Okay, so thanks to some help form Benedict Gal, this is what I have so far:
Your Eminence and Dear Cardinal Canizares:
My name is _______ and I am a layman attending the University of ----, located in the Archdiocese of [edited]. As a student, I assist at Mass at the [edited] staffed by the [edited].
Your Eminence, there are some serious liturgical abuses that occur with great frequency at the UCC. At daily masses, the attendees stand around the altar, and the chalice and the ciborium are passed around the room, from communicant to communicant, with each person expected to self-communicate and then hand the sacred vessels along to another. At Sunday masses, the priests allow EMHC’s to break the bread after the consecration during the Agnus Dei, an illicit practice which is in violation of GIRM Paragraph 83 and Redemptionis Sacramentum Paragraph 73. Both documents clearly state that the rite of the Fraction is reserved to the role of a priest or deacon, not to any layperson.
Under the guidelines established by Redemptionis Sacramentum, I contacted the priests, both by email and in person. I spoke more plainly about these concerns to Father _____ and Father _____ on June 5, showing them the relevant portions of the GIRM and Redemptionis Sacramentum. After almost two hours of discussion, neither Father _____ nor Father ____, the pastor of the [edited], conceded any willingness to put an end to these grave practices, allowing only that the issue could be slated for additional discussion at a meeting of the liturgy committee – next September. Sadly, the end result was that the UCC would continue the illicit practices.
As per the guidelines established by Redemptionis Sacramentum, I sent a letter to His Eminence [edited]. The response was somewhat confusing to me.
The written response given to me from the Archdiocesan staff left me rather perplexed. It seemed to have emphasized the “spirit” of the documents rather than what both the General Instruction of the Roman Missal and Redemptionis Sacramentum actually say. What was also troubling was their concern about my reading the authoritative documents of the Church.
Your Eminence, from the tone of the letter, it seems to me that the abuse will continue to persist. This is not the first time that liturgical abuses have been brought to the attention of the Archdiocese. What concerns me is that this is happening at a university where many young Catholics assist at Mass. Redemptionis Sacramentum warns us that such abuses are going to cause confusion among the faithful. It is sad, but what is happening at the UCC is an example of what was noted in the document’s preamble.
Attached, please find copy of the correspondence exchanged between the [edited] and myself. I respectfully request intervention from your Congregation on this issue, per the guidelines outlined in Redemptionis Sacramentum.
I thank you beforehand for your consideration and pray that the Lord will continue to bless you in your work as Prefect for the Congregation for Divine Worship and the Discipline of the Sacraments.
In Christ’s Most Holy Name,
So how is that? Any gramatical errors? Any issues with the tone or substance? Do you think I am missing anything, or put too much detail? ANY input would be good input!
I do have another concern though. There are other illicit practices that hapens at these masses (priests/laypersons pouring the wine, the priest never consuming the Eucharist and precious blood until after the congregation has, etc.) I never included these in the correspondence to the cardinal, so should I include these in my letter to the Prefect? I’m not sure if this would just make it look like I have a “laundry list” and therfore make him less likely to take action…