am also dealing with a rebellious 14 year old. He says he hates going to church but we require he go to Sunday mass, holy day and holiday masses. We also require him to go to reconciliation several times a year. I wouldn’t allow him to go to a party on Good Friday.

We have a dilemma in that our younger son’s ballgame was canceled due to storms yesterday and they have rescheduled for Friday night. He is their best pitcher.They also have pictures scheduled for Sat morning. I hate to let his team down but am cringing that we would have to miss Mass for a game. We always try to put Church before sports. Maybe it will rain…


#17

[quote="HouseArrest, post:15, topic:236740"]
Be careful here, just because families do not use the parish's Good Friday service to observe does not mean they wouldn't be concerned by the party. The Good Friday service is not something many families can attend as most people either have at least one spouse that works, children who nap, etc. etc.

We sometimes do not attend Good Friday services. We certainly pray, fast, and observe Good Friday, especially the hours Jesus hung on the cross. There is no way I'd send my children to a birthday party. As a matter of fact, I was really annoyed with my daughter's (Catholic) Girl Scout leader who planned a trip to the zoo on Holy Thursday one year. Needless to say she didn't attend.

[/quote]

That's wonderful. I wasn't judging, I'm just pointing out the fact, that it is not just a PROTESTANT thing to ignore Good Friday, there are thousands of members registered at each Parish in our City, and I know without a doubt that some of those would have no issue whatsoever allowing their child to attend a party on Good Friday. I can also assure you that many of those could make more effort to attend Good Friday services, especially since a few of the Churches here also have an evening one, but many choose not to, for no other reason, then they'd rather not.

I don't believe that the make-up of those who search out and post on CAF, represents the general make-up of the Catholic population at large.


#18

[quote="heart4home, post:17, topic:236740"]
That's wonderful. I wasn't judging, I'm just pointing out the fact, that it is not just a PROTESTANT thing to ignore Good Friday, there are thousands of members registered at each Parish in our City, and I know without a doubt that some of those would have no issue whatsoever allowing their child to attend a party on Good Friday. I can also assure you that many of those could make more effort to attend Good Friday services, especially since a few of the Churches here also have an evening one, but many choose not to, for no other reason, then they'd rather not.

I don't believe that the make-up of those who search out and post on CAF, represents the general make-up of the Catholic population at large.

[/quote]

I didn't think you were judging at all. I just don't think you can make that correlation that the # of Catholics attending Good Friday services = many Catholics wouldn't be concerned by the party.


#19

[quote="HouseArrest, post:18, topic:236740"]
I didn't think you were judging at all. I just don't think you can make that correlation that the # of Catholics attending Good Friday services = many Catholics wouldn't be concerned by the party.

[/quote]

Yes, you are absolutely right on that point.:thumbsup:

However I do wonder if the fact that some polls show something like only 30% of self-proclaimed Catholics actually attend Mass on regular basis; well if that could = many Catholics wouldn't be concerned by the party...;)


#20

I'm sorry, but what's wrong with attending a party on Good Friday? Just because you are at a party does not mean you need to break your fast or forgo prayers. You can pass on the hot dogs without passing on your friends. Maybe when your hosts see you there not eating meat, they will think twice next year before offering meat on a Lenten Friday.

If your daughter really wants to go to this party, use that as a bargaining chip. Say that though the party is important to her, Easter weekend is the most important weekend of the year for Catholics. So if you go, you expect to maintain the Good Friday fast and still attend mass Easter Sunday. Try to reason with the girl and if she is unreasonable then say you are disappointed and that you are sorry to have to make an executive decision as head of the household not to attend the party and to go to Easter mass.

I believe it is good for people to see us in social situations abstaining from meat and/or other sacrifices we might be giving up during Lent. It allows others to see our devotion to our faith and may encourage them to ask questions, which surely we would be happy to answer. I don't know all the circumstances of your situation, but snubbing an invitation might not be the high road to take.


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